Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why are people on holiday so miserable

130 replies

Angelbabygloria · 02/06/2018 10:22

I’m on a hot Mediterranean island with DP on our annual hol. Every time we go abroad we notice how miserable / rude the majority of people are.
It’s a mixed resort - mostly older couples, quite a few families, a few younger couples. Mostly German holidaymakers, then British and then Russians.
We smile and say a quick ‘morning’ when we get in lifts etc. Rarely anybody smiles back or the most we get in a grunt.
The Older people are the worst. They look at us like we’re dog poo they’ve just stood in. They push in front and like to be the ‘first’ at everything - boarding boats, at the buffet etc.
I thought holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, happy times? I get families can get stressed with kids, but if you’re retired why can’t you enjoy these simple pleasures of nice weather, food on tap, places to lounge?
I really hope I’m not like that in 40 years Grin

OP posts:
WilburIsSomePig · 02/06/2018 11:40

@VogueVVague

Us too. We chat, but often we're quiet. Doesn't mean anything at all.

user1499173618 · 02/06/2018 11:41

Because you are at a resort and they are the pits.

Original poster
Angelbabygloria · 02/06/2018 11:42

well i dont think we’re doing anything wrong, but who knows!

we’ve met some lovely kids, polite staff, etc

we dont use the sunbeds because they get reserved v early in the morning and stuff like that is uncesseraily stressful imo.

OP posts:
user1490607838 · 02/06/2018 11:43

@Angelbabygloria

I knew there’d be some responses about people being ill or in pain etc. Not everybody is ill or in pain on holiday. Couples not talking or even looking at each other at mealtimes, makes me sad. Ps I’m on my i pad , browsing mumsnet, reading , having a nice time

You are seriously spending a holiday abroad pissing around on your ipad/the internet, posting on mumsnet and moaning about people not being friendly enough with you.? Hmm

That is beyond sad and pathetic.

@TheFirstMrsOsmond

I think there is a reason people are not very keen to fall into conversation with strangers on holiday: everyone has had the experience at some point where you have a 10 minute polite chat with someone at the bar or on the beach, only to find that they seek you out the next day and the day after that and before you know it, they are expecting to spend time with you every day and exchange contact details at the end of the holiday to meet up again. Just one experience like this is enough to make you learn your lesson and be more reserved, hiding behind your sunglasses.

THIS ^ A few years ago, we went on holiday to Spain, and DH decided it would be a good idea to chat non-stop on the coach to 2 (British) women on holiday together - around 10-15 years older than us. For the entire week, these 2 bloody women bugged us, sitting at our table at breakfast, sitting next to us at the pool, sitting next to us at the fucking bar!

I tried to ignore them after a couple of days, but DH kept gasbagging to them. Got to the point where I started walking off and going off on my own with the kids, and the one woman said (as I walked off) 'have you two had a row LOL?'

Stupid cunt. Hmm

Ruined my holiday it did. I partly blamed DH too, as he kept fucking yacking to them. I wanted a holiday with my husband and kids, not some random fuckers I don't even know who latched onto us.

The OP sounds exactly like one of these women. Very annoying, intrusive,, 'why won't you LOVE me?!' kind of irritants!

As someone said upthread, if you think everyone has a problem and is being funny with you/miserable.anti-social, then you have to question if it's you. In the case of the OP, I believe it is.

foreststew · 02/06/2018 11:43

That could be so, user1499. I’ve only ever been to two resort holidays in my lifetime and they were the worst experiences. I’m sure they’re not all the same, however.

crunchymint · 02/06/2018 11:45

OP you say everytime you go abroad you notice this. I would think it was bad luck if it happened once, but this jumped out at me. Be honest with yourself. Are you the kind of person that if someone has a 20 second conversation with you, that you then try and have a very long conversation? Because honestly it sounds as if people are trying to avoid talking to you. And the only reason I can see for that is they do not want to get into a long conversation with you.

foreststew · 02/06/2018 11:47

Ruined my holiday it did. I partly blamed DH too, as he kept fucking yacking to them. I wanted a holiday with my husband and kids, not some random fuckers I don't even know who latched onto us

That sounds like my friend you met. Lovely person but doesn’t consider a holiday a successful one if she hasn’t made new friends, and she does like to socialise with them most of the time. Never to see them again on her return though!

RyvitaBrevis · 02/06/2018 11:51

If you wish to defy convention to be the only British person in the world who cheerily greets people in lifts, by all means, you go on with your bad self, OP, but you can't be surprised if the reaction you get is a perfunctory mumble in reply.

Do your thing, have a nice time, treat others the way you would wish to be treated but don't dwell on it if they don't do the same.

Originally coming here to say what Myrtle said about it not being the norm for strangers to smile at each other in Russia.

disappearingninepatch · 02/06/2018 11:52

Maybe they've all got OH's who've invited MILs / other relatives / random friends on holiday without asking them first!

