Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel my smear test today - do you go for yours?

266 replies

Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 09:02

I feel panicky and sweaty with fear at the thought. I have two days of hospital appointments this week and just don't think I can face another one today. It was due at the start of the year, so thinking about rescheduling in a couple of months.

I do have vaginismus which means penetration really fucking hurts unless I'm aroused and enthusiastic, which obviously is the complete opposite of feelings you have during a smear.

Do you go for yours bang on when it's due? Is it pathetic of me to cancel?

OP posts:
mostdays · 30/05/2018 12:27

Yes, I go for mine.

My mum had three sisters, all of whom have had cervical cancer (one died, one had a hysterectomy, one was thankfully diagnosed so early she only needed LLETZ). I had my first smear at 17 as I was sexually active and in those days they didn't make you wait to 25. I've had borderline results a few times and had to go on six monthly and then annual recalls. Currently on 3 year recalls which is good.

I am lucky, I don't find smears traumatic. I've had painless ones, uncomfortable ones, painful ones (only a few of those though- generally the people performing them are excellent). I can imagine for people who do find them scary, painful etc, it's a horrible ordeal- particularly so if you have vaginisimus.

I don't think people are being reasonable at all to tell op to just get on with it- she's not describing a bit of tension and a twinge here and vaginisimus is not going to suddenly disappear because a bunch of people on the internet have said a smear is important Hmm.

pigmcpigface · 30/05/2018 12:31

I think you should see your GP about this issue. You clearly have compliating issues that make smears much more painful and difficult than they are for most women. I had a quick Google on your behalf, and there's a Reddit thread where someone used dilators to help in similar circumstances:

www.reddit.com/r/vaginismus/comments/38du2r/a_successful_pap_smear/

Maybe something like this could work for you?

You have been so brave. Make sure you treat yourself.

lostinsunshine · 30/05/2018 12:37

For various reasons due to events earlier in my life I find it traumatic and painful. The nurse used equipment that they normally reserve for young girls and was very sympathetic and gentle. She said I looked like I went into shut down mode to cope.

KNain · 30/05/2018 12:46

I get it OP. I had severe vaginismus for years. Those telling the OP to just suck it up/stop being pathetic/put on big girl pants clearly don't understand the condition. Ignore them.

There was a time when my vaginismus was so bad that they physically couldn't do a smear test. It wasn't that I was saying no or not being brave enough when I got in there. I didn't care about the pain, but numerous medical professionals - practice nurses, GPs, gynaecologists, consultants etc were all saying they physically couldn't perform one. No big girl pants would change that.

Diazepam definitely helped and I wouldn't ever have a smear test without it now.

Rather than forcing yourself through attempted smear after attempted smear you need to get the vaginismus treated and then go for a smear. Speak to your GP. I honestly never thought I'd be able to have sex, have a smear, wear a tampon, but if my vaginismus can be treated others can too.

I had counselling, that didn't work. I was given dilators on the NHS (after a referral letter from the councillor), which didn't work.
The thing that worked wonders for me was a vagi-wave. I was very sceptical but I was so so desperate I got one and it honestly changed my life. (I don't work for them, honest!)

Maybe there will be something else that works for you (counselling/dilators have been very successful for other people, so it maybe they are better for you) but I honestly would try and treat the cause of being unable to have smears.

3333hh44 · 30/05/2018 12:55

You have been so brave. Be very proud of yourself.

Kittykat93 · 30/05/2018 12:55

Sorry the thread hadn't loaded up properly when I posted earlier, so I apologise for that. Well done for going but sorry it ended up not going to plan. Hopefully they can try something to help you relax, as someone suggested diazepam maybe?

20brilliantcolours · 30/05/2018 13:01

Op smears are not compulsory. Like all screening tests. They are offered. You are welcome to decline. It is your right. Make an informed choice about your risk factors and the potential benefits and the potential harm.

Haveva read of some stuff by margaret McCartney. Google her name and smears.

Have you ever had a reputable hpv test? You need to do this privately not in NHS. If it's negative your chance of developing cervical cancer is much much lower.

You had options. You don't HAVE to have a smear. So not be bullied into something you don't want.

Original poster
Wheresmyappetite · 30/05/2018 13:06

Thanks, all. Got myself a coffee and starting to calm down.

My vaginismus doesn't interfere with my sex life now as I've said so I will not be making gp appointments for specialist treatment. My vagina is able and enthusiastic when I'm enthusiastically into the idea of something penetrating it, it just takes time. I spend enough of my time having hospital appointments as it is, I don't need anymore.

The second nurse was actually great at being slow to get the speculum in - but when she started opening the leaves that's when it all went wrong.

A prescription for diazepam for medical procedures makes more sense to me.

