to feel awkward with DPs dad letting himself in the house?!

[Louellah]

DPs Dad has a key to our house for emergencies (left the iron on type thing etc). I'm pregnant at the mo so nap a lot during the day on weekends. I knew he was coming over later but DP is out and told him he would let him know when he got in. I've just woken up and DPs Dad is in the house! Just let himself in!! Had I not heard him I could've walked downstairs in my pants which I regularly do as I don't expect to have people in the house and not know about it! AIBU to think that DP needs to have a word with him?! He's done it three times now and it's doing my head in. It's my home, I expect privacy and I expect people to knock!!

You need to tell him not to come in!

What was he coming in for?

@NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 he told DP he was coming round later. DP told him he was going out and he'd let him know when he was back. DPs Dad ignored this and came round anyway, let himself in and waited for him to get back. He had no idea I was upstairs asleep.

I’d tell him yourself. Be direct and say it with a friendly smile, but definitely tell him.

I would say lock the door and leave your key in the back but then dp wouldn't be able to get in.
Unless you had your phone with you on loud and he called you when he was on his way back?

My suggestion of taking the key off him and giving it to someone else didn't go down too well!

@TestingTestingWonTooFree I honestly figured it was DPs responsibility to talk to his father about not letting himself in the house. Guess I'll have to have a word which I know won't be well received by DPs Dad...

Just go downstairs and act shocked and say "my God Martin you took the life out of me, I didn't hear the bell"

Fil: I didn't ring I just used my key

You: Please ring the bell and wait for it to be answered first, I hate the thoughts of anyone just letting themselves in without any warning. Especially when the baby arrives and we could be napping/feeding

Sorted, if he does it again take the key back

@Returnofthesmileybar I just stayed in bed as felt too awkward to go down looking like something from dawn of the dead!

I would let him know yourself that you don’t want him letting himself in. Say that last time, you nearly came downstairs in your pants. Surely the potential embarrassment that could result from that will discourage him in future.

I would absolutely hate this. Do you have a bolt or a chain on the doors?

@HollowTalk no but that's a brilliant idea!!!

Next time he does it ring the police and say there's an intruder downstairs.

I'm sure a load of police will put him off doing it again.

I'm half joking.

@Polyannah I likely would've considered this if I didn't know he was coming!

This is totally unacceptable. Tell your partner he needs to handle this immediately and if he won't you will be forced to. I would change the lock if necessary because I would never tolerate having my privacy violated like that.

He's your family. Why do so many women allow this type of behaviour and expect their husband to deal with it. He is not in control of his parents or responsible for their actions. Either of you are absolutely allowed to tell them not to do stuff. In this situation, you were at home. You should have said something at the time. If your partner was home when it happened, then it would have been his job to say something

Obviously you shouldn't have to have a bolt or chain on the doors, but it's the only thing that'll stop him. It sounds as though he has no boundaries - does this show in other ways, too?

Put a bolt on the door for the future.

For now, go down and tell him that hearing an intruder in the house is frightening for you.

Phone the police, some one has broken in!

@Rocinante1 just to clarify he's not my husband.

If it was my parent I would deal with it. I wouldn't expect DP to. It's much less awkward for me to talk to them about it and presumed this would work vice versa.

I didn't actually go downstairs. He's just left and I stayed upstairs because I look like a hot mess and need a shower (which I would've had if we'd have arranged a time!) - much less aggro coming from DP than from me (and I have no issue with confrontation if needed!)

No. Don’t put a bolt on the door, just TELL him he’s not to let himself in!

I’d have gone down, screamed (in fright) and asked WTAF he thought he was doing in your house scaring you like that?!

I'll give the same advice I've given before - sneak up silently and then do a theatrically loud scream as his being there was so unexpected......bet you won't need to do it more than 2 or 3 times....
Only if he has no heart problems, obviously!

Just leave the key in the door when you lock it. Why don't you do this anyway?

That way he will know that someone is in the house.

@LoniceraJaponica I didn't because I was going to sleep and DP needed to get in the house. Otherwise I would have.

Leave the key in the lock?