to think British extracurricular activities are too much about competition?

[DorothyL]

Maybe it's not like this everywhere but at least in our area...
Play an instrument? Do grades
Dancing? Exams/competition team
Same for gymnastics etc
Football/rugby - make it into the team

There seems to be hardly any activity which can just be done for the enjoyment of it.
(Similar I guess to school subjects - not worth doing if you don't take an exam and achieve a top grade.)

Especially as children get older this seems to be such a shame - no opportunity to do an activity just for fun.
In the EU country I come from this is different.

Music grades are NOT a competition - they are a curriculum. Really very different.

I agree, though, that it is quite hard to start an EC from scratch as a teen with no base. If you do no sport or no music or no art as a child you will find it hard (unless you have a lot of innate talent) to start as a ten.

Dd has drama and singling classes. She's a teen and been going since she was 5. There are no competitions, no grades, no exams. It's done purely for fun and the social side. There are some performances but they are low key. She's had some great opportunities too but again no competition aspect to it.

DD is one of the least competitive people I know so the clubs with a lot of competition built in never appealed to her.

When younger she also did Brownies, cheerleading, trampoline and swimming over the years. Swimming was the only one where there were grades but they were done via continuous assessment and not competing against others. She did piano lessons for fun for a while and did singing lessons via school - did a couple of grades (and did well) but she then decided she didn't want to do it in that way and much preferred the more fun group classes instead. Shits her personality far more and she gets to choose what she sings instead of just learning specific things to pass a test.

even as an adult running has to lead to a half or something

Not true... so many entrants to events I go to have attitude "I just want to get around." That's my take on a 10km I entered (first & maybe last ever).

Oh she did climbing too - yes, there are badges to achieve and she did a couple there too. But they are individual achievements and she wasn't interested in the competitions and would have been just as happy not doing the grades - again they were just continuous assessment so not a test or anything.

Now she's older she goes to the gym and occasionally goes running. She has done some official 'runs' but prefers the fun ones such as the colour and mud runs with obstacles which she's done with friends for a bit of a laugh rather than to get a good 'time' or whatever. She hasn't really enjoyed the straight forward rod race type ones as they are focused on getting a time. She actual prefers to just go for a run in her own locally, or at the gym.

So sport doesn't always have to be competitive either.

even as an adult running has to lead to a half or something

Not for me. I have recently started a bit of running and the gym but I'm not working towards a race at all. I have used the coach to 5k programme a bit but not fully and it's unlikely I will reach 5k - arthritis and my joints don't always want to comply sadly. But the gym and the bit of running is just about getting myself fit and healthier, and trying to strengthen the muscles and ligaments around the knee and ankle joints which may help longer term. Like dd, I'm not competitive and wouldn't want to run with someone else or run for a time. It's just not me. I'm happy to just do my own thing.

even as an adult running has to lead to a half or something

Not for me either - I run just for fun and could not care less on times and when I finish. Races are fun just because I am running with other people yet I don't have to chit chat with them.

Agree with you OP. Having dc who aren't great at sport has shown me this. There aren't enough opportunities to play sport without a competitive element which gets a bit stressful for kids who aren't great players but want fun and to improve their skills without feeling they are letting their teammates down.

As a PP said this can be a problem at universities in that some sports societies lack 'social' teams where people can play the sport for fun and fitness. I knew someone who had to give up rugby because although he was good he wasn't good enough to join the teams and there was no provision outside of competition.

When they get to teenage years there seems to be no option to start an activity from scratch, which adds difficulty for teens with friendship issues.

Don't be daft.
Cadets doesn't start until 13 (or 14?)
DofE doesn't start until 14.
Scouts / Guides etc, you can join any age
Cricket, rugby, football - just to my knowledge in that I know dc who have joined all 3 in the last year, at 14+ - I'm sure it is the same for any sport though
Climbing
All water sports (as in paddle boarding, sailing, kayaking, dragon boat racing, surfing, water skiing, stand up paddle boarding) that I know of.
I'm sure there are hundreds of others. I'm only listing those that I know people have started for the first time in teens, in the last couple of years, around me.

I don’t do much extracurricular with my child. But I think a more competitive spirit is good for kids. There is far too little!!!

