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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for advice on how to keep shy 8 year old fit?

46 replies

Notcool1984 · 01/06/2018 22:34

Hello,

Just looking for some advice really.. my eight year old is lovely, caring and sensitive. But on the flip side he is painfully shy and finds it hard to fit in with the more laddy boy characters in his school. He does have a few friends, other quieter boys and a couple of girls who he plays with well.
He is a healthy weight and I cook healthy food for him, with the occasional treat (about the same as I used to have growing up). But my problem is his fitness. He will not join in any sports clubs, honestly any, he has tried and been unable to join in swimming, tennis, football, the list goes on...he stands at the side crying and frankly it is not good for him (or me) as it becomes distressing :(
He does p.e. at school of course and he plays in the garden / goes swimming with me, but I am starting to really notice his fitness levels compared to peers and it is not good. He gets puffed out easily.
I was wondering if anyone has any advice? He really likes reading / art / music / his computer, none of which are keeping him active...
Thanks for any thoughts :)

OP posts:

Camp3rvaann · 02/06/2018 08:55

Geo cache or join Facebook groups where you can share bird or nature or photography photos. So you get to walk, cycle to the places to take the photos or geo cache

CalmConfident · 02/06/2018 14:09

Hope junior parkrun goes well tomorrow, remember your barcodes!

Queenoftheblitz · 02/06/2018 14:12

Set up a swingball in your back garden. It's addictive and great for upper body strength. About £30 from argos.

Original poster

Notcool1984 · 03/06/2018 14:24

He really liked it :) thank you! He ran it himself. Swingball is also a great idea, had one when I was a kid!

OP posts:

BrightonBB · 03/06/2018 15:55

So pleased the Junior Parkrun went well - onwards and upwards :)

3boys3dogshelp · 03/06/2018 16:07

CalmConfident · 03/06/2018 19:43

Great news about parkrun !

AuntyElle · 03/06/2018 19:47

Do you have a city farm near you? They often do kids’ activities and the focus is on the animals and helping out, no reason for competitive stuff. If he got into it it would be quite physically active.

BrightonBB · 09/06/2018 18:07

Notcool - if you are doing Parkrun this weekend, many are doing an NHS special so check your local Junior Parkrun FB page if they have one - some are saying optional dress up.

Nomad86 · 09/06/2018 18:19

Cycling. (If you're near Manchester, check out Simply Cycles).
Climbing.
Park run.
Swimming.
Walking in the countryside.
Roller blading.

How about a sport you can do with him? Badminton is a nice easy and cheap one to start with. Does he have cousins or any children he feels less shy around who he could go with?

capercaillie · 09/06/2018 18:25

Another vote for junior parkrun - has been brilliant for my non team sport loving daughter. I ran with her to start with and then she had more confidence to do it herself. She has noticed a difference in her fitness and will now sometimes join me on a run. Could also tell the diffeeence in her confidence on sports day.

MissCharleyP · 09/06/2018 18:31

My local town has an organisation called ‘Active (name of town)’ they organise loads of stuff; nature walks, dancing, the local 10k with a ‘family mile’. Maybe see if there is anything similar by you? Great that he did Parkrun, I love running!

Odiepants · 09/06/2018 18:42

My nonsporty shy 8 yr old DS does swimming and karate, both of which are good for his fitness and confidence. He doesn't always love going but he was pleased when he started swimming at school and was one of the best in his class.

I go out for a long walk 3-4 times a week and he comes with me at least once a week which is lovely because we get to have a relaxed chat.

FrangipaniBlue · 09/06/2018 18:46

I take DS out cycling (I take a picnic in a rucksack and sometimes we're out all day), we go walking (around cycle routes or coastal paths, up fells or round lakes) and we do Park Run most Saturdays.

He isn't in any clubs but he's one of the fittest in his class.

FrangipaniBlue · 09/06/2018 18:48

We also try to walk everywhere, so to and from school (1.5mikes each way) and same if we're going to town at weekends

MiniMum97 · 09/06/2018 19:09

Choi Kwang do is a money making scam. I would do a more traditional martial art if that floats his boat.

user1471530109 · 09/06/2018 19:19

My dd is 8.5 and painfully shy too. She has severe anxiety to the point she can't speak.

But. She does do lots of extracurricular stuff! She often finds these hard with her anxiety but when we chat about it after she's calmed down, she always wants to go and try again.

She does Brownies AND cubs.
Ballroom dancing (there are a fair few boys doing it at her class too)
Swimming

She also does running club at school (she is not a runner bless her).

She is always on her bike and loves going to the climbing wall.

She also does a martial art with her dad.

I am very much not sporty and I deeply regret this. I'm glad she is more active than me!

I think she likes the sports as none of them require her to talk. She even does the dancing in front of 100s of people. Totally fine! As long as she don't get her to talk!

Could you speak to one of the friends parents and see if they could do a club together? To try and have a buddy? In every case I've listed above, my dd goes with a different friend.

Tyke2 · 31/10/2018 13:45

My DS is very similar and started putting on weight.
We introduced him to Junior Parkrun and also going out on short runs once or twice a week.
He really enjoys it at Parkrun and now has been able to get gradually up to 5k runs. he's 9 yr old and has gradually lost 10lbs in weight, plus gained a lot of confidence.

FishCanFly · 31/10/2018 13:49

something individual you could do together? Roller skating? Cycling? Any of those fitness games for Wii/Xbox?

Usernumbers1234 · 31/10/2018 14:09

Like Onlyontheoutside said early on. I’d get a camera, phone if necessary better still an old portable digital camera (they just seem to engage more) and get out and start walking with him.

Gradually increase the distances, it’s great fitness in itself and might act as a stepping stone to something more intensive. Taking the camera just acts as a distraction from the main focus of the walk.

It’s just great time with the kids too, get so much more revealing conversation from them about school life and stuff when you are away from the distractions of home.

Original poster

Notcool1984 · 25/11/2018 21:35

Thought I would update this, as it was so helpful at the time.
My son found a sport he really liked in the end - parkour. He has also been taking a one to one swimming lesson which I hope eventually leads to him joining back in a group lesson.
The park run didn't work out for us in the end as he started resisting after two weeks, but the parkour has been for about two months now and he loves it, so hopefully that will stick!

OP posts:

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