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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To withdraw our offee

80 replies

MigraineMonday · 31/05/2018 20:49

I’ve namechanged for this, as it expecting a right flaming.

8 months ago we made an offer on a property which was accepted. WIBU to withdraw it now?

Reasons for:

  • house prices have fallen massively in our area. The offer is now 40K over the value on Zoopla and much higher than other similar properties. We’re putting every last penny of our savings in and really can’t afford for the market to fall and end up paying well over the odds.

It’s taken so long to complete due to the chain. My DH has moved jobs in this time. The new property will now make his commute awful, although the commute to his old office was fine.

DB is a lawyer and is strongly advising us to pull out because of the above.

Reasons against:
Feel like the absolute worst person in the world pulling out and breaking the chain.

OP posts:
FermatsTheorem · 31/05/2018 21:26

Well, I'm a sufficiently old gimmer that I was actually living and working in London at the time of the last crash in the early nineties, so I do not blame anyone wanting to avoid negative equity. I think that previous poster got a drubbing because she was thinking of trying to gazunder rather than simply pull out. Pulling out is unpleasant for the people on the receiving end, but a perfectly legitimate thing to do. Gazundering is utterly shitty.

(Incidentally, I see no signs in the economy at the moment that we are heading for a catastrophic crash of that sort of magnitude at the moment, but you do get a lot of younger posters on here who do not know about the early 90s and don't realise that it's possible for house prices to drop so far that your house is worth considerably less than your mortgage - it's a very, very scary scenario).

firsttimer12345 · 31/05/2018 21:28

Yes, I do understand. If you moved and the commute was too much or the house just didn't work for you, it would be so difficult and expensive to move again.

Unfortunately, our buyer's buyer didn't even really have a reason that has been passed on to us. Maybe that's why it's hit me so hard, because we don't understand why.

I think you should probably do it ASAP so everyone knows where they stand. Would you stay in your current house?

AnyFucker · 31/05/2018 21:28

Very different tone to this one

inabeautifulplace · 31/05/2018 21:30

Don't think you're unreasonable in those circumstances. Yes it is pretty rubbish but it's one of the risks of being in a chain - hence why no chain is advertised as a massive positive.

What are you thinking now though? Looking for somewhere else or waiting to see what happens? Plenty of economic uncertainty around currently and that's not changing any time soon.

WalkingToMordor · 31/05/2018 21:30

To give you an idea of how hopeless Zoopla is, I just checked my road. Zoopla has my house (which is practically falling down around my ears) at only £5,000 less than my next door neighbour whose house is fully modernised and has a loft conversion and a side extension! Bonkers!

Nonetheless, the house no longer suits your requirements so you should pull out even if that will be horrible for the rest of the chain.

MigraineMonday · 31/05/2018 21:30

thanks everyone, I know the responses are split but it’s been very helpful to just type out my concerns and get feedback.

OP posts:
SingingTunelessly · 31/05/2018 21:33

Buy a house that could be your family home. Or don’t and stay wherever you are living. Your choice. House prices will rise and fall as they have done for time immorial. It’s the way it has always been and always will be. Unless you’re a HPC’er. In which case it’s doom all the way. 😄

BeverlyStyleMama · 31/05/2018 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueJava · 31/05/2018 21:35

It seems your situation has changed a bit in the 8 months you have waited - your husband has been told he may no longer have a job and has got another but the commute isn't so great from the potential new place. To me this seems a reasonable reason to pull out - it's horrible and unfortunate but you can't go ahead with a house which doesn't suit your needs anymore.

Murane · 31/05/2018 21:35

You'd spend £40k just because you feel guilty and don't want to upset complete strangers? Just pull out if it's no longer suitable for you. It's tough for everyone else, you have to put yourself first.

heateallthebuns · 31/05/2018 21:41

I would pull out, the house doesn't work for you anymore. You can't spend extra £40k for a house in the wrong location.

PandaPieForTea · 31/05/2018 21:41

Buyers pulling out is one of the causes of prices dropping!

But it isn’t the OP’s responsibility to continue with a poor purchase to avoid the impact on house prices.

DailyMailFail101 · 31/05/2018 21:42

It would be unreasonable but I WOULD do it, you shouldn’t buy a house because you feel guilt. Do it now though, the sooner you pull out the better for everybody involved, don’t let it drag on any further.

Shiftymake · 31/05/2018 21:44

I think considering your circumstance and the length of exchange, life has changed that much for you that you should do the right thing for your family. You do not seem any closer to exchanging and you are looking for a home that works for your family not what works for the rest of the chain. Go about this with your head rather then your heart, but I would be honest with the chain that circumstances have changed for you and the current house is no longer suitable for your family due to a job relocation. It is terrible but life isn't always fair, change of circumstances do happen and these things can't always be helped.

BeverlyStyleMama · 31/05/2018 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notthatwomanagain · 31/05/2018 21:51

Pull out
Look nearer your DHs new job (assuming his job is now stable)
Don’t feel guilt
She happens
It has happened to many of us and it’s one of the negatives of house buying but there it is

AlpacaLypse · 31/05/2018 21:56

Your family is more important than The Chain. I've lived through two of these house-price crash dramas now. It always comes out in the wash eventually. The people who suffer are those who panic (or go bankrupt), have to sell, rebuy and end up losing 40-60% equity. Harsh but true. Do what is best for YOU and your children.

takeoffyourpantsandjacket · 31/05/2018 21:57

Buying a house is pretty much the biggest financial thing you can do, so it'd be best not to fuck it up. So yeah, whatever, do what's right for you rather than other people. 8 months is a piss take anyway.

CoffeeOrSleep · 31/05/2018 21:57

This is no longer the right house for you.

It's ok to pull out of the sale. It's gone on for so long you are no longer in the same position.

On the bright side, you could have had a quick sale go though, and now your DH would be stuck with a shit commute for years until you could justify moving again!

Fortheloveofscience · 31/05/2018 22:01

If you pull out will you lose your buyer? If so and you need to go back on the market you’re playing a very risky game - there’s a fair chance that any offer you accept would be lower. However, the job thing is problematic (and bizarre - why did he take a job that’s a PITA to get to from where he’s expecting to live).

Aridane · 31/05/2018 22:07

Ha - yet the Croydon poster was told she was the cuntiest of all the cunts for pulling out!

babydreamer1 · 31/05/2018 22:08

What means more to you £40k or 'doing the right thing'. Firstly I'd get it revalued, if there is a drop as you say, but you still want it you can offer this price and it's up to them to accept or decline. It's a market, things change and don't always work out. That said, if it no longer suits your personal circumstance, pull out. Why would you buy a house you don't want to live in? You haven't exchanged, it's been 8 months, I don't think you would be massively unreasonable.

Hoopaloop · 31/05/2018 22:10

Feel fantastic about costing every other person in the chain thousands of pounds in expenses.

BewareOfDragons · 31/05/2018 22:11

I would pull out under the circumstances if contracts haven't been exchanged.

Yes, it sucks, but life happens.

peachgreen · 31/05/2018 22:27

So weird how totally different in tone the replies have been to this than the previous thread!

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