Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny and maternity leave

63 replies

JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:26

AIBU - Nanny has been in my family’s employment for two years. One boy aged 2. New baby on ththe way. We don’t feel we can justify paying our nanny for the year I plan to go on mat leave and I have family who can help out for free.

AIBU to ask Nanny to work one day a week as a retainer until the year is up? Obviously she would be free to find work in this time.

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 31/05/2018 21:41

But surely she can find a job for a year or something while I don’t need her?

Possibly. But if you want her on retainer for that "year or something", then you need to pay her her salary. If you no longer wish to pay her salary, then you need to make her redundant and allow her to find alternative employment.

Think about it from her point of view for just a minute?

NataliaOsipova · 31/05/2018 21:43

Cross post....sorry!

They are being cheeky and selfish. Very much so. Honestly? Walk away and find another job with people who have more respect for you as a professional.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 31/05/2018 21:43

Oh a reverse? Great.

londonrach · 31/05/2018 21:43

Op....its simple nanny will find another full time job and want make her leave them to return to you. Yabu.

Original poster
JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:44

@GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat apologies but I wasn’t sure I’d get the same response if I posted as the Nanny.

OP posts:
Ithinkididmagic · 31/05/2018 21:45

How would you like it if your boss said we are paying you for one day per week instead of five? Just for ten months. Then you can come back full time.

AllMYSmellySocks · 31/05/2018 21:45

I do think what they're doing is hurtful and unfair since they gave you the impression this was a long term job. I don't see how one day a week is any kind of retainer. Obviously you'd need to find other work anyway and trying to find a 4 days a week job is going to be much more difficult.

LML83 · 31/05/2018 21:46

I understand your frustration and disappointment.

It is a compliment they want you to stay. But it's not an option that would work for most people.

End on good terms, if you don't enjoy your next job you might get the chance to go back.

Ithinkididmagic · 31/05/2018 21:46

Oh I see it’s a reverse.
They sound like awful people if they can do this to you.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 31/05/2018 21:46

No you’re right but the problem now is 50% of the posters will only read the op and the whole thread turns messy.

TheIsland · 31/05/2018 21:46

Maybe post a thread that isn’t a reverse and you’ll get some replies which are helpful to you rather than confirming what you (already?) think of your boss?

Kittykatmacbill · 31/05/2018 21:46

You can’t do that! Offer to her Pay to work two days a week (trust me you will want the help) and be 1000% flexible on which days so she can find another job to pay her bills. Or give her notice.

Original poster
JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:46

Yeah it sucks And to be fair to them, they are prepared for the possibility of loosing me but it still sucks

OP posts:
Notveryladylike · 31/05/2018 21:47

😂 you could try but I highly doubt she will accept 1 day a week payment as a retainer.

Original poster
JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:48

There not awful people, if they were I wouldn’t have a dilemma. They are kind and generous people but I they are being unrealistic and a tiny bit selfish.

OP posts:
flowery · 31/05/2018 21:48

I don’t think they are being “cheeky and selfish” to offer that as an option. If you don’t want to do that, just say no thank you you’d rather take redundancy pay and seek permanent employment elsewhere.

Glumglowworm · 31/05/2018 21:50

YABU for posting a reverse Biscuit

Original poster
JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:50

Thanks for the replies lost to think about. I’m going to ask for the thread to be deleted now.

OP posts:
Original poster
JellyBears · 31/05/2018 21:50

@Glumglowworm Biscuit

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 31/05/2018 21:50

It is very cheeky however, you are at perfect liberty to say no.

As a PP said, they have lost nothing by asking as you may be ablet o find a PT position to fit in with it (especially with more people working compressed hours these days) but that doesnt mean that you have to accept.

My worry is that despite you being entitled to redundancy pay, they will find excuses to not give it to you.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 31/05/2018 21:51

Theres a nanny on here currently out in Saudi on £6k per month - get yourself a great new job and two fingers to the cheeky twats.

Notveryladylike · 31/05/2018 21:52

Oh didn't read to the end 😂. I am a childminder and I wouldn't accept this as a "retainer".
In my experience even the lovely parents take the piss sometimes.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 31/05/2018 21:53

Not unreasonable to sit down and have a conversation, presenting this as an option, and discussing what would happen should she accept/not accept, or present other terms. Be prepared for the offer to be turned down if it isn't what she wants. It may work, but probably not. I had one nanny job let me go just before 2 years, when baby 4 came along (I suspect timed to avoid redundancy pay, the letting go not baby). 6 months later when the mum was offered a new job they hired me back, which was very tough as I'd been in a part time position with a wonderful family but I needed the full time. Sometimes it works, but needs to start with a conversation.

Oh and nannying, while the same as most jobs in wanting professional terms and respect, also has the added emotional element of caring for a child all day, seeing them grow up, so just finding a job for a year can be very difficult. Parents want a nanny they can rely on long term, to build a relationship, unless it's a rare situation with a year long temp job it'd be very hard.

mimibunz · 31/05/2018 21:54

Entitled much?

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 31/05/2018 21:54

oh I spent time writing a redundant reply.... got to hate reverse posts wasting time