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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for advice on how to keep shy 8 year old fit?

46 replies

Notcool1984 · 01/06/2018 22:34

Hello,

Just looking for some advice really.. my eight year old is lovely, caring and sensitive. But on the flip side he is painfully shy and finds it hard to fit in with the more laddy boy characters in his school. He does have a few friends, other quieter boys and a couple of girls who he plays with well.
He is a healthy weight and I cook healthy food for him, with the occasional treat (about the same as I used to have growing up). But my problem is his fitness. He will not join in any sports clubs, honestly any, he has tried and been unable to join in swimming, tennis, football, the list goes on...he stands at the side crying and frankly it is not good for him (or me) as it becomes distressing :(
He does p.e. at school of course and he plays in the garden / goes swimming with me, but I am starting to really notice his fitness levels compared to peers and it is not good. He gets puffed out easily.
I was wondering if anyone has any advice? He really likes reading / art / music / his computer, none of which are keeping him active...
Thanks for any thoughts :)

OP posts:

3boys3dogshelp · 01/06/2018 22:38

Try junior park run. It’s only 2km, the age spread is really wide (4yrs to 14yrs) with lots of adults joining in too (mostly with the younger ones but nothing to stop you doing it to get him started). There is no winner or loser, you just have to finish it and you get a time, which you can try to beat the following week. He wouldn’t have to talk to anyone if he didn’t want to but it is very friendly and as it’s every Sunday morning you get to know people if you keep going every week.

TheSpottedZebra · 01/06/2018 22:39

Dance?
A martial art?
Skating?

Can he try loads of stuff and are in there's something he likes?

Onlyoldontheoutside · 01/06/2018 22:42

Take him out walking taking photos,you too.Have a theme.Kids see thing differently,think of things to take pictures of things we don't think of.The walking becomes incidental but will help his fitness.

bertyflump · 01/06/2018 22:42

Watching with interest as I have the same issue with my 7 year old girl. She won't persevere with anything unless she is immediately good at it. The one thing that she did love when she tried it was climbing. We have a Clip n Climb near us and she immediately took to it. I think they do courses and climbing clubs too, so might be worth a try if you have a climbing wall near you? Less 'teamy' than other sports so might be less of a shyness issue too?

Candlelight123 · 01/06/2018 22:43

My dd has joined a trampolining club- its worked wonders for her fitness.

Fruitcorner123 · 01/06/2018 22:43

My 7 year old is like this about any team sports. He does swim as we have been taking him since he was too little to object.

Does he have a bike or scooter.? My son loves going on his scooter to skate park. We also live in the kind of place he can go out on his bike which he loves to do. Another thing that they can be active on is a trampoline in the garden.

basically my son is happy doing non competitive things where noone is watching or judging him.

TeaAndToastForBreakfast · 01/06/2018 22:44

I was also going o suggest junior park run! You can run round with him and he might get to know some regular faces if he keeps going, and branch out to running without you :) Are there any junior cycling clubs near you? Also another option. And yes, I agree with the the martial arts suggestion :)

(What didn't he enjoy about swimming? Perhaps you could try a different pool, or maybe diving?)

Have you thought about stage school? They usually include a fair bit of dance, and tend to be fun and help kids with their confidence too(?) and the sport is hidden!!

UrgentScurryfunge · 01/06/2018 22:45

Any junior parkruns nearby? 2k for 4-14 yos. Register and print off a barcode and turn up on Sunday morning for 9am at your leisure. It's as casual or competitive as you want it to be (my DCs are motivated by sibling rivalry). It's a timed run rather than a race and the final person is the tail walker who brings up the rear. There is a real spread from the older club runners to 4 year olds giving it a try with all abilities in between. It's great being free of the social pressures and expecations of school and formal activities.

bridgetreilly · 01/06/2018 22:46

Cycling as a family.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/06/2018 22:48

My shy 7 yr old dd likes all the individual sports. So she does Martial arts, ballet, swimming. Hates anything with balls, or where she would feel bad to not be helping her team.

