NC for a bit more anonymity.
She has always been a bit stormy and easily offended but this latest row is the last bloody straw. We are intermittently close but I cooled the relationship a decade or so past because she is so volatile.
A bit of a do was organised by my eldest dd for my youngests 21st. Reason she organised it rather than me is 21 yr old wanted to go To daytime event in London where eldest Dd lives so she took on organisation as familiar with venues. We live 4 hours travel away. We are a big family ( 6 kids and partners). Initially, sis says she will come (no replies from her adult kids) but then says it’s too expensive for her so will just come to evening meal.
We all arrive at rented house day before and I ask if sis still coming to dinner next day to be told she has cancelled as ill. Great day out had by all 14 of us. On the Sunday morning my eldest Dd and I start getting abusive texts from sis. My first one just says “dickhead”. I txt back “?” Then it all pours out that she didn’t feel welcome, felt left out of arrangements as not included in house rental ( she lives 30 mins by train outside Central London so dd had assumed she would go home after dinner as did others at same distance)
Tellingly, to my mind, she said she had no idea our df was coming and didn’t know until she saw pictures on fb a family member had put up. Df has recently been diagnosed with dementia and she has been quite odd about my taking on some care - comments like “virtue signalling” every time I mention we have been out with him. I also noted in past 8 weeks I’ve phoned her 3 Times, no calls back although once got through to her, she said she was busy and would call me back ( she didn’t)
My interpretation is that she wasn’t that bothered about coming until she saw pictures and has now chosen to feel aggrieved. I told her this and got a barrage of nasty texts
We are now nc and I’m upset because I feel we didn’t exclude her at all. Perhaps a bit busy and not chasing her and her family up. As far as my eldest Dd concerned she was coming until she cancelled I seem to have got the flack though. How do I repair this. Am I in the wrong?