AIBU to just give my DD the same meals everyday?

[harlaandgoddard]

My DD is nearly 3. The lists of foods she will eat is getting shorter and shorter. She will eat porridge for breakfast every day, thank god. Everything else is so bloody difficult. We are down to around 3 meals she will actually eat. Anything else is no mummy I don’t like it. I try to stay cool and calm and say ok don’t eat it then. She inevitably says she’s hungry 20 mins later and I can’t take the whingeing so an hour later I give her toast with butter and some fruit.

She is with my MIL two days a week and I know they feed her crap then, but there’s not much I can do about that.

She won’t eat any form of potatoes or rice. No meat whatsoever except fishfingers (and even then she’ll pick at them). AIBU to just give up? The meals she will eat aren’t awful (but not great either). I’m thinking she has to get bored of eating the same thing eventually? And maybe then she’ll try other foods?

She used to be such a good eater, I don’t know what happened.

What are the meals she will eat?

Dc1 (6yo) is picky certainly compared to us and her brother. If she could eat a ham sandwich, tomatoes cucumber and a yoghurt three times a day she would be happy. And doing the whole "this is what there is so eat it or go hungry" just results in her going hungry.

She hasnt eaten dinner for the last three nights (no supper either) because she "doesnt like" stuff even though she eats the exact same at school and or CMs.

It’s very normal at this age but very frustrating. I’d put something different on her plate at each meal but with no pressure to try it. I’d stick to what she will have and stay calm and don’t react to her refusal to try things. I’m sure she will grow out of this if it’s virtually ignored. My bro ate only chips, chocolate biscuits and orange juice for a year !!!!! He’s now knocking on 70 and does fell running, swimming, weight lifting and yoga and is full of energy and very strong. As a young child though he was a total nightmare apparently when it came to acceptable foods.

What happens if you stop giving her the toast for a few days? Often the message of doesn’t matter as you will get what you want anyway doesn’t help.

I would make sure each meal includes something she does like (even if it leads to odd combinations) and then just make no fuss if she eats it or not.

At that age my DD went through a phase where she’d only eat satsumas, cheese and cream crackers - I just let her go with it.

(I think she was eating other stuff at nursery).

My DS was like this, I was tearing my hair out. DS liked bananas, fromage frais and weetabix and that was basically all he would eat.

I worried, went to GP, tried many many foods and basically got nowhere. In the end my family and DHs convinced me to stop worrying and leave him to eat what he wanted.

He is 17 now and will try anything and likes a large variety of food. He grew out of it basically, I can remember the weeks of worry but what actually happened after. It all just turned out okay.

She will eat pasta, sauce and cheese, cheese sandwiches with carrot sticks and tinned tomato soup with bread. Carrot is the only veg she will eat. I also do fishfingers and carrots sometimes but as she only picks at the fishfingers it’s more like a snack.

I do put new foods on the plate all the time but she’ll just play with it, take it off her plate or ignore it.

OublietteBravo

At that age my DD went through a phase where she’d only eat satsumas, cheese and cream crackers - I just let her go with it.

(I think she was eating other stuff at nursery).
and that proves she was clearly trying it on so caving into the fad makes it worse and the Nursey were not caving in their is nothing else’s offered and most Nurseys so she ate it

I would do a half cheese sandwich plus a small portion of whatever you are having for lunch on her plate.
With dinner a small portion of pasta and sauce with cheese with a small portion of whatever you are having.

Tell her to eat what she likes and leaves what she doesnt. Anything new she has a good taste of, whether she likes it or not, earns her a sticker.

I would go with the flow and occasionally add a small taste of something else on the plate. If she says she does not like it, just say fine, leave it on the side. I don’t think bribing, cajoling or hiding food in other things is any use.

I am quite a picky eater, as is my eldest. When I was small, back in the 50s, my mum would pick me up from nursery with the cold lunch still in front of me. The dinner ladies at Primary school were Not much better

I tried to accommodate my son, so that he would eat. Like me he was very slim . I hated having MiL over at meal times because she would go on and on about how little he ate and how I should not cook separate meals for him.

I think that this might be a phase, but if not it really is something you learn to live with. The most important thing is that it is not naughtiness. My son has 4 DC, one of whom is food sensitive. I think it can be genetic.

Sometimes a get so fucked off with my kids (3&5) refusal to eat anything other than margarita pizza that I just give them toast, fruit and a fromage frais for dinner. Fuck it. They'll grow out of it.

Food sensitivities and learning to live with it

I have one of these, who followed an eat-anything kind of kid (we thought we were the parents who had food sorted, til DS2 came along and put us straight ).
The only things I would say are, if you offer decent, plain, wholesome food, then they will eat if they are hungry. Also, worst thing you can do is turn meal time# into a battle. You won't win, and your child will have food issues for life.
If they're not hungry/won't eat, fine, let them move on. Chances are, they'll come back. Maybe they won't - either way, not your issue. No child ever starved in a house full of food that they just didn't like

I think it is a 3 year old thing. Although dd has all of a sudden started eating potatoes which she has refused to even look at since she was about 1.