OP posts:
soveryfeckless · 30/05/2018 13:20

@20brilliantcolours makes a good point. Over treatment is an issue, the same applies to breast cancer screening. Screening is big business. It does save lives but it also causes women to have treatment that isn't needed.

Akire · 30/05/2018 13:20

Well done for going OP Flowers

soveryfeckless · 30/05/2018 13:27

This is very good for making a decision on breast cancer screening:

margaretmccartney.com/2015/02/19/lancet-informed-women-choose-breast-screening-less-often/

Bowlofbabelfish · 30/05/2018 13:30

Not a waste of time at all - you went, the surgery have a plan to do it taking more time and with a sedative. That’s a result.

From personal experience the ‘feet together let your knees fall apart’ position is painful. Try to get them to use stirrups or one foot on nurses shoulder and one on wall.

They will take more time for the booking next time and it’ll be ok

Olivo · 30/05/2018 13:36

Like others, I have a tilted. Ervin and it really hurts when they are trying to find it. I get told to do the fists under the bum cheeks too, it helps them. I take ibuprofen and paracetamol before I go as I find it incredibly painful, however, I have had CIN 3 and the treatment for that hurt much more.

MaddieElla · 30/05/2018 13:37

Please go...mine was due in April and I made an appointment the day I got the letter.

Appointment was on the 2nd April and I STILL don't have the results. They are saying there is a 10-12 week backlog. So please don't delay it any more.

happymummy12345 · 30/05/2018 13:37

It's great you went.
But I won't be going. I turned 25 this year and got a letter about booking one. No thank you. I had issues after giving birth that were very embarrassing and required an operation down below. So no way am I having someone else have a root around inside me.

Olivo · 30/05/2018 13:38

Well done for going and trying. I would recommend a mild dose of diazepam if you can. I have used it for dental treatment and it takes the edge off fear and pain.

Tistheseason17 · 30/05/2018 13:49

@happymummy12345

Well let's hope you don't get cancer and leave your DC without a happymummy12345 because you are worried about what your foof looks like.

You need to read about Jade Goody.

Moonkissedlegs · 30/05/2018 13:50

So no way am I having someone else have a root around inside me.

Not even if it could save your life? Your body your choice though.

OP I'm so sorry it went shit, I was really hoping you would be able to report back that it was all done and dusted. I think you should defo go back to GP to ask about a sedative or similar to help. Flowers

20brilliantcolours · 30/05/2018 14:05

@tistheseason how horrendously emotive and bullying to force a woman into an invasive procedure for SCREENING when they don't want them and there are reasons why choosing not to screen are perfectly valid. A symptoms needs investigation. Over diagnosis and over treatment is a big problem. Read some of my links above. Many women their bodies will sort out the dodgy cells anyway.

I do have smears but it's a choice. I don't think anyone should HAVE to have them. Nor be bullied into it by trying to imply they somehow don't care about their family.

Do you run up to someone who is a size 12 and about to eat a cake and berate them for not caring about their family?

Wolfiefan · 30/05/2018 14:10

I'm so sorry you weren't able to get it done but you have been so brave and should be so proud. Please do see about medication or sedation. Good luck.

PeakPants · 30/05/2018 14:23

tistheseason you have been misled if you think that screening is some miracle life saver. It isn't. Very few lives are saved through screening because those with actual symptoms will need diagnostic tests, not smear tests. All those headlines about girls being refused smears when they were bleeding heavily between periods are rubbish because a smear would not have helped there anyway. They already had cancer. Smear tests also have negative side-effects, which is why the age was raised to 25. It can cause premature births if you have cells removed and chances are that they will not develop into cancer anyway. There are other ways to keep safe- a swab every 3 years is unlikely to save your life, even if the doctors tell you that.

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/why-im-saying-no-to-a-smear-7577967.html

mirime · 30/05/2018 14:24

@tistheseason bloody hell, did you read the post? Did happymummy12345 even say it was because she was worried about appearance?

I was scared shitless the first time I had one after having DS, and that was just after being poked about a lot while being induced and then having a third degree tear - not because I was worried about how I looked, it was because I was scared of how much it was going to hurt.

I was lucky. It didn't hurt, in fact smears hurt less now than before I had DS. But I wouldn't be so harsh towards someone who can't face it because they were injured during childbirth. Or indeed someone with vaginismus.

PeakPants · 30/05/2018 14:24

You need to read about Jade Goody

She did have smears. How would a smear have helped her once the cancer had taken hold in her body? It did pick up abnormal cells but it didn't stop the cancer from developing rapidly anyway.

Bearhunter09 · 30/05/2018 14:29

Firstly no it’s not pathetic you are scared because of medical overload and fear of pain but please don’t cancel