Dorothy - I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking that! I'm French and my activities as a kid used to be for fun (judo, horseriding, badminton etc) Not really the case here. When I came over I couldn't find a judo club I liked as it was all about competition, which was not my focus. It's great that kids can be competitive but sometimes it should be more about fun.
I think that's why so few adults actually have similar hobbies once they're 'grown up' - because it's an all or nothing environment.
Of course there are exceptions. I've found some v friendly badminton clubs. Shooting clubs are generally friendly too. For my girls the drama club is fab.

My uncompetitive child LOVES Beavers! Messing around collecting leaves, building fires, making crispy cakes... happy days. They work towards badges together so it's a real team effort.

He also loves choir, lego club and piano (his teacher is wonderful and hasn't even mentioned grades).

We've found it quite easy to find extra curricular stuff that isn't competitive, but appreciate that this might not be the case everywhere.

it's anglo saxon mentality. We love to build and save for the future. Why would a hobby be any different, Brits need goals..... either that or they are the couch tv lot....

Let your kids just enjoy... play, have fun, experiment, let them be bored. Life is so structured now here, it's madness.

It could be worse, you could have... horses.

😎

Agree with those who say the lack of opportunities to play team sport for fun is a problem at Uni too. Know a number of people who have dropped a sport because they weren't good enough for the team but would have enjoyed playing for fun.

I also agree that generally it is harder to take up a team sport in your teens as you are often joining a club where others have been doing it for years. I know there are other activities children can do but for team sports offer so much so it is a shame there are not more opportunities to play them for fun.

I agree with op it would be nice if there was a choice of non competitive as well we have moved from overseas and I'm struggling to find a ballet or gym class for my very active 8 yr old because apparently it's already a bit late for her to join as a beginner and she's too old to be put with the 5 yr olds.. too late At 8yrs old!!!! I did find somewhere eventually but it's not local and annoying having to schlep when there are loads of nearer classes!!

It doesn't have to be like that though. DD is almost 13 and has been going to a dance class since she was 3 or 4. The class is low key and fun, they use modern music and the whole thing culminates in a show at the end of the year. Exams are offered, but as an optional extra which only around a third of the girls do.

DD sings in a choir - non-competitive.

My kids also do Guides/Scouts which is non-competitive.

@OhTheTastyNuts what is this Legoclub?! 😮

I do see your point OP. I hear some of the more the competitive parents at the activities my DCs do constantly comparing and making comments about other kids and it is very off putting. Some are unbelievably pushy and take an unhealthy interest in their DCs activities making the atmosphere quite toxic. I have heard one Mum say that she hoped another child would break a leg so that she would not be able to complete against her DD. These are kids FFS

@RomeoBunny it's organised by the school. The kids (KS2) build models reflecting the 'themes' of that half term (compassion, wisdom, perseverance etc). Although from what I can gather you can build whatever you like and link it to the theme very loosely!

I think there’s a big difference between competition and rewarding progress. I’m not competitive at all. There’s nothing more likely to get me to give up completely than to ask me to compete against someone. But I do like seeing progress in myself. Some competitive spirit is probably a good thing. I also think rewarding effort, perseverance and progress is very important. Things like music grades, you’re not competing against anyone.

My kids play football, and anyone who joins the team can play. It’s the local FA rules. Obviously there is competition team v team (although teams U6 aren’t allowed to play matches) but no competition to get on the team. I’m mentally going through the EC activities my own kids do. Some don’t do any ‘badges’ or competitions: art club, storytime club, football, maths, iPad club. Swimming is the only thing they get awards for.

It's definitely down to what activities you do and who with. My dc do what some people consider too much extra curricular stuff but the vast majority is non - competitive and inclusive and done purely for interest or enjoyment. Our school do free after school clubs every day and non are come titi or for achievement . Even choir is called Singing For Fun very pointedly 😁

Mine do dance but the teacher doesn't hold with grading and exams so they do a show every other year instead. Mine do gymnastics but it's a PAYG group with no ridiculous fees or uniform requirements.

Swimming is the only one where they are 'judged' and free sted really but even that is only about meeting a level, not competing with others.