So how often are you meant to see the GPs?

[londonliv]

I saw on another thread someone saying they were going for a visit to IL's with their 5 week old baby and it was the 3rd time they would be seeing each other. To me this seems like a lot of contact so I was then wondering if IAIBU as my DS doesn't see either set of GPs as much.

For context - my DS is 2 1/2. We live in London and both sets of GPs live out of London (in opposite directions!) so any visit is a full day/weekend trip. My DH & I both work FT so weekends are time with our DS & time catching up on admin (i.e. shopping/cleaning/laundry). We see GPs probably about once a month - every 6 weeks. I wouldn't say we are particularly social people but we probably have something on 3 weekends out of 4 (also DS social stuff not just us!) & sometimes we also just want a weekend hanging out not doing much/having to travel anywhere.

If people see the GPs more how do you fit it in?

We go for Sunday tea at my parents every week.
Sometimes we see them inbetween as well, like this week they came to us for a bbq on Monday afternoon.
They only live about 15 mins away though.
I don't "fit them in", I value seeing them and prioritise it.

We see our parents (DSs GPs) about every 6 weeks. They live 2 hours in one direction and 1hr 15 minutes in the other, in good traffic so both are day trips.

My DD sees my DH's parents 3 times a week as they look after her while we both work.
And she sees my DM about once or twice a a week - possibly less if we're all busy but I always try to make arrangements to see her on the weekend.
But then, we all live in the same town and are close (relationship wise) so its natural for us to see each other regularly.. plus the childcare aspect..

My mum, NC and haven’t seen in 7 years
Saw my dad (who lives abroad) for the first time in 8 years the other day.

FIL lives 20 min away, we see him every few weeks when he is around (he has a canal boat and is often off in that or on holiday abroad) sometimes we see him several times a week other times when he is away it can be several months
MIL lives 2 hours away, we probably see her every couple of months. Kids go and stay with her in the holidays now that they are in the juniors and I am working

We'd see them more if we lived closer, probably fortnightly or more (mum would probably do childcare so it'd be more frequently). but with the distance it's hard as both they and we have active social lives.

There is no frequency that you are "meant" to see someone. Depends on the family, distances, etc.

We live on the same street as my MIL so she sees the kids most days. I grew up 200 miles from my grandparents and only saw them 3-4 times a year.

These things depend entirely on individual circumstances.

It depends, if they live in the same town once a week. If like ours they are 250 and 150 miles away, then it’s About 3 times a year.

My parents live within a 30min drive so my kids see them weekly and WhatsApp and Facebook daily (they're extremely close) my siblings kids see our parents daily on account of living 2mins walk away. You do what works for your family and don't feel pressured by what everyone else does!

Our set up is the same as yours OP. We live in London and work f/t, my parents live about an hour away and dp's mum is about an hour away on the other side of London.

All the gps are in their mid-eighties. My parents have very busy social lives, and we also have stuff going on most weekends, so we end up seeing them perhaps once a month or once every six weeks. It's absolutely fine.

My mum and I Whatsapp several times a week, and she talks to dd on the phone quite often. We are mindful of the fact that we will be lucky if they are all around to see dd reach school age in a couple of years, so when we do spend time together we make the most of it. They are all too elderly now to provide childcare or to have her to stay unfortunately, but they make up for it in many other ways.

My brother lives in another country and my mum sees his son about three times a year, it is what it is, every family is different.

Surely there no rules about how often you're "meant to" visit? If you live particularly far away then obviously you won't see them as much as someone who lives ten minutes down the road from theirs.
DS sees his granny, my mum, about once a week. We're moving nearer to her soon so it'll probably end up a few times a week. He only sees his grandad, my dad, every few months. Even though my dad only lives down the road from my mum, he doesn't make the effort so neither do we. DS has never met his other set of GPs as DH is no contact with his whole family. Everyone is different.

My parents and in-laws live 40 minutes away in the same town so we see both sets quite often, usually once a week or once a fortnight. My mum helps out with my daughter some weeks so may see her slightly more than the others. I love that my kids will grow up seeing their grandparents a lot, I wish I could have spent more time with mine when they were alive but they lived 2.5 hours away.

Both sets live 2+hrs' drive away. We used to see them once a month when the DC were younger. As the DC got older, we had more activities/weekend commitments which meant visits at school holidays & half terms. Now, a teen and a preteen with revision and DofE & cadet commitments which can occur at the weekends, it's more like every other month.

It's hard because as the GPs age, (all in their 70's) they are also less willing to drive the 140+ miles to visit us as opposed to us visiting them. They complain from time to time but it is what it is - there are no winners. It could be worse, at least the GPs' all live within 30 mins of each other so we can kill 2 birds with one weekend visit so to speak - Sat with one & Sun with the other before returning home late afternoon. Just as well, neither of the DC are particularly sporty but I suspect that our reluctance to make onerous weekend sports match commitments played a part in that. Throw in some teenage angst....

When my babies were 5 weeks old they’d probably seen their Grandparents about 20 times.

We see them once a week at the moment but are planning to move it out to once a fortnight as we need more time just ourselves.

DD sees my parents pretty much daily, we live on the same road, Im a single parent so spend a fair amount of my free time there and my parents take her to school and pick her up and the other set live 4+ hours a way so she skypes when shes at her Dads and sees them a handful of times a year.

At least 4 times a week but my mum lives 2miles away and does babysit for us. Mil we see once a week

As a child I saw my maternal grandparents about 5 times a week as they helped with childcare. Now I'm 31 and still try to see them at least once a week and we usually have a family holiday once a year.
As an adult I realise how extremely lucky I am to still have them in my life and I love seeing them.

My cousins on the other hand see them about once a year. It breaks their hearts (my grandparents) they only live about a 15 minute drive away too.

My dc see theirs about 3 times a year. We live in Wales, my parents are in London (dh parents are no longer with us). All of us work full time so it’s a military operation to organise visits. That’s just life I suppose.

I guess 'meant to' is the wrong wording. My parents are both from abroad so I grew up seeing GPs probably at most about 3 times a year which seemed perfectly normal to me. My parents now are not in the country much so we probably see them about every other month.

I guess I feel a bit guilty about my MIL. I know she would like to see us a lot more often but it is a full day trip away and is not really something we can manage more than once a month without giving up our DS's commitments, our own hobbies/socialising and also sometimes we just want to do nothing over a weekend but then I feel guilty I'm being a terrible DIL!

I see my mum at least once a week. My dad passed 11 years ago, and wehaven't seen/spoke to ILs for almost 2.5 years.

However just to add my mum only lives a 5 min walk from mine!

Depends on your circumstances, surely?

DS sees my parents every week as they look after him while DH & I work.

His other GPs live a four to five hour drive away so he sees them less, but we get up there when we can - three or four times a year maybe?

I see my parents three times a year but talk on the phone maybe four times a week. If they lived nearer (they are abroad) I would ideally like to see them about once a month, that would be ideal for me.

I'd probably cut down to see them once every 4 months going to see them.
But also invite them once every 2 months to your place. No reason why they can't visit, I take it?

DD sees my mum once or twice a week.

She hasn't seen my Ex-ILs since ExH last had contact with her in April.