Don't you hate it when you scroll down a thread to make a witty comment and some other bugger gets in first? Damn you, Nikephorus. Grin

brizzledrizzle · 02/06/2018 11:55

Maybe it's you? We've never had that experience on holiday, mind you we go to unusual destinations and the people that are there are the ones who really want to be there. You don't end up in the Faroe Islands by popping into Thomsons looking for a last meal deal Grin

iklboo · 02/06/2018 11:55

My parents used to still do 'get in' with someone every single holiday we went on. It was like a mission where they sought out likely looking candidates on the coach to hotel or at the welcome meeting.

We'd then be in their company almost all day, every day and I'd be forced to play with the kids if they had any whether we got on or not. Then there'd be the swapping of addresses for Christmas cards and the occasional very awkward visit when we got home. It was bloody awful.

DH & I are polite to people on holiday. We'll say good morning and have a bit of a chat but we don't want to know their life story (one woman told us all about her fibroids and hysterectomy over breakfast), join forces or spend the entire holiday with other people.

Original poster
Angelbabygloria · 02/06/2018 12:02

is saying ‘good morning’ and smiling / saying thank you excessive on holiday ?
I don't want to be friends with these people. or engage in conversation. they dont have to acknowledge us. but i guess on resorts in close proximity to others you cant really escape it.

OP posts:
WilburIsSomePig · 02/06/2018 12:04

I have a friend like this too. She actually 'scouts' for couples a similar age to her and her DH with two boys around the ages of 13 and 11. They spend all their holiday together, then never see each other again.

user1490607838 · 02/06/2018 12:06

But you have no right to complain that people aren't smiley and friendly enough. They don't owe you anything.

PLUS, even though you claim you are not a pushy article who will latch onto people, how are other people meant to know that?

I will literally avoid eye contact with people most of the time when I am away, in case they ARE a pushy, annoying fucker who is desperate to latch on to someone. As many posts on this thread illustrate, there are MANY people like this!

So how are people meant to know YOU are not like that, when you start randomly grinning at them at breakfast time, or in the fucking lift?! Hmm

crunchymint · 02/06/2018 12:08

No OP saying good morning is not excessive. People are just trying to guess why you say you always have this experience. Because that is unusual.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/06/2018 12:19

You're wrong OP, you can escape it - your fellow holidaymakers are escaping it.

If this happens on every holiday you go on then, as PP has pointed out, that would make the common denominator, you/your husband. I never find this myself.

You haven't answered why you're on mumsnet whilst you're abroad having a wonderful time...

Stinkywink · 02/06/2018 12:22

Why do you need to say hello to everyone every day? Do you do this at home with people you don't know?

Sharkwithknees · 02/06/2018 12:22

I'm on holiday atm. It's 18 degrees, hardly anyone brave enough for the pool apart from my DD Confused Have been very happy in gorgeous heat with large group of holiday buddies we've made but not sitting by a pool in mild-at-best weather... though I've just got a beer so feeling slightly happier Grin have a great hol!

PaintedHorizons · 02/06/2018 12:29

They may be having the time of their lives - you are the one that is complaining - Grin

And yes - you never know what's going on in people's lives and your assumptions about people who are older than you, (and therefore "must" be retired and free from all worry) is illogical at best.

Original poster
Angelbabygloria · 02/06/2018 12:36

user I think your past experiences are making you assume I am like those people you encountered on your holiday. calling me a pushy article , etc. I don’t befriend people on holiday. I am just curious. Stop being so aggressive.

OP posts:
PaintedHorizons · 02/06/2018 12:38

Oh yes - and the dreaded "latchers on" - worse once you have kids as there is really sometimes no escape. I have been forced to hide or send DP out to see if "the coast is clear" before dashing down to the beach because we know we'd hear... "Hi, can we join you?" within five seconds of sitting down.

One New Year's Eve many years ago when DP and I were young and in love - some random couple joined us and when the bar closed somehow they came up to our room for "drinks" to carry on the party! In the end I went to bed anyway and DP sat up drinking with them until finally the wife fell asleep on the sofa and DP manged to persuade the other DH to take her home!!!

God save us from "holiday friendships" !!!!!

crunchymint · 02/06/2018 12:40

Some people love holiday friendships. That is fine as long as they make friends with others who feel the same.

Dungeondragon15 · 02/06/2018 13:20

Some people love holiday friendships. That is fine as long as they make friends with others who feel the same.

Well yes, I doubt that anyone wants to be friends with people who don't feel the same. My guess is that the "latchers on" are really only being friendly for the sake of the children.

Brunsdon1 · 02/06/2018 13:26

I tend to agree OP even if the entire hotel in a randomly terrifying sequence of events were all simultaneously having job,marital, financial or pickle related issues there's no need for rudeness

My DP is the grumpiest sod about and dislikes human beings in general and he would still return a cheery greeting (probably in a more reserved way because if he was effusive I'd ask him how drunk he was) or thank someone politely

I always think there is no real need for rudeness and I'm the furthest thing from a doormat

I agree some people seem to go away entirely to give them a reason to moan about things

foreststew · 02/06/2018 13:27

And if you’re a walker/hiker you’ll find people very happy to exchange greetings when crossing paths. It fact it is the done thing!