To think people who post incessant updates must be very miserable?

[namechangemaestro]

Specifically "instastories" - I have two friends who post on their instagram stories CONSTANTLY, to the point where I don't know how they're not cringing themselves!

One of them it is her son who is 2 - every half an hour, him eating, reading, playing, sleeping! It's not anything even particularly significant or funny, just a camera pointed at whatever mundane activity he's doing at the time.

The other it's just whatever she's doing - on a night out again it must be every half hour or so, people dancing, drinks, food, more dancing, a selfie, the taxi ride home, getting into bed...

I'm not slating social media as such. And yes I know I could unfollow them or block them or whatever, but it's more a fascination that I just find so... Odd!!

I don't understand how anyone can be in the moment and truly enjoying themselves and be constantly updating social media?

Am I wrong? If you're someone who posts that much (be honest!), why??

Photos document memories.
Some people have shockingly bad memories.
Social media is a good storage tool for photos - as long as it isn't public.

They are vain and arrogant in the extreme. I have no idea how anyone finds the time! I can barely get time to sort through my emails once a day. Whatever happened to modesty and subtlety? The self congratulation and smugness is vile.

arsenal I see that too! Endless pics if the baby with captions "love my baby girl" or "sitting up at 3 months, clever girl" (baby propped up on pillow)
The worst for me is normal looking middle aged women (like me) post a pic of their face and get hundreds of "stunning" "gorgeous" "beautiful" comments!
Really??

I am always smiling to myself when the same few people take pictures for fb etc and have mostly the same staged background in every picture.

One of my friends admits to doing this, said the house can be upside down and in chaos but she will take a picture for example of the dc with a spotless background or showing something off in the background.
It baffles me why some people live their lives like this.

One of my fb friends last week announced her marriage separation to the world on Saturday and by Sunday he was back there and everything was hunky dory, she deleted the original post and looks pretty silly to be honest.
Loads of sympathy though

This is why I stopped using social media (except for work related purposes) - because it's mostly insignificant, irrelevant, attention seeking bilge and once you don't have access to it any more, you miss out on exactly ZERO. You know what someone actually had to do the other day? They had to speak to me face to face to invite me to something because I wasn't aware of the SM invitation. That actually felt really nice!

Anyway to answer your original question - I agree that people constantly thinking of what they can post next, or taking a photo with the sole purpose of it being uploaded to social media are missing out on real life. I used to do it, and I'm glad I don't have that thought process any more - going out and constantly thinking about what to post. It's liberating.

I am always amused by these "friends" who see posts that make them realise someone they know may be lonely, depressed, insecure. Then react not by reach I out but by posting elsewhere for validation of their feelings of disgust and horror.

That's how social media works though, it feeds off people's insecurities and need for validation all the time, like a drug - how many likes will I get this time? How much attention will I get now? And repeat, after the likes have died down on the last post.

Each to their own but I don’t know why anybody wants to post a running commentary of life of posts photos everyday. Or why people at dinner spend their entire times on their phones writing on social media that they are out having dinner.

@Dragonmummy1418 the OP was referring to Instagram stories, i.e. Only last for 24 hours before they are deleted. So these people incessantly posting aren't doing it for the memories.

Each to their own really. When it comes to baby/child stuff though you don't know why they're sharing. I don't post all the time but when I do I'm sure lots of people would find it boring as it's just pics and videos of my children but I do it so that my mum, husband and other family members (who all live far away) can see how they're growing and what we're doing. People don't necessarily want to be sent pictures all the time or videos take up memory so this is a quick and easy way to keep people up to date with each other. You don't have to watch them! I only watch a handful of people I follow.

Anyway to answer your original question - I agree that people constantly thinking of what they can post next, or taking a photo with the sole purpose of it being uploaded to social media are missing out on real life. I used to do it, and I'm glad I don't have that thought process any more - going out and constantly thinking about what to post. It's liberating.

This^

I fell into that trap with Instagram etc
Was exhausting

I actually just live my life now I've come off social media..
So liberating

In the early days of Facebook I posted similarly... usually just once a day though, nowadays I’m very rarely on FB so when the “memories to look back on” crop up, I physically cringe at my inanity “yummy lunch today”, “Airy is being productive/ procrastinating”, “love my bed” 🙈🤦‍♀️😄

Ditto! I now only post on average every couple of weeks, and only then if I've got something reasonably interesting to share!

It's hard to imagine what drives the urge - if I'm having a great time I don't look at my phone at all. Which is why I find it hard to imagine they're having a good time, but I could be wrong.

I have a FB friend who checks into the dentist/GP etc on a frighteningly regular basis.

Cue “are you ok hun?” messages.

Reply is always. “Yeah, it’s nothing.”

She also checks into Tesco.

I think studies have found that photographing an event makes our memory of it weaker; we know the event is recorded so we don't put the same mental effort into laying down memory patterns (or somesuch). So actually, those people who insist on documenting everything via pictures and videos on social media are doing the opposite of 'making memories'.

I have been saying that for years now. Go yo any live music event and it's a sea of phones clicking away or recording. I just want to shout put the phone down - watch, listen and enjoy the moment.

I have a friend who does this. 8-10 pictures a day on instagram plus an hourly update of her Instagram stories. Things like what she’s having for breakfast, going to the gym, walking the dogs, her new eyeshadow...
She’s recently split from her husband, who she’d been with since she was 16 (now mid 30’s), is lonely and is seeking validation. She’s well aware of this. I don’t want to unfollow her as she’s a good friend but gosh it’s tedious (I’m aware how awful that makes me sound).
When we go out together she’s constantly trying to take pictures to update her Instagram. I just want to enjoy my evening, not pose for photos!

@breastfeedingdrivingmecrazy
Oh ok, didn't know that! 😮

I post a lot of photos on FB but also have under 40 friends and they are all relatives and close friends, people I totally trust.

I don't understand why people share a lot of photos but I also don't judge them and just ignore it, it doesn't affect me.

I’m quite aware I update Facebook quite often. Not every day but maybe a few times a week some weeks (others none at all). It’s usually about the kids or things we’ve done together. There’s often a photo. It’s just something I do and enjoy sharing. It’s no more than that really. I sure as hell don’t care what others think about it. If they’re worried about me because they think I might be sad/lonely/insecure then they can come and spend time with me and see if that’s true rather than rely on a snapshot on SM

DiddimusStench
A few times a week is very different than every half hour sharing a 30 second clip of your child walking into the kitchen, or you lying in bed with a rabbit filter on though!

Maybe you thought I was exaggerating when I said every half hour. I wasn't!

I do it when I'm feeling socially anxious, I must admit.

I'm off Facebook at the moment to stop myself until I feel better!

But not to the extent of your friend - once a day at worst!

Yes the friend I mentioned above has already posted 6 story updates this morning

I admit I thought you were exaggerating! And I don’t get the snapchat filters. People in their 30s/40s with bunny ears...ick. That is excessive but surely you still have the option to unfollow/block/delete?

I do think the excessive posting thing is like an addiction -have a friend who cannot seem to enjoy anything without photographing it for FB.
I have stepped back from social media and am a lot happier as a result, I actually enjoy events etc like I used to years ago now I don’t photograph them (except say one for personal record sometimes).

I’ve no idea why people do put their life on social media, perhaps some people need the affirmations, some showing off, some lonely, perhaps lots of reasons but best not to bother looking.