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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or childish

33 replies

NameChangedForThisQ · 31/05/2018 19:45

Our friends' car died and they're yet to get a replacement. They invited us to a christening party on Sunday which we drove them to and we all enjoyed.

They asked if we would drive them 3 hour round trip to large Costco and we agreed. I am pregnant and didn't feel well on the day. We postponed for an hour. By the time it was time to leave I felt so awful I was crying but it was too late to cancel.

So I put on a brave face and off we went. I need to be there as DP on a provisional licence. We were less cheerful than usual. They asked us if we didn't want to go. We said we're very tired but we promised to help you out and it's fine. We had the music on instead of chatting.

They then seemed to get in a mood. They were not friendly to us and did not say thank you. Neither did they ask how I was feeling or show that they appreciated our effort in any way.

The next day she puts an indirect status on FB about people being moody.

AIBU to think that we went out of our way and their expecting us to entertain them as well as giving them a lift is OTT?

Well aware this all sounds quite childish. However I am a reforming people pleaser and have trouble with boundaries at times.

OP posts:
Empoweredwomenempowerwomem · 31/05/2018 19:48

I would’ve told them I was too poorly to go.
They’re being ungrateful dicks
FWIW if one of them has full uk lisence for 3+ years you don’t need to go in car.
Hope you’re feeling better

steff13 · 31/05/2018 19:53

They were being ungrateful, and a three-hour round trip for a non-emergency is a pretty big ask, IMO.

However, you keep saying "we" in your post; if you didn't want to cancel could your husband/partner have taken them and let you rest? Personally, I would have canceled, but if you didn't want to, it doesn't seem like it was necessary for both of you to go.

Letmesuckyourblood · 31/05/2018 19:53

CF putting a status like that on FB! You've gone out your way to help them and they act like that. I'd say to her that you weren't feeling well not that she even cared to ask!!

Returnofthesmileybar · 31/05/2018 19:54

I think yabu but I'll probably be in the minority, you should have cancelled not been a martyr, they asked you if you wanted to cancel but you didn't and frankly the round trip sounds awkward as fuck and rude.

Yanbu about the FB status though, pa FB status is twattish

Letmesuckyourblood · 31/05/2018 19:55

Steff... she had to go as her partner only has a provisional license so she needed to be in the car with him

autumndreaming · 31/05/2018 19:58

Comment on her status saying 'You know what i hate more? People who are ungrateful'

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 31/05/2018 19:58

OOH I would definitely be commenting under that status!

Poptart4 · 31/05/2018 19:59

If you were feeling so bad then you should have cancelled instead of carrying on and creating an atmosphere.

Yes you were doing them a favour but I'd rather someone cancelled or said no than agree and make me feel uncomfortable trapped in a car for 3hrs.

FatherMackenzie · 31/05/2018 19:59

Hmmmm well, since they didn’t know you were unwell, I guess it might have been a bit strange when you didn’t want to talk to them. But she comes out of the whole thing worse due to the PA fb post. THAT is childish.

KarinVogel · 31/05/2018 20:00

If they asked you if you didnt want to go at the start of the outing it must have been very obvious to them that you were in a mood. Then no chat but just the radio playing in the car for an excruciating 90 minutes each way.

No wonder they didnt say thank you .It must have been a very uncomfortable journey and a waste of everyones time. Next time either say at the outset you dont want to go or force yourself to cheer up.I cant be doing with moody fuckers who put a dampner on everyones day.

steff13 · 31/05/2018 20:01

Steff... she had to go as her partner only has a provisional license so she needed to be in the car with him

Oh, I missed that. Also, I don't know what a provisional license is. Is it like a learner's permit?

YouTheCat · 31/05/2018 20:02

Have they offered any money for fuel? Or are they complete twats?

Original poster
NameChangedForThisQ · 31/05/2018 20:02

I take your point but not really a waste of everyone's time because they got the stuff they needed from Costco...?

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangedForThisQ · 31/05/2018 20:02

Yep they paid for the fuel.

OP posts:
Fuckwithnosensesauce · 31/05/2018 20:07

I can’t stand people grudgingly doing me a favour! I’d rather they didn’t bother tbh.

MadMags · 31/05/2018 20:09

Sounds like you were both very rude, tbh, and made them feel uncomfortable. But it’s done now.

The FB thing is childish.

pinkhorse · 31/05/2018 20:09

You should have cancelled. You were pretty obvious you didn't want to be there and then created an atmosphere which must have been uncomfortable for everyone there.

Original poster
NameChangedForThisQ · 31/05/2018 20:18

Hmmm OK. Seems to be a 50 50 mix. Doesn't really help my confusion Grin

OP posts:
Mookie81 · 31/05/2018 20:28

I could be feeling right as rain and I still wouldn't drive anyone 3 hours to and from bloody Costco.
Why would you agree?
It annoys me when people make mugs of themselves then complain about being mugged off. She's petty with her FB, but you shouldn't have gone if you felt ill. If that means they don't get to go then tough titty.

Original poster
NameChangedForThisQ · 31/05/2018 20:38

Yeah I'm defo going to take from this that if I don't feel well enough then I just won't.

But what should I do re the 'friendship' now? She hasn't contacted me since. Just leave it?

OP posts:
TheBigFatMermaid · 31/05/2018 20:39

If they have a car, then at least one of them can drive, so one of them could have sat with your DH, surely?

FatherMackenzie · 31/05/2018 20:41

I’d probably tell her, (not on fucking fb), that you were not in the best of moods because you were feeling poorly, but put on a brave face because you didn’t want to let her down. It’s the truth after all and I doubt she could be offended by it.

Sparkletastic · 31/05/2018 20:42

'I'm sorry that you felt I was moody on the car journey. I was feeling ill and should have cancelled but didn't want to let you down. My mistake I realise now.'

ichifanny · 31/05/2018 20:44

Crying before going and being moody in he car and subjecting then to an awkward silent car journey is pretty shit . Next time if you don’t want to do something just say no , I can’t stand moody people .

MadMags · 31/05/2018 20:44

I’d apologise for my rude behaviour.

Imagine how awkward you made them both feel with the pair of you sulking!