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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to find this a bit pathetic

48 replies

Mummywithatummy · 31/05/2018 15:46

To not drip feed, some back story; I have been at this job 5 months. It is my first job since being made redundant on mat leave last year. The team, whilst polite,
are very quiet. The guy who sits opposite me, at every opportunity (whilst people are away from their desks) tells me how no-one in my role has ever lasted more than 12 months, and are usually sacked for no apparent reason. Also how the managers are "snakes". etc etc etc. I, possibly stupidly, have bought into this and am panicking daily that I am going to loose my job. He generally is the only one who talks to me, offers me cakes/teas etc etc, he occassionaly talks to another girl to the other girl opposite him, other than that, none of the team talk. Fine, I am here to work really.

Two weeks ago I made a massive slip up at work where a client double ordered furniture through two suppliers. It is my job to check things like this from happening. When I realized, it was too late, and one of the suppliers have been left with some made to order furniture, and therefore out of pocket. Said colleague, who works more reguarly with the furniture supplier who lost out, was really loudly saying to me "what are you going to do about it! you need to ring them!" etc etc. The office is so quiet so everyone could hear, I literally was so embarrased I wanted to cry. However, my managers were really understanding saying "these things happen" etc. In reality it isn't a vast some of money they are missing, and it might be resold to another client this year.

Whilst I am mortified about the error, since it happened, said colleague is blatantly ignoring me in the office, offering everyone else in the small team cakes/teas/talking to that other girl all day long. I dont know whether I should bring it up and apologise to him, or whether this is a bit pathetic. I feel like I am at school, and have never worked somewhere that has this type of environment! He seems to be making it more and more obvious and the other colleagues will sure have picked up on this by now. HELP!

OP posts:
AnneProtheroe · 31/05/2018 15:55

Your managers have been understanding - listen to them, not your colleague who is deliberately trying to wind you up.

AnneProtheroe · 31/05/2018 15:57

Definitely don't apologise to your colleague, that will encourage his behaviour. The fact that he makes snide comments when there's no one else around to hear means that it's probably not true, anyway.

e1y1 · 31/05/2018 15:58

He sounds like the biggest shit stirrer going and I would be keeping WEEL clear.

Management may or may not be snakeds, people in your role may or may not have been sacked for “no apparent reason”.

But the biggest snake of all is the one who was previously offering you cakes and biscuits and will stab you in the back when he first gets chance.

Stay away, tell him nothing and deal with him only when you have to and STRICTLY for work.

e1y1 · 31/05/2018 15:58

WEEL?

WELL!!

e1y1 · 31/05/2018 16:00

Oh and yes, do NOT apologise. Ever.

vampirethriller · 31/05/2018 16:04

Ignore him, sounds like he's annoyed that management weren't angry! Which is indeed pathetic. Just have nothing more to do with him.

Hidingtonothing · 31/05/2018 16:05

It's your colleague with the problem OP, not you (or management from what you've said). Steer well clear of him and I suspect you'll be fine, he's a shitstirrer Flowers

Lacucuracha · 31/05/2018 16:07

Why would you apologise to him?

He sounds like a sly, manipulative weasel.

OP, don't trust him, tell him nothing important, keep everything work related.

The fact that your managers were understanding tells you that they like you, they value you and they trust you.

Please don't let this weasel erode your confidence.

You don't need his trouble making and his cakes.

SteppingOnLegos · 31/05/2018 16:12

Oh my goodness he sounds like a prize tool.

Pollaidh · 31/05/2018 16:14

Sounds like your colleague likes making drama. Don't trust him, don't tell him anything important/personal. Keep it strictly business. Maybe he wanted your job and got passed over for promotion or something.

Everyone makes mistakes. Sounds like yours wasn't too bad. Don't do it again obviously, but try to not worry.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 31/05/2018 16:17

Go and talk to your managers. Explain what dickhead has been saying about people being fired without cause & how he’s gone on & on about your mistake. He’s quite possibly already on a warning for being a complete tool.

Angelil · 31/05/2018 16:22

Are you able to move your desk/sit elsewhere in the office? This person sounds awful.

zzzzz · 31/05/2018 16:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cliveybaby · 31/05/2018 16:26

Why would you apologise to him? Is he your boss? Did you inconvenience him?
If not, ignore him!

MatildaTheCat · 31/05/2018 16:31

Have a chat with your manager. Nobody should make you feel uncomfortable at work. I suspect nobody has been fired, they’ve all left because they can’t stand working with him.

tillytrotter1 · 31/05/2018 16:40

Buy your own cakes and hand them round, skipping the dickhead.
Oh no, buy them and very ostentatiously offer them to him first, when everyone's there, thanking him for his unrelenting support. He'll want to curl up and die from embarrassment, but remember, you need an audience, the bigger the better.

Gemini69 · 31/05/2018 16:41

I think you just found the 'real reason' why so many people leave OP ..
HIM flowers]

Mummywithatummy · 31/05/2018 16:41

Thanks everyone for the replies they have made me feel a lot better. Never had any problems at work before so feel like this is a bit overwhelming.
I dont know whether to just keep trying to rise above it, or whether to just cut my loses and job hunt as i cant help but panic they will sack me anyway at the end of the year now.

the rest of my team, whilst quiet, are all really nice and polite, and its really decent pay compared to other local jobs.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 31/05/2018 16:41
Flowers
Mummywithatummy · 31/05/2018 16:42

Lmao desperately trying to remember what cake flavors he said he hates

OP posts:
Wildlingofthewest · 31/05/2018 16:45

He sounds like a toad
You have nothing to apologise to him for. At all. Don’t give that another thought.
Maybe try an strike up a bit of conversation with some of the others? I couldn’t bare to work in an environment where no one really speaks!!

e1y1 · 31/05/2018 16:46

Why would they get rid of you?

You don’t even know if other people have been gotten rid of. Honestly he just sounds a vindictive dick.

Stick at it, and work hard, managers always know whose a liability and it ain’t you, it’s him.

e1y1 · 31/05/2018 16:46

*who is, not whose

OrangeAztec · 31/05/2018 16:46

Why would you apologise to him? You made a mistake (everyone does occasionally) and your managers have been understanding. The world isn't going to stop turning. He sounds odd anyway, trying to scare you about being sacked etc. I'd welcome him distancing himself- don't be all subservient trying to be friends with him he sounds like a troublemaker.

ToadOfSadness · 31/05/2018 16:48

He is probably the reason that previous people haven't lasted, if that is true, a 2 faced troublemaker. Don't be intimidated by him, do your job and ignore or report him if appropriate.

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