PeggySchuylar · 01/06/2018 22:48

Do stuff together. Choose activities that you both like.

Try things that adults who don’t like team sports might enjoy.

Cycling, running, Tai Kwon Do, trampolining, climbing, kayaking, walking, geocaching.

Park Run is a good suggestion.

Mannix · 01/06/2018 22:48

How about installing the 7 minute workout app on your phone and the two of you could do it together every day?

OnTopOfSpaghetti · 01/06/2018 22:49

Do you have a Choi Kwang Do class near you? Its a self defence class but non competitive - the focus is on personal development, and also no direct physical contact, you do practice in pairs but using shields and hand/leg protectors. It has done wonders for my 2 DSs confidence. Would highly recommend.

FishFingerInjury · 01/06/2018 22:51

My similar in personality son enjoys cricket as there’s very little contact (he struggled with football, rugby etc). How about tennis? Maybe with you if not with a group.

Oh and I agree that a martial art could work.

TheWoollybacksWife · 01/06/2018 22:54

My sensitive DS started karate at 6 and is now a black belt at 11. His club is fantastic and his success has done wonders for his self confidence.

Shopkinsdoll · 01/06/2018 22:55

My son is so shy too, I have really worried about him in the past. He’s 8. He goes to boys brigade and loves it. Took him a few weeks to settle, but we kept going and eventually he started enjoying it. Also tikondo, that took a few weeks too. My sons shyness was really getting me worried before, he’s came out his shell so much the past wee while.

Fatjilly · 01/06/2018 22:59

Do you have an indoor ski centre nearby? If so then Snowboarding or skiing. Non-competitive, fun and great for fitness.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 01/06/2018 23:03

Another vote for climbing/bouldering. Outdoors if possible. It's calm, focused, go at your own speed etc. but works out pretty much your whole body.

My shy DN has really taken to it and it works for him where team sports and more frenetic things just haven't.

CalmConfident · 01/06/2018 23:05

Climbing, biking, and Junior parkrun!!!

BrightonBB · 01/06/2018 23:09

Another vote for Junior Parkrun - you could always just go for a walk that happens to be where the Parkrun is taking place and he can take a look before trying it. Easy to be anonymous so it is not pressured but it is very encouraging and good fun so he would feel good after finishing and build up confidence and fitness.

Echobelly · 01/06/2018 23:12

How far is school? Could he ride/bike there? DS (6) has no interest in sporty activities but at least he does walk to and from school, a mile each way, during the week, so I know he's not too sedentary.

junebirthdaygirl · 01/06/2018 23:14

Lots of moving generally in life. Walk to school together. Scooter to the shop. Family bike rides or hiking on weekends in woods or hills. Know one mom who does a run around the block every evening with her ds. They chat together and he loves it. Keeping her moving too.
Football in the garden with his dad .
Also some gyms have kids classes which would make him more agile.

AllMYSmellySocks · 01/06/2018 23:23

I second the suggestion of climbing. I have a few friends who are into climbing and it seems to attract less of the extraverted boys boys who might play rugby.

LittleOwl153 · 01/06/2018 23:31

Yep, another shy 8 yr old here. Individual sorts are the way to go.
Junior Parkrun - progressing to 5km Parkrun, swimming and trampolining are our sports.

Parkrun and swimming have also increased confidence in school as there is nothing like being top of the class for school swimming or being the fastest girl at daily mile (or beating your teacher at parkrun!)

Original poster

Notcool1984 · 02/06/2018 08:40

Thank you all for the fab suggestions! We are going to give Junior Parkrun a go tomorrow. He has a 4 year old sister so she can try too.. I am going to save this thread and come back to try some more of your ideas. Also reassuring there are other shy 8 year olds out there, sometimes seems he is the only one!

OP posts:

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