Would you tell someone else's child off...

[gruffaloschild1]

In a soft play.

We were in the "sensory" area which is for babies and toddlers. My 11 month old was playing with the sensory light and some kid aged about 8/9(?) barged over and whacked him across the head to push him out the way!

Obviously his parents weren't nearby so I don't know who they are to mention it to them. I told him "NO, do NOT do that"

Just wondering how you feel if someone told your child off while you weren't there?

I think it depends on the context and how bad the behaviour is/if it’s violent etc.

I once scolded another person’s child at a wedding, a group of us were chatting at the reception and a boisterous little boy (maybe 8-9?) was playing nearby with his little brother. Not sure where his parents were, assume across the room keeping an eye on him, but he was very sweet and kept asking us to watch a little dance move he was doing. We looked over and oohed and ahhed and said well done etc. He kept asking us repeatedly to watch him and eventually after the 5th or 6th time my friend said ‘oh that’s lovely, you’re very good! We’re just having a bit of a boring grown up chat now but thanks for showing us!’.

He didn’t seem to respond well to this, unluckily I was standing closest and he ended marching over and forcefully kicked the back legs of me and another friend!

I firmly told him he shouldn’t do that, and it wasn’t very nice to kick people as it hurts them. He stormed off. No sign of mum or dad!

Of course you can. If the parents are being too irresponsible to see what their child is doing then tough shit. Someone else will.

I was sat in our local pub garden recently with my husband. Our baby was asleep in the pram (we'd specifically gone for a walk to get him to sleep). There were a group of kids about 7/8 years old kicking a football with their parents getting pissed not really paying attention to them. The ball kept coming over and hitting the pram. After the third time of politely asking them to keep it away from the pram as the baby was sleeping I added some stern-ness to my voice but it still continued. So we got up and went home.

So in response to the OP, yes I would tell someone else's kid off if it was causing me a problem.

YANBU! DH was embarrassed when I asked a kid of about 10 to get down off of a 6ft high structure at the play park, it's not designed for climbing on and is very clearly sign posted as a baby park! 3 and under. There's a big kid play park within viewing distance a few feet away behind the fence.

There were several babies and tiny ones sitting underneath it in the sand and if he'd fallen on them he would have seriously hurt them. I was polite but firm.

If my dc was 10 and out of sight behaving dangerously like that I would want someone to tell them to stop!

Yes I would if the child was being destructive or in danger of hurting another child. My eldest daughter though told her friends 5 year old and 3 year old not to fold the spines of a book back in a bookshop because her friend wasn't watching them and was told off by her and told it was not her place to discipline her children. My response would have been she should have been watching them but her lax parenting also involves letting her children scream at the top of their voices in a restaurant and when suggested she try and find something to occupy them because they were annoying other diners she said what do people expect when they come to a family friendly restaurant. Some people are just so inconsiderate and their kids end up growing up as spoilt brats.

Damn right i would and i would be more than happy for others to tell off my dc

If the parents are incapable of disciplining and/or socialising their child and it affects me or mine, I will step in.
If parents turn up and don't like it, I'll tell them too.

You did the right thing op.

He needed telling off.

To be honest, I think every brat child who at the age of 8-9 still goes into the sensory baby area in a softplay deserves telling off and more.

I accidentally told off an adult in the shops yesterday. I held the door open for him and he just walked past, so I said loudly ‘say thank you’. I only realised I was saying it out loud as it came out 😳😳😳😳 my excuse is I’ve had my nephews all week and he did look suitably ashamed.

its perfectly appropriate to tell another kid off for hitting (within reason)

@Ataloss2567 I do this! I also make a very loud point of people who push in queues. I once shouted at a man in Greggs about his manners and what a poor example he was for his children (who were with him) when he walked straight past 10 people to the till

@raspberryapple 😂😂😂 im not usually brave enough! I normally do a very British tut then whinge incessantly to anyone who will listen afterwards! Well done you for sticking up for us cowards 😂🙈

Yep and did it when an older kid whacked my then 19m old across the head with a ball

I really don’t care what ineffective parents think. If you can’t keep your child under basic control in public then don’t act surprised and precious if someone tells them off.

Yes, absolutely. A 8/9 year old child pushed my not quite 1 year old over in the library and I told her to be careful. A few minutes later she made a beeline for DS and shoved him onto the floor. I shouted at her then stormed off and told a member of staff. The child's mother then appeared so she got an earful too!

In that specific situation, absolutely. And as a parent to boys who I know can be over-excitable and foolish at times, I'd smile and say thanks if you'd told them off over something I'd not seen.

You don't need to shout or be aggressive for children to know they've been bollocked. A quiet, stern "absolutely not" gets the message across well enough.

Yes, absolutely, if their bad behaviour is impacting on me or somebody else in the vicinity. I'm not a jerk about it but a stern voice and measured "don't hit that little girl, it isn't nice" or "please don't kick the back of my seat" is perfectly adequate and if their parents aren't bothered about doing it then somebody else needs to.

If a child especially one that much older than my own was being unkind/rough with my child (or any other, for that matter), I'd have no qualms about telling him to stop. It doesn't really matter if the parent(s) like it or not, honestly. If they don't want their precious darling being scolded by a stranger, they should step in and do it themselves.

The fact that he looked shocked might indicate that he's not used to being disciplined, which could explain why he was behaving that way to begin with. A child that age should know better than to push or hit a toddler.

I have no problem telling off other people’s children.

I’ve never ever had a parent complain.

Yes I would. And if the parent disagreed I'd tell them off too for being a lazy, shit parent who's happy to bring up rude, disrespectful and frankly horrible children.

And no I wouldn't mind if someone called out my own children for doing wrong either. They need to be taught respect, manners and kindness to ALL people.

I would have told the child off, reported it to the staff and have had a word with the parents.

I took my niece and her friend out for tea and they had a kids play are. The three year olds were playing in the ball pit, just laughing and rolling, when a boy about nine climbed in and started diving into the pit.

I asked him nicely to stop the first time, but I was ignored. The second time I was a bit sterner, but he laughed and carried on. Third time, I took my shoes off, jumped into the ball pit, and told him I'd jump on him if he did it again. Not my finest hour, but I was furious.

I absolutely would have done what you did in that situation.

I think there’s a fine line with other people’s children, I only tend to intervene when they’re doing something harmful or destructive. The last time I remember telling strangers children off was when a group of boys had wandered off from a party at a hotel I was staying in and were firing party poppers into a river filled with waterfowl. The stuff inside the poppers wasn’t even paper it was like lametta, and the birds were all pecking at it trying to eat it.

Got into the busy car park lift of shop this morning, 3 stops up to the ground floor, I was going to the second. Small ( 4 yr ? old) boy standing next to lift buttons, mother lets him press Ground floor button ( fine, we’ve all done it sometimes with little ones ) but then stands there as he presses everything else, all the floors , including the open/close. Grr. Just as his fingers were heading for the alarm button a quicker off the mark than me man next to me boomed ‘Stop ! Don’t touch it ! ‘ and the child stepped back, saving us all the faff of the alarm going off, the halt, the intercom etc. The mother just turned and glared at us all indignantly and clutched her precious to her which then cued the child into grizzling. Idiotic woman and hurrah to the man.