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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why are people on holiday so miserable

130 replies

Angelbabygloria · 02/06/2018 10:22

I’m on a hot Mediterranean island with DP on our annual hol. Every time we go abroad we notice how miserable / rude the majority of people are.
It’s a mixed resort - mostly older couples, quite a few families, a few younger couples. Mostly German holidaymakers, then British and then Russians.
We smile and say a quick ‘morning’ when we get in lifts etc. Rarely anybody smiles back or the most we get in a grunt.
The Older people are the worst. They look at us like we’re dog poo they’ve just stood in. They push in front and like to be the ‘first’ at everything - boarding boats, at the buffet etc.
I thought holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, happy times? I get families can get stressed with kids, but if you’re retired why can’t you enjoy these simple pleasures of nice weather, food on tap, places to lounge?
I really hope I’m not like that in 40 years

OP posts:

TheFirstMrsOsmond · 02/06/2018 11:07

I think there is a reason people are not very keen to fall into conversation with strangers on holiday: everyone has had the experience at some point where you have a 10 minute polite chat with someone at the bar or on the beach, only to find that they seek you out the next day and the day after that and before you know it, they are expecting to spend time with you every day and exchange contact details at the end of the holiday to meet up again. Just one experience like this is enough to make you learn your lesson and be more reserved, hiding behind your sunglasses

kaytee87 · 02/06/2018 11:07

I can't say I've ever noticed this and we go abroad at least once a year.

Nikephorus · 02/06/2018 11:08

Maybe they've all got OH's who've invited MILs / other relatives / random friends on holiday without asking them first!

ThisCannotBe · 02/06/2018 11:09

Oh God the dreaded forced lift chit chat. Another reason to load up on giant inflatables.

EleanorHooverbelt · 02/06/2018 11:09

Maybe they've all got OH's who've invited MILs / other relatives / random friends on holiday without asking them first!

feebeecat · 02/06/2018 11:09

Agreeing with Marmablade - we went to a resort with a similar mix of nationalities & it was really weird. We had no idea & it really confused us about booking future holidays as its not the usual kind of criteria you look at when considering locations
When we got back to the UK we were so happy when customs stopped and asked us additional questions, it was the first friendly conversation (outside of family) that we'd had in a fortnight

Dungeondragon15 · 02/06/2018 11:13

I have never noticed people being unhappy on holiday so if it is something you always notice I think it has something to do with you rather than the people on holiday, I'm afraid. I think that people with children tend to be quite friendly though because the children (if they are anything like mine) often want to make friends with other children the same age.

Motoko · 02/06/2018 11:13

Peoples problems dont disappear just because theyre on holiday.
Illness, job worries, tense relationships are all still there. Have a little empathy.

Something your posts lack. Funny that.

If my terminal diagnosis meant I'd be miserable on holiday, I wouldn't bother going. As it is, I love going on holiday and make the most of it, and chat and smile to other people because being on holiday makes me happy.

OP These people do sound miserable and you have to wonder why they bother. They don't have to be the life and soul of the party, but manners and a smile aren't hard.

Dandeliontea123 · 02/06/2018 11:14

DP and I have had the same experience, OP. Some younger couples arrived in the last few days of our holiday and they were more friendly.

Take no notice of the miseries, just chat with the waiters and enjoy the sun!

Marmitesoldiers · 02/06/2018 11:14

The German people I’ve come across on holiday all seem to have a cracking time and are jolly. Obviously they’re not ALL German people, but proves you can’t generalise.

I’ve met lots of lovely French people too.

And when I was in my twenties and on a cruise the BEST table by far was the one with the older people on it. They were out for a laugh, had no hang ups and no stress (from bringing up small children while simultaneously looking after ageing parents?).

I went in a lift once abroad and there was a famous German footballer with his child and friend with child in buggies and he tried to move out of the way to let us in (no way we’d have fitted!).

Lots of negative stereotyping here.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 02/06/2018 11:14

Ha ha MrsOsmond This always seems to happen to us on holiday. Probably because dh is very chatty and sociable. One nice enough couple always wanted to sit with us at dinner and round the pool which got a bit draining.