Like pp have said, just add a bit of what you're having to her plate.

The advice for fussy eaters is to continue offering foods they refuse, in small amounts, then take it away if they don't eat it, but not offer substitutes.

Food refusal is emotional usually and a way to get control (child over parent) or attention.

By refusing to engage and be detached, it stops the game.

She won't starve herself. Do not give her snacks. This won;t solve anything. Give her 'normal' meals and ideally ones you eat yourself even if you cook it in batches or heat yours up later.

I gave my son Jam Sandwiches for Christmas dinner one year as he would eat no part of the traditional dinner. He was happy. He has grown up to eat everything now and adores Christmas Dinner!

My DS turned picky at age 2/3

I fed him the same we had, plus a slice of plain brown bread for ages

That way he could eat either or both, the big thing was to not make a fuss about it

Over time he started eating more normally. At 12 he still preferred his shepherd's pie with a side of bread, but eats pretty much everything now

No fuss, simple options, and never give up

This is very normal at this age but in my experience, 3-5 is when they start coming out of this fussiness and if you keep just giving her what she wants she will likely never learn to eat a variety of foods. You must keep putting various food in front of her, even when she claims not to like it any more. And also put out new foods. She shouldn’t get to dictate this completely as it’s a health issue and the responsibility is on parents to encourage, train, educate and enforce mealtimes.

Just as with going to school some kids are tougher than others but letting an otherwise healthy 3 yr old dictate you down to 3 meals only that she’ll eat is not good for her.

I work on the premise that I give my children 3/4 things on their plate. I make sure that I know they'll eat at least 2 of those things. The other 1/2 things are 'nice to eats'. Always have one or two servings of veg. Then you know they at least will eat one or two things. if they leave the rest, so be it. I keep it available for half hour or so after they've got down from the table, if they say they're hungry within that time they're welcome to finish their lunch. No more food until next mealtime. Just have to stick to it for a few days and she will either be hungry enough at the next meal to try more things.

If you're concerned about waste, try reusing the leftovers - cooked peas and other veg or meat can be baked into egg muffins for instance which may be more appealing.

Nothing wrong with having a revolving list of say 5/6 similar meals, so long as she's getting roughly the nutrients she needs - top up with a vitamin maybe just to be sure. But keep offering other things with the staples you know she'll eat. And like a pp says, no fuss if theyre ignored. Eventually she WILL eat them again.

Only offer water with meals - I find milk fills my two up and they don't eat enough dinner.

When mine was a toddler (now 16) she went through a phase of Sweet and Sour Supernoodles - that was all she'd eat for breakfast lunch and dinner! After 3 days of battles at 7.00 in the morning as I needed to get to work, I thought sod this and that's all she had for 3 days!! She can't stand them now!

It’s very stressful at the time, but honestly it’s not worth the stress.

Just give her a slightly smaller portion of what she will eat and something else on the side, preferably things she used to eat.

Make no fuss either way whether she eats or not. No telling off, no rewards.

Honestly, just take the battle out if it. It won’t always be this way and she will be fine.

I've four kids and they've all gone through extremely fussy phases. My seven year old is finally coming around to trying a few new foods recently. I have tried cajoling, bribing and witholding. None of it works. So they get what's dished up or toast. Most times they have toast. I also make sure they have some cucumber or carrot and a yoghurt to fill them up but sometimes they don't even eat those.

I stopped worrying about it a long time ago. My elder sister lived off noodle doodles and white bread for four years. She's fine now.

Definitely a 3 year old thing. I did baby led weaning and she would any anything (albeit in v v small amounts) until 3. Then appetite increased but what she would eat narrowed to pasta, raw carrots and chicken. The odd grape and mini cheddar.
Now 5 and back to eating most things, just not much. Wish I had know as I would have saved myself a lot of angst

I'm another who was very fussy, lasted years until my mum finally took me (a very very tall child) to the GP who laughed at her, said stop making a fuss about it and either feed her what she's asking for or don't but don't make it a battle. Well my mum wasn't about to let her poor little DD starve so made me the same meal every day for tea for weeks on end. Eventually, I grew bored and started wanting other things.
Now I'm an adult I will eat most things. The only thing that has stuck with me is my dislike of meat, which my Dad and grandmother (his mum) would battle me on every time. I'm very much of the opinion that children should be given what the adults are having, and a bit of what they requested (within reason) until they pass through this phase.

I’d probably rotate soup, pasta and sauce, fish fingers, cheese sandwiches for a few days and get some peace from it all. Carrots in sticks as a snack and with every meal. If she eats fruit then that’s good too.

Then I’d maybe try giving her plain pasta with a bit of whatever you are eating on the side and see what happens.

Have you tried giving her something she likes on her plate and asking her if she wants to try your food? Kids seem to like food better when it comes off someone else’s plate!

Have you any cousins or friends of her that eat well? Sometimes eating with other kids is good, and may explain the nursery thing better.

My mum likes to remind me of the long phase I had where I would only eat tomato soup and a banana sandwich. Every day.

It did me no harm!