To be having a mini melt down?

[southernharp]

Long story short .. h left for OW. I stayed in the house for a while but it became too much for me to live in the small community where we are. I used a lawyer to force him to sell and split the proceeds and to move the kids to a new school with me in the nearest town. I got a new job. I lived in a rental and then bought my own house. Moved yesterday got a moving company to do the work. Today surrounded by boxes and heavy furniture all in the wrong places. My friend said she would come and help but she has just cried off. Kids with him at his insistence even though they wanted to help. So now here I am alone. How do I unpack when I have massive shelves and wardrobes and a piano to move? Feeling really alone and having a little cry.

Do a box now then find yourself a cup of tea/wine/gin and go to bed. It's late and it can wait till morning. Get yourself some rest and you'll feel a lot better.

Well done for moving on with your life x

You've done so well. It's your first night in your very own new home and that is an amazing achievement. Get your bed sorted out, watch a bit of telly with a cuppa.

Can you afford to get a man with a van in on the weekend to help you move the big stuff?

Welcome to your new home - congratulations!

Just right now, do the minimum required to have a drink, snack and bed. Tomorrow is a new day

Tomorrow, go and get coffee and croissants to start off well. I bet you'll be able to persuade someone to help with an hour of shifting stuff?

Pianos are extremely heavy. Many piano tuners will help move them - they often have a piano trolley. Book one in for next week?

The unpacking and furniture sorting will wait. Pour a big glass of wine and toast yourself that you have got the chance of a brand new start without a cheating arse. You have done this all by yourself. You may not have chosen it but by God you have done it. Be proud and look forward.

It doesn’t all have to be done right now. You have done amazingly moving on and taking charge of your life. Moving is stressful at the best of times and this sounds like a long day already. You deserve some you time and get up tomorrow ready to beast the unpacking!!

It is tomorrow for me. I have house to unpack and still no help. Just can't move the big stuff alone. Feeling despondent. And lonely. I have phoned a man and a van and left a message.

It's shit, you're right, permission to have a mini melt down.

Then the man with the van will call you and move the big stuff and you can get on with settling into your new home without your dickhead of an ex. Good luck OP

You've done brilliantly. Just make sure you can clear a space for the time being where there are no boxes around.

Hope you’re ok

If the man with van can’t help, have a look on local FB selling groups. There’s always loads of ads for this type of service. We have a couple of men we have found to help with varied jobs eg moving stuff, trips to dump, lifting tiles etc, our local ones are £10 an hour or so

Bless you op

Is there no one else you can ask for help? How old are your dc and when will they be home?

Congratulations!!!

I do feel your pain. I moved into a house 3 months ago. It's on 3 floors and moving anything around on my own is pretty much impossible. Dd is 10 and together we moved the old sofa downstairs into the garage. Most things you need 2 adults for.

Go in some pragmatic stages.

Have somewhere to sit sorted even if sofa is in the wrong place.

Unpack kitchen bits.

Next somewhere to sleep.

Can you try local sports club to source a couple of teenagers to come and move stuff around for a couple of hours?

When my friend and I built heavy bunk beds we couldn't lift one on top of the other to finish them off. So I went to local pizza parlour and paid young lad £10 to come and help.

You are amazing. You got this. It's going to be ok.

Have a little cry, have a cup of tea, take yourself out for a walk. These things will get sorted. The unpacking and moving of furniture will get done. Maybe not today, but in a few days time things will start to fall into place. You've done so much, you're in the home straight now.

I think you're amazing, you've done the hard stuff, you have time to sort out your home.

It’s probably been waiting to come out for a little while. It’s fair enough to be upset after all you have been through recently.

Break up is stressful, moving isn’t stressful, you have just done both

I assume you aren’t in the uk? Otherwise I’d suggest letting us know where you are and seeing if anyone can help.

How has it gone today OP?

I hope you found someone to help and are having a much better day, OP!

Been there OK. It is fucking lonely. But take a step back and look at what you have achieved: you have made a new life for you and your kids. That is amazing. A few boxes are small fry compared to that.

So do as everyone said: take it step by step and try and get help for the heavy items, I asked some work colleagues to move heavy stuff for me.

When you have done it all, you will look back and be so proud.

Keep going. It is worth it.

Well done for getting your new place ! Been there myself too and no-one to help with making beds etc so what I did was pay a handyman for a day and he did the lot!
Money well spent and stopped me totally stressing out

I agree with PP if you can afford to pay a handyman for a day I would. (I did that because DH didn't have time off work and the thought of trying to do it alone was stressing me out). It's probably also just the stress of being the only person responsible for everything on top of all the other stress.

Well I asked a new neighbour who helped me for an hour to move the big items. The kitchen is unpacked and the beds are up. I am in my old place now moving out all the clothes and food and then I have to give it a clean. Tomorrow is a public holiday here and a friend is traveling up from my old home to try and get on top of the boxes. She is very practical and efficient. I do feel sad when I should be happy about my new house. After years of living in the sticks I am finally living right in the city in an old cottage and I should be over the moon. It's just hard. And my mum died not long ago too leaving me with no family now apart from my kids.

If I had seen this earlier and you lived in West Yorkshire I have three strapping young adult DS's who would have been very willing to come and help you.
However you're sorted; I hope you'll be very happy in your new home OP.

Are you in New Zealand OP?

It will get better and doing this hard bit will show you your strengths. Hope today goes well.

Yep. I am in NZ v

That sounds tough but sounds like you’ll be living in a great place.
Just tell yourself that it won’t always be like this and you will get there eventually. Glad you’re friends coming to help, hopefully day by day things will get easier.