To tell off sticky fingered, grubby children?

[PolkerrisBeach]

It's our village show today. Lots of floral displays, kids races, decorated plant pots and the suchlike. Lots of entries in the craft and baking tents as there always is. I entered a few things, one being a knitted white rabbit in the soft toy category (came second and won £1)

Went back to the tent to check how I'd done and as we were looking round there was a family with two small children of about 3 and 5 prodding and poking all the entries in the craft section - luckily the baking had been covered with cellophane. I didn't fancy dirty toddler fingers all over a brand new knitted toy so when the child went to grab the bunny, I told her not to, and to leave other people's things alone. The older woman with her said nothing but flared at me as if I had two heads.

So AIBU to expect parents to teach children that they look with their eyes and not their fingers??

Lord have mercy, a young child who wants to touch a toy! What is this, Gomorrah?

I’ve made some lovely crochet bunnies for my boys, as they really like chewing on their ears. I’ll have to put a stop to that. Whenever their little friends come round they want to play with them too, but obviously I bat away their grotty little hands.

Tbh, I was thinking this not long ago when my dd went to pick something up, rather than looking.
I know you have to inspect stuff, but you get to the certain you are going to buy stage before doing so.
Anyway, I was just about to say "hey, look with your eyes" when I noticed this was the usual behaviour of adults. They were all doing it without exception.
It's bloody rude.
So I told her, they were wrong.

kitten

Dd was told off for touching cashmere in Inverness when she was 10 yo. The elderly lady said “I do hope your hands are clean”. I replied “of course, dd’s hands are always clean” with a smile. How clean were her own hands or mine for that matter?

Ok - but were you horrid about it?

Quite possibly. Do I care? No. Woman with the children clearly saw nothing wrong in letting them prod and poke everything.

My kids are so sick of me telling them "to look with your EYES and not with your FINGERS" they know exactly what i'm going to say before I open my mouth. It's just common courtesy not to go around handling things which for one thing aren't yours, and for another are entries in a competition.

Surely it’s only in their nature because they haven’t yet learnt not to. And the way they learn not to is adults showing or telling them.

Unless you went completely ballistic at them YANBU.

"We look with our eyes, not with our fingers"

I’ve made some lovely crochet bunnies for my boys, as they really like chewing on their ears. I’ll have to put a stop to that. Whenever their little friends come round they want to play with them too, but obviously I bat away their grotty little hands.

Totally different situation though. Now that the bunny is home after the show, I'm sure he will be loved and cuddled to bits. But a judging tent is not a family home and you would expect adults to appreciate the difference.

Letting the children chase the dogs! She will change her tune when one of them bites back!

If you were horrible to small kids because you were annoyed at the adult accompanying them then yes of course yabu

I don't think it's surprising that a child would want to touch something that looks pleasing to touch. I have to stop myself from doing so myself half the time. The mother should have stopped them though and explained that they were for a competition.

But then maybe she is sleep deprived or otherwise pre-occupied and doesn't know right from left at the moment. I can't tell you how many situations I might have misjudged when the children were younger through being slightly out of my mind with insomnia.

But YANBU to say something to the child- pleasantly, anyway. YWBU to post about it in a goady way on MN.

YANBU, some parents are completely ineffectual.

YANBU OP. I have a real bugbear about people merrily letting their children run riot and make a mess causing other people to have to tidy/fix/sort it. Glass displays in shops is a big one for me! It means someone else is going to have to clean it up, when they wouldn’t have had to before!

Also, it does kids no harm to gently learn respect for other people’s things as standard when they’re tiny, it then stays with them!

But then maybe she is sleep deprived or otherwise pre-occupied and doesn't know right from left at the moment. I can't tell you how many situations I might have misjudged when the children were younger through being slightly out of my mind with insomnia.

I wish people would stop making excuses! It is a craft tent. The items in there have been made with love, dedication and hours of hard work.
If you are too 'sleep deprived' to control your children, don't take them in there!

Wait, let me get this right... a child... touched something?!

It'll have to be burnt now...

On a serious note, as above, fine to remind a child nicely not to touch. Not fine to be an arse about it, especially when it's really the adults fault.

An ‘oh be careful please, you musn’t touch those’ or ‘ergh you are dirty and grubby, don’t you dare touch other peoples things’ are very different. So it depends

to leave other people’s things alone

Tbh if this is what you said to the kids it’s quite rude. I personally don’t see anything wrong with kids touching non breakable things with clean hands as long as they are gentle and respectful. Why do you assume that their hands are grubby? My 3 year olds hands are probably cleaner than the average adults. And of course they will be interested in a toy.

YANBU. I have a friend who comes over and her children are always opening my drawers, picking up ornaments, picking flowers in my garden. It really annoys me! They can't seem to keep their hands to themselves. They also have no filter thinking that it's fine to rifle through my drawers/cupboards, drive their cars up my walls, throwing toys at the skirting boards, standing on the board games boxes so they break etc. She thinks it's sweet that they have no respect for other people's property. They argue with me if I explain that what they're doing us not on. Absolutely no respect whatsoever!

So it's ok to walk into a craft tent at a fair where people have submitted handmade stuff for judging, and let kids pick up what they like because it's a knitted toy, quilted wall hanging or stitched bookmark and not breakable??

No it's not ok. Not there for touching.

Mine after many years of my trying still hasn't got the hang of look and not touch but I do my best to keep him a safe distance from anywhere he might do damage.

All the people saying its just children would you be happy to buy a now dirty material toy that is now sticky? no i thought not? maybe if children damage things in shops parents HAVE to pay for the damage legally there certianly would be less damaged stuff. But people just shrug and tell people claim off your insurance thats what its for....

So next time put a large, transparent cover over the items. Glass bowl or some such. Make it part of the display. I agree that there’s a huge difference between sticky children handling random stuff and them picking up items in show, even if some posters seem confused. I wonder if the same parents let their children pick flowers at Chelsea.

From my trip to the chelsea show a couple of years ago my answer would be YES they do let children pick the flowers even when the judges are there inspecting the arrangement...

Ahhhh bless their precious little hearts...