Name changed as very outing.
Was round STBBIL and SIL's a few weeks ago (DFiance's brother and his wife) with MIL and other BIL where lots of wine was consumed. Me and SIL were chatting outside when BIL comes out and demands SIL comes inside to get their child a drink. BIL is someone who doesn't do a lot for his children, which SIL frequently moans to me about. In my drunken state, my mouth opened before my brain registered and said Maybe BIL should parent his own children.
now I do agree I should have just kept quiet here.
However, BIL retorts saying me and DFiance wouldn't know because we don't have children and it was my fault that I had a miscarriage last year. Cue lots of upset and me storming out with DFiance and his mum.
BIL messages me the following morning saying he is sorry we argued but he didn't say it was my fault I lost my baby and he would never say that. I replied two weeks later because I was upset that he was denying it and didn't want to say something else I regret. I replied saying I'm sorry as well and that we're all good.
Fast forward to now (3 weeks after the event), it's mine and DFiance's engagement meal. BIL and wife aren't coming because he says replying 2 weeks later isn't good enough and it's too little too late.other BIL agrees with him, although I don't know what version of events he has been told and he left before this happened.
Now I just really need some advice mumnetters :( I don't want there to be an on going rift between me and STBBIL. How do I rectify this? Do I message him and ask him to come? Apologise again? Yet I'm still hurt and angry that he said those things to me, but understand I shouldn't have said anything in the first place.
Aibu to still be pissed off? And AIBU to message him and try and move past this?