To tell off sticky fingered, grubby children?

[PolkerrisBeach]

It's our village show today. Lots of floral displays, kids races, decorated plant pots and the suchlike. Lots of entries in the craft and baking tents as there always is. I entered a few things, one being a knitted white rabbit in the soft toy category (came second and won £1)

Went back to the tent to check how I'd done and as we were looking round there was a family with two small children of about 3 and 5 prodding and poking all the entries in the craft section - luckily the baking had been covered with cellophane. I didn't fancy dirty toddler fingers all over a brand new knitted toy so when the child went to grab the bunny, I told her not to, and to leave other people's things alone. The older woman with her said nothing but flared at me as if I had two heads.

So AIBU to expect parents to teach children that they look with their eyes and not their fingers??

OP YANBU.

I have ex friends like this. They have DC that have never been told no, and as a result have no boundaries. After one particular devastating visit where three sibling DC managed to block my toilet, empty a whole bottle of facial oil into my white bedsheets, get chocolate on my sofa and get pen on my walls, they are no longer welcome in my home. It's no surprise that these DC now have behavioural issues as they can't cope with the rules of school.

I think the saying it takes a village to raise a child is apt here. Well done OP for stepping in and attempting to discipline the child.

At our local shows netting is placed along the front of the tables when the public are allowed in the tents so that there is no risk of anything being touched or lifted!
Perhaps you could make this suggestion OP?

OP YANBU to ask but it sounds like u were vile so YABU. children learn from adults and there is nothing wrong with being polite but firm even if the parent was ineffective

From my trip to the chelsea show a couple of years ago my answer would be YES they do let children pick the flowers even when the judges are there inspecting the arrangement...

No under fives allowed at Chelsea and the judging is done before the show opens to the public.

YANBU, op. My dc have been hauled around village shows since they were tiny as I grow prize winning flowers . They have been trained from an early age not to touch and not to run. I have always been more than happy for other people to remind them, especially when I’m staging my exhibits and I can’t hold hands as well as carrying crates of blooms, so am usually barking “DON’T TOUCH!” whether or not they are actually near anything.

The baking tables were covered with stiff cellophane which was sellotaped down, the sort of film which florists use. That's fairly simple as the baking is all fairly "flat", nothing more than 4 or 5 inches tall. Things like tray bakes, chocolate brownies, cupcakes.

The craft section I can appreciate is much more of a challenge - everything from tiny bookmarks to large framed pictures. You couldn't put cellophane over in the same way and I'm not sure how netting would work either. Most people of all ages weren't touching and picking things up - the judges had made sure that the items were all arranged so that people could clearly see.

Yes, first prize was £1.50. And? Anyone who enters these sorts of shows knows it's not about the money.

Well, sounds like your tone wasn't in keeping with social norms if you don't really care whether you were horrid to a small child. The child didn't know what they were doing was wrong, and therefore didn't deserve your behaviour. The adult is the real target of your wrath, so aim it at them instead.

You sound absolutely delightful, op.

Perfectly reasonable to say something, not perfectly reasonable to be so unpleasant.

We look with our eyes, not with our hands.

Mine were dragged up with that mantra. Every kid should be.

£1.50 is pretty good going. Our show used to pay out a lot less than that! They’ve switched to rosettes now though.

Like this OP?

(Photo taken at Northumberland County Show. )

Ah right, gotcha. That sort of plastic fence thing would be ideal, or even chicken wire.

You should have told the grandparent off, not the child. Or even just asked her to not let her mindee touch the toys. Except of course it's easier to holler at a young child whose likely to be intimidated than another adult isn't it? So yes YABU.

They’ve switched to rosettes now though.

I would MUCH rather prefer a rosette. Children get rosettes if they win one of their categories, no monetary prize. You only get a rosette in the adult categories if you amass enough points over all the categories to win either the baking or craft trophy.

The other local show which is at the end of the summer gives something like 40p for coming first and 25p for coming second in a category.

I prefer the rosettes too. I wear them with pride, claiming the kids have made me but actually it’s because I want to wear them.

Can we see a photo of your white bunny?

I think your actions were a little childish OP, it sounds like you snapped at the child which is unreasonable. A gentler approach would have been better. Children are often kinesthetic learners.

"can't stand children that 'see' with their hands."

That is how some people with sensory or learning disability see the world.

Children are often kinesthetic learners.

but they have to learn when it's appropriate to touch things. if their parents don't do it, other people (like the op) have to step in.

My Aspie does that, Sockwomble. Which is why I had to actively teach him when it was ok, when it wasn’t and to ask permission and cope with being told no. Just like when he used to want to touch and investigate every dog we encountered.

This thread... the op asks if she's being unreasonable in telling off a child but clearly believes she wasn't, so what is the point of asking? If you're adamant you did the right thing why bother asking anyone else?

"But touching Ming vases in stately homes or indeed anything belonging to someone else has to be out of bounds without the owners permission."

I completely agree that a child can't be allowed to touch everything they want which for some people means they can't go to certain places but the can't stand comment showed ignorance of how some people cope with the world.