So how often are you meant to see the GPs?

[londonliv]

I saw on another thread someone saying they were going for a visit to IL's with their 5 week old baby and it was the 3rd time they would be seeing each other. To me this seems like a lot of contact so I was then wondering if IAIBU as my DS doesn't see either set of GPs as much.

For context - my DS is 2 1/2. We live in London and both sets of GPs live out of London (in opposite directions!) so any visit is a full day/weekend trip. My DH & I both work FT so weekends are time with our DS & time catching up on admin (i.e. shopping/cleaning/laundry). We see GPs probably about once a month - every 6 weeks. I wouldn't say we are particularly social people but we probably have something on 3 weekends out of 4 (also DS social stuff not just us!) & sometimes we also just want a weekend hanging out not doing much/having to travel anywhere.

If people see the GPs more how do you fit it in?

By GP, I thought you meant the doctors!

You think 3 times in 5 weeks for a child to see their grandparents is too often?

Really?

Errrr, no I definitely disagree.

Are you perhaps feeling bad/guilty that your kids don't see their grandparents so often?

How far away do the people you are talking about live from their parents and PILs?

Our DC see their GP around every 6 weeks ish. Both sets are more than 150 miles away and our weekends are precious with us working full time. It works for us

My in laws visited last weekend. We hadn't seen them since Christmas. It's probably the longest we've gone without seeing them. They live about 1.5hrs drive away.
They moan that they don't see us but never invite us round, it's always up to us to initiate contact.
They're quite hard work.

We see my parents most weeks they come to us or us to them, we've seen them twice in the last seven days, they live about 45 minutes away, we see PIL every 3-4 weeks but they live two hours away , we've just announced baby on the way and have seen PIL every week since but they come to us more than us to them. MIL has announced she is retiring when baby is born and I go back to work so she can offer us childcare support and my mum and dad have offered to have baby one day a week (mum still works dad just tried and comfortable with toddlers and above but a bit anxious with tiny babies) , so with consolidated working for me and DH we won't need any paid for childcare. So we'll see them all at least once a week once baby arrives. This is too much for some but we all mainly get on well, I see DB SIL and DN every week to two weeks. DH is an only child.

There is no "meant to" about it. It's whatever everyone involved is comfortable with, thats it.

We see GPs most days but one set lives next door and the other helps with childcare and only lives 5 mins drive away. I wouldn't say 3 times in 5 weeks is a lot especially with a newborn.

*dad just retired

It depends on your circumstances and your relationship with the GPs , my dc saw my mum several times a week growing up because I’m in and out of her house all the time , they saw a lot less of the inlaws . When ds was 18 months we lived with my mum for 6/8 months after we had sold our house and not found anywhere to buy .

See each set of GP maybe once a week, sometimes twice a week.
In laws live 3 streets away, my parents about 30 miles!
I think distance plays a lot in it. My GP lived 150 miles away, only seen them twice a year so wanted DS to have a better relationship than I did.

Depends how far away they lived. If they lived less than an hour away probably every other weekend but as one set live a days train ride and the other set a plane ride away we only see them 2-3 times a year. I'm envious of someone that lives close enough to see them 3 times in 5 weeks.

My parents live 4+ hours away.

We see them a handful of times per year (saw them at Xmas, twice since - once at a family event that we travelled to, once they came here). Its hard travelling when DH and I both work during the week and DD has ASD, so I appreciate that it is unfair that it is pretty much up to them to make the effort with travel (both retired). They promise to visit more but this never comes to anything even when we have been on our knees with DD.

On the upside, I will feel no compunction to care for them in future years :D

I saw my mum's on high days and holidays kind of thing. Maybe at most six times a year?

I saw my dad's (much closer geographically) about once a month.

My fiance and I live quite out of our parents' ways, seeing mine almost as much as his even though they're three hours further away. Hard to imagine seeing his more than once every two weeks, I guess?

Are they infirm? Do THEY live busy lives? Do they want to see the kids more? The road is the same distance both ways if they don't have issues preventing travel . (anticipating this complaint with my parents once children arrive - they are used to children traveling to them and only 'visit' when they're on the way somewhere. They are highly mobile and have very few social engagements, so I expect to have to gently make the point that a few more journeys in our direction wouldn't go amiss)

Pip live 30 minutes away and we saw them once a month when they were working, more like 1 or 2 times a week now they have retired. My parents are 3-4 hours away and we see them once a year or so.

Whatever is comfortable for you, the parents. My parents live on the other side of country, so see them like you, once every 4-6 weeks. See the in laws multiple times across the week, it’s quite exhausting and doesn’t leave much time for family/friends time. But I know people who love that regular contact. People are just different. Unless you feel really upset about it I’d stick with what you’re doing. Every month is certainly often enough for kids to grow a good relationship with them.

There are so many variables. My dd sees her GPs (my parents) about 3 times a week, but they moved across the country to be near us. Before that, it was probably once every 5/6 weeks.

DH's parents are no longer alive, but before his mum died, we used to visit about once a year. Couldn't have done it more often as she lived in a different country and it took at least 2 days to get there.

It just depends.

There’s no such thing as what you’re “meant to” do. Whatever works for everyone involved.

We see my parents probably twice or three times a year. They live abroad. We see my PIL probably about 5 times a year. They live 3 hours away.

DD sees her nan (my mum) at least once a week usually twice a week.

There’s no ‘meant to’ involved, how could there be? Everyone’s circumstances are different.
My mum lives 5 mins away, we probably see her twice a week. My dad lives 10 mins away, we see him once a week. But obviously visits don’t have to take up a whole day.
DH’s parents live abroad so we see them maybe 3 times a year, but for a week at a time. So impossible to compare scenarios really.

Every family is different surely? Depends on where you all live, how well you get on, how often you all want to see each other.

We see my parents 2 mins away 2 days a week on the days they look after the children and another 4 generally. MIL (2 hours away) visits every other month for the day. I would be willing to visit her that often but there’s nowhere for us to stay. SMIL (also 2 hours away) sees us every 3-5 months, we meet in the middle for lunch. I’m v lucky the interested and helpful grandparents are the nearby ones.

We see my parents at least once a week, apart from in the case of holidays, illness etc. Paternal grandparents maybe once a month, they live further away than my parents who are just a short walk away.

When I was growing up we saw both sets a lot. Once a week for each probably.

I think it all depends on how near or far away they live. We see my parents a few times a week. They babysit for us occasionally also. We drive past their area most days.

Dh s parents we see at occasions and the odd probably about once every two weeks otherwise. 1-2 hours is a catch up because they don't appear to be into small talk about what the gcs are doing. They have a few gcs from each sibling anyway so I think they easily spend enough time between them all with company.

If they live 2 hours away it would be an over night trip and I think that's hard to fit in regularly with all the other occasions events life and work

Whatever suits you is fine surely? We live 5 minutes from 2 sets of GPs and 20min drive from the other. Our DD sees one set at least weekly and the other two every other week, but that's just popping in or seeing them when out and about which we can do as we're so close. We are starting to cut down the weekend time though as we're finding it a bit much seeing at least one set of GPs every weekend!

My kids just saw their nan for the first time in 4 years. More to do with sporadic contact with their useless dad. It's not enough. They see my mum maybe a couple of times a week (which is too much for me as I struggle with my relationship with her).

I used to see my GPs weekly as a kid and spent 3 weeks every summer with maternal gps