to want sex whilst kids are in the house?

[CarriePerry]

DP works nights most of the time so we only see each other on weekends (apart from about an hour a day when I get in from work and he's getting ready for work). We have his DD on the weekend and he doesn't feel comfortable having sex whilst she's in the house. She's only 6, and I don't see a problem with it if it's in the morning when she's still asleep or after she's gone to bed. We have a baby on the way and I'm not sure whether he expects us to never have sex again after they're born!

AIBU to think that sex is normal and as long as the kids don't see/hear you doing it it really doesn't matter?

When do you and your DP find time to have sex?

Well does he plan to never have sex again until your baby is able to go out and about alone?

He’s being ridiculous. Doesn’t he realise most parents have their kids 24/7 not every other weekend

I'd feel put off by him, it's pretty rejecting. You are not being unreasonable.........

@Ohmydayslove that was one of the points I made and he wasn't having any of it

Hello! I have sex when my LO is sleeping. I personally think therevisnt a problem...otherwise when would you do it?! I feel it is an important part of a healthy relationship to have sex....even if only once a month or so. I suppose it is about whatever you two are comfortable with. Have you asked why he doesnt feel comforable? Maybe it is something you can both discuss.

What on earth does he think most full-time parents do? 🙄 I've never heard anything so ridiculous! He needs to have a word with himself (either that, or he's simply making excuses not to have sex?)

I think this needs to be addressed properly. It sounds really wierd to be quite honest.

Well it certainly didn't stop the Radfords, did it.

Ask your other half how families who live together 24/7 have more than one child.

Well it is his call. You cannot make him feel comfortable.

I don’t like sex when I think my dcs might disturb us - and so mornings are a complete no for me. Once they’ve gone to bed and I’m completely sure they won’t stir then that’s fine.

My friend and her DP put the tv on and have a quickie in the middle of the day when her kids are downstairs - she said it takes them 20 mins and they have a lock on their door! Kids are fine. I'm not suggesting this of course but I feel like my DP is the polar end of the spectrum. I can't get my head round it. It's the total opposite when he's on days - we have sex all the time...

When the child is asleep..... does he think that full time parents never have sex again? I wouldn't do it in the morning but that's cause dd just wanders in but when she's asleep in bed on a night it's not problem.

Maybe he’s tired then? Have some sympathy!

Until you have your own child you can’t really know. But some parents become much more heightened and can’t quite switch off if their dcs are within earshot. Others are fine with it.

Being tired wound me up more so less likely to want sex either way.

I'm the youngest of four. Pretty sure I wasn't immaculately conceived. He needs to get over it!

@Believeitornot maybe he is. So am I. This isn't the reason he's given however so if it is because he's tired then it's pretty shit he's making up stupid excuses rather than just being honest...

Well it certainly didn't stop the Radfords, did it
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Not unreasonable but I have to say my children are over 10 now and I hate having to have “stealth” sex I’d rather not bother which does mean very little sex but I prefer quality over quantity nowadays.
Maybe your H just needs a lock on the door or something to help him relax about it.
Sound proofing? I dunno, ask him what he’s worried about?

If I never had sex with my kids in the house, I'd have been celibate for 20 years now. Just don't do it on the table whilst they're sat at it trying to do their homework.

It's easy when DC are little as they sleep a lot. Having sex with teenagers in the house is almost impossible!

Just don't do it on the table whilst they're sat at it trying to do their homework.

Not even if it's their biology homework.

Yep it’s your easy time with little kids.

We have 2 teens and one 26 still st home whose partners stay over too so on any Saturday night that’s 8 adults trying to have quiet sex

Just don't do it on the table whilst they're sat at it trying to do their homework.

Not even if it's their biology homework.

Or PSHE...

@ohhyoudevilyou

It's probably because you aren't her mother. I also feel really uncomfortable doing it with my DP who isn't my child's father but I didn't mind at all when I was with the father. I can't explain it, I know it makes no logical sense!!!

I recommend fitting a study lock to the bedroom door interior and also purchasing a draught excluder sausage thing to shove by the gap at the bottom of the door. Also that strip excluder stuff makes good sound proofing.
We've 2 teens and always make the lame excuse of needing a 'nap' or 'siesta'. House rule for everyone of knock, wait and enter.
Your DP needs to get over his sensitivities. A real turn off is Christmas when the inlaws stop over 😩

I also find it hard to "make it happend" while kids in house. I have a 9 year old and a 14 year old - and by the time the big one is a sleep - so am I!
I would be mortified if he heard us, or just knocking on the door. My husbond dont care, he could do it anywhere, anytime.
But I am good at saying "NOW" when both kids are out with friends during weekend or evening - he likes that. I miss the time for spontanious sex, instead of "on command" (even if it is me who gives the order :-)