VogueVVague · 02/06/2018 11:18

Breaking news: not everyone is like you

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 02/06/2018 11:18

OP isn't there a saying If everyone you meet is a twat then it's you that's doing something wrong?

Are you that couple who hog the best sunbeds and behave like you own the place?

I've never come across this phenomenon I must admit. Most holiday makers I've found very cheerful.

happypoobum · 02/06/2018 11:19

Sounds like bad luck to me. never encountered anything like this on holiday.

If it always happens to you OP then it's probably you

VogueVVague · 02/06/2018 11:20

That was to @Motoko

MyrtleMoans · 02/06/2018 11:21

I don't know about the other nationalities but Russian people don't smile at people they don't know. They tend to think you're a bit mad if you do. Doesn't mean they're miserable or they hate you. It does feel weird to us brits though

foreststew · 02/06/2018 11:26

I didn’t know about any lift etiquette. . Unless I was acquainted with them I wouldn’t ‘good morning’ people in the lift, but neither would I ignore you if you decided to.
Being in such close quarters I’m always uncomfortable and quick to dash out of lifts.

foreststew · 02/06/2018 11:28

I don't know about the other nationalities but Russian people don't smile at people they don't know. They tend to think you're a bit mad if you do.

I know. I think it’s great, I only naturally remember to smile if I know someone.

MrsJayy · 02/06/2018 11:29

Miserable gitsneeda holiday too they just take it with them some people don't do pleasantries (Sp) I would just keep doing what you are doing and have a nice time.

Dancingtothebeat · 02/06/2018 11:30

The British are particularly punctilious about hellos and thanks and queuing. A lot of other cultures aren’t. So that might answer part of it.

But the other thing to bear in mind is that often people make an effort to keep other holidaymakers at arms length on holiday. A lot of people will be familiar with stories about going on holiday to spend time with their partner and kids but ending up lumbered with people who’ve decided they want company and ‘friends’ all holiday.

mydogisthebest · 02/06/2018 11:30

Well I have never found that on holiday. Of course you get the odd one or two who don't want to talk and that fine or maybe they can't speak English. On the whole though me and DH talk to people of various nationalities on holiday.

We have always found the French friendly apart from in Paris. We have been to Holland quite a few times and the Dutch are very friendly and always speak.

Often it's Japanese that are not particularly friendly and they always push in. Last year on holiday we went on a boat trip and a big Japanese party ran onto the boat and took all the seats next to the windows (so most of them ended up sitting alone with no one from the group next to them). I thought that was incredibly rude and selfish.

MillyTheKid · 02/06/2018 11:31

I think holidays can be a chore for a lot of people. There's often someone who's going along because they feel obliged too, when they'd rather be sitting at home with their feet up and a good book. The heat in places like the Med also probably doesn't help with people's moods.

WilburIsSomePig · 02/06/2018 11:32

Couples not talking or even looking at each other at mealtimes, makes me sad. Really? It makes you 'sad'? How do you notice all this stuff if you're so busy chatting away to your DH and having a jolly, spiffing time?

Some people are just rude. Some people make assumptions about others without knowing a thing about them ...

Enjoy your holiday.

Haribogirl · 02/06/2018 11:33

I’ve been on lots of med holidays in the past.
Just because we manage to go on holiday doesn’t necessarily been your filled with happiness/joy.
Everyone is a different person, and as different makeup

I’ve also differed from anxiety, some times able to cope better than others, sometimes a wreck because of a situation or a thought that escalated that I can’t seem to get a grip off it maybe for a while.

Everyone as day to day things going on in there lives, parents/child/wives/husbands and partners ie illnesses/relationship/work/ stress etc etc

Just be because your on holiday they don’t stop, come to an end
You just try make the best of what you can.

VogueVVague · 02/06/2018 11:37

@WilburIsSomePig
Another thing to bear in mind is me and dp for example are always chatting away.

Sometimes when we go out to eat, especially if its outdoors or the food is particularly good, we just fall into a natural silence where we're just content and enjoying the food and hearing the sounds, feeling the breeze, whatever. You get comfortable silences in relationships. It wouldnt last the whole meal but maybe 5 minutes. If someone looked at us at that moment its sad they would think "oh look at that couple with nothing to say".

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