Texting? What levels acceptable?

[justwishiwasnormal]

So me and my bf don't live together. We have been together a year and see each other twice a week usually depending on work and commitments with our Children. We text quite a bit throughout the day. We met online and have always done this. We always text first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all throughout the day usually I estimate probably about 50 messages. So how much does everyone else text in a relationship like mine? My BF made a comment the other day that I'm quite needy with texting (I do need a lot of contact tbf) but the more I think about it the more I realise he texts and initiates just as much as me!!

Sounds like a lot, Do you talk on the phone too on days you dont see each other?

I don’t think there’s an “acceptable” level, as long as you’re both comfy with it.

Some people are texters, while others prefer a phone call.
My best friend and I usually send each other 20-30 whatsapp messages throughout the day about mindless nonsense. She doesn’t really “do” phone calls, unless they’re urgent and to the point.

If he texts (and initiates) as much as you then he has a cheek to call you needy.

Together 2 years, see eachother 3 times a week. Probably exchange between 10 and 20 texts per day on the days we don’t see eachother.

50 seems like a lot to me. Aren't you too busy at work to text that much?!

26 texts today between my husband and myself. Some days it might be 1 or 2 though. More from me then him because I'm on maternity leave and a family member is here driving me a bit mad.

50 messages a day?! Jeez do neither of you have jobs?

Oh oops I re-read your question and I don't have a relationship like yours so guess I shouldn't have answered.

50 a day?? How do you have time for that? I’d find that a real pain in the arse having to stop working/eating/whatever all the time go answer texts.

Yes we both work and have busy lives. 50 messages between us really isn't much. I think it spoke bad more than it actually is. You can easily reach 10 texts in a quick 5 minute conversation. We do speak on the phone sometimes but certain shift patterns make it difficult some weeks as he tends to be going to bed/ going to work when I'm getting home from work.

DH works away all week, he's home at weekends. Today we have text a lot, just over 20 messages but that has been about DS, the car, his father and work.

Most days it's a couple of messages checking the other is ok so unless there is anything significant there isn't a lot of contact. I would think 50 is a lot, if there was that much I had to say I'd just call in the evening.

We don't stop work etc. There are big gaps between messages often. We just answer when we get to the messages.

That's still a bonkers amount of time every day. I can't believe you actually have time to do a full time job and have a life too.

I thinks a ridiculous amount but I'm old and married!

I really didn't think it was OTT as we still are both able to function perfectly well in our day to day loves but maybe I should try and tone it down a bit.

I live with my OH and we probably FB message 10-15 times a day when I'm here - just nonsense links or stupid pictures or "what shall we have for tea?", but when I'm working away it's a lot more.

For those asking how you have the time, it's not like "hi, how are you, what have you been doing, question/statement etc", big long paraglahs that require detailed responses, it might be more like:

Havd you seen this?
hahaha yes, amazing
An hour later
just did that deal at work!
ahhhh well done, I'm proud of you

It takes all of 5 seconds to read and respond, it's not a big time issue. I think this is a generational or age thing to be honest!

Dh and I are Middle Aged and married and live together. Just checked number of messages we’ve sent today between us and we’ve sent 94 today. We send a lot of messages - today not unusual by any means

We are same that most are just one liners. Given that we don't live together and don't always speak on the phone there are some longer messages, but only a few a day.

But he thinks it's too much!

On average, me and a male friend send around 300 a day. That’s with me having a job where my phone must be switched off while I’m working.
50 is not unreasonable!

My DH works away we definitely send more that 50 texts a day! He works long hours, some days he's busier than others so not so chatty until he's finished.

We have 3 dcs (only dc3 is his) and he sores on them wants to know how they have been how I have been etc.

If he's away for 5 days we'll FaceTime one and calls once, more if needed. If he's away 12days there's more calls/FaceTime in the second week.

We've always communicated this way even when he wasn't working away. We're happy with it and that's what matters!!

He did say it's too much but he initiates most days and if I don't text back after a number of hours will send a kiss emoji or something which I always interpret to mean that he wants me to reply. I think that he doesn't like the idea of using his phone so much (in general by just to text me) but then he does actually like the level of contact we have.

Totally depends on the type of person. I don’t like phonecalls and my DP has learnt to accept that so we text instead. We live together now so text a bit less but when we didn’t, we text a similar amount to you. We both work FT but we would text a lot at night about our days. He would prefer phonecalls but I find them restrictive . I know you can move around whilst chatting on the phone but I struggle to multitask while holding down a phone call. I like the fact a text can be put down till you’re ready to reply.

Are you texting or using WhatsApp? With WhatsApp most people seem to send lots of shorter messages rather than a wall of text like with traditional text messaging.
WhatsApp exchange yesterday with my person was 30 messages long, most of it double texts not single message wait for reply send another one if that makes sense.
Other conversations we've had I would imagine would be in the hundreds if counted, over an hour or two of conversation in an afternoon. Long distance/time difference means we never see each other at the moment.
The person I was seeing before with a similar set up to you I guess 50 WhatsApp a day would be average on days we didn't see each other.
So to answer your question it doesn't sound that excessive to me if you're both happy with the level of contact.
I wouldn't like being called needy and would be initiating a lot less after a comment like that.

I text my DH about once a month; he texts me even less. I can’t imagine a time we ever sent me than 10 a day between us! Occasionally email though. I just wait until he gets home unless it’s urgent.

Seems like a lot to me.
Not in your position as I'm married with a child. But even when my then boyfriend and I were in a ldr, we didn't text that much.