Stupid questions

[lizzlebizzle33]

What stupid questions does your DH ask you? So far today, upon being asked to go and pay our rent he asks how much it is!? ( we have lived here for 3 years) and then asks me what his PIN number is. Mine he knows but not his own 🙈🙈

every wednesday i get asked 'what are we doing at the weekend?'

its wednesday, we have two children who may, or may not have matches, may or may not fancy going swimming, may or may not suddenly get their period on the morning of swimming and change their minds, may be invited on a play date, may decide not to play tennis because its raining. we may run out of milk, we may need to drive the 10 miles to our local town to a shop/bank/chemist. the answer 'nothing ' is not acceptable to him, he wants a blow by blow timetable and then.....when it all goes wrong because the period came, it rained, there was a play date invite, we ran out of milk....he gets annoyed and says we have failed to stick to our plan!!!!! Drives me insane!

My DH's most common one is "are these grapes still ok" (or other food stuff) when I'm in another room and he is stood in front of said grapes!

Omg I don't know where to start. It's constant. 2 plates of food in kitchen. One big dinner plate full of adult sized portions, one orange plastic parrot plate with toddler size portions, 'Which is ds's food and which is mine?' Seriously. Phone calls at work to ask where various items are. I don't know dp I'm 30 miles away and you're in the house. And as for the conversations I know we've had that have totally bypassed his consiousness.....

What time is it/what’s the date today?

Often while standing in front of the calendar at work, or while actually looking at his phone. The time is right there at the top you lazy git!

I’ve just stopped answering, and he looks for himself. Turns out he wasn’t really asking me, just musing aloud.

'Whats on the menu' for various take aways is another. I don't know dp. You can Google it as quickly as I can.

Oh yes I've had all these. Now, I either don't answer or say I don't know. Strangely, he asks a lot less these days.

My (ex) H once asked me whether a piece of cheese on toast was hot while he was holding it...

Shall I:
...put this away? (like ice cream or something)
...make the kids dinner? (at dinner time, when they've not eaten and I'm about to go out)
...put the bin out?
...throw this away?

...or any infinite number of things that so clearly and obviously need to be done but for some reason I have to give permission first. He's not a fucking chimp. Aargh!

I tend to announce when I'm going to have a shower or make a phone call etc because it would be weird to just walk out if a room. I'd find it weird if DH just got up without saying either. Maybe we're.we're both weird.

If any of you know where the bloody bicycle repair kit is, please tell me so it stops him asking me five times a day where HE left it? I haven't seen the fucking thing.

Am sorely tempted when I find it it turns up, to ram the thing up his backside...

What time does DD need collecting from school?

I get the "I'll go shopping, what do we need?" question which is usually answered by, we need everything , go and look in the fridge, but no - he still needs a list. Every time.

I don't get the silly questions. He does expect me to be a mind reader though. Standing behind me, making a gesture about something...
Here's a clue, I can't see you and even if I could I don't know what you mean. Use your words!

None at all. He had to leave for work at 9am, and won't be home until between 11-12 tonight.

Me sitting telly on.
Him comes in picks up tv remote turns telly over
Me. Stares at him
Him. You weren’t watching that anyway where you.

Grrrrrr

Is your birthday the 9th or the 10th?
We've been together 18 years.

I’ve just stopped answering, and he looks for himself. Turns out he wasn’t really asking me, just musing aloud.

@DorothyBastard ^ this

Used to drive me crackers, til someone joined our team at work who was exactly like this. It never occurred to me to answer them, and then it dawned on me to just not answer DH either, to just leave him to it, to get there himself... It takes him forever, and i sometimes have to bite my tongue to stop myself answering. Sigh.

"What time do I start work tomorrow?".. seriously? How the fk would i know?!

DP in lounge holding baby: 'Babe, is the baby too hot do you think'

Me in kitchen cooking dinner: 'you're holding the baby and you want me to come in there to feel him to see if he's too hot?????'

I haven't read the thread because I already know that DH will have asked most of the stupid questions on it.

I live in Australia - here, guide dogs for the blind are called "seeing eye dogs" - so I frequently have to remind DH that I'm not his "thinking brain dog", as he seems to think I should be

A woman at work asked me on Friday "How do you read?" - she wasn't happy when I said I'd learned as a child and kept on asking me how do I read, how should she read, she wanted to read just like I do. She's in her fifties and claims to have been a nurse previously. Frightening that she's incapable of reading.

Mine likes to ask me where things are... from 5 years ago.
He'll come to me asking me about a pile of screws he put on the side (5 years ago, when he unscrewed them) so that he can now finally fix the thing he set out to fix... 5 years ago.

They're next to my red velvet headscarf, crystal ball, tarot cards, and 'Madame Gizmo' sign- the screws, the nuts, the bolts, the spare kitchen paint, the broken bits of porcelain belonging to that thing of yours that was already broken when we met, all of it, it's all there next to my fortune teller's kit.

Then I get to hear the whole saga of the screws he put down years ago and how I chucked them in the bin, even though I didn't chuck them in the bin. He never loses anything. It's me, chucking it all in the bin, eating it, shoving screws up my nostrils, chucking them in the wash on a hot cycle. It's me apparently... or the dog.

I have no memory of ever seeing these screws... or the rest.

My dh has an active brain as we go to bed so he asks me stupid or theoretical questions when I'm about to doze off and because he doesn't take his phone to bed he can't just google it.

DH last night: "have we any chocolate in the house?"
Me: "Nope"
DH: "but I feel like some chocolate"
Me: "you could go to the shop and get some"
DH (sad): "no, it's too late".

DH this morning: "I have to go to the shop and get coffee"

DH this afternoon: "Have we got any chocolate in the house?"
Me: "Nope. Did you not get any when you went to the shop this morning to get coffee?"
DH: "No, I thought you might have some"

Well if I didn't have any last night, and you're the only fecker who has been to the shop today, then why in the name of holy would you think that I had managed to somehow squirrel fecking chocolate into the house, when you HAD BEEN TO THE SHOP and could have bought your own?!

Constant battle.

haha yes not knowing or being able to find anything if it involves movement of things or searching in anyway