To be pissed off with private scanning company?

[ClaraFrance]

Me and DP attended a private scan a couple of weeks ago as he works away with the military and wasn't going to be present for my 12 week scan.

I was only 9 weeks and I haven't had the 12 week scan yet. We asked the scan company if anything gets sent to the house, as my mother lives with us currently and has a tendency to open our mail. She said no, only if something is wrong with the baby and in this case they would send a letter to my gp. Two weeks later, a letter arrives in the post thanking us for attending the scan, and offering us promotions for further scanning throughout pregnancy. Lo and behold, my mother opened this and now knows I am pregnant. She is very unwell and we wanted to make telling her a special occasion as it's unlikely she will live long enough to meet any further grandchildren.

Have the scan company done anything wrong in sending us this letter? AIBU in being completely pissed off after they told us there would absolutely be no correspondence? What should I do about this? I'm so furious and need a little clarity surrounding this cock up!

Sounds like your issue is with your mum not respecting boundaries.

The person doing the scan will have been talking from the POV of what is sent out clinically I would imagine whereas the promotional stuff like you got will be from a completely different team

Its standard marketing, no they have not done anything wrong and there is nothing to be done about it. I get that you are disappointed but you are overreacting.

Well your mother shouldn't have opened the letter. I don't think the scan company have done anything wrong because you probably ticked into receiving marketing when you booked.

She shouldn't be opening your mail. This isn't about the scan company.

Have you consented to receiving marketing information? Under gdpr i think the company would have broken the law. When was the letter sent? (Gdpr only started on 25/5.)

What should I do about this? I'm so furious and need a little clarity surrounding this cock up!

Tell your Mother to stop opening your mail!

Had you opted out of marketing with the scan company i.e. Ticked a box to say you didn't want marketing promotions? If you have theyve breached data protection law. If not they've not done anything wrong.
TBH your mother is the issue she absolutely should not be opening any post it's a massive invasion of privacy. If you knew she was likely to do this you should not have given them your address or requested 'no contact' for your address.

Why aren't you livid with your mum for opening your post?!

The issue is with your mother not respecting boundaries. It's your house, you are adults and as such are entitled to have privacy. She has no right to open your mail.

@Sirzy my mum has dementia and doesn't do it intentionally. Apologies I should've made that clearer.

The thing is we explained to the lady doing the scan the exact reason why we didn't want ANY correspondence. She assured us that there would be none. We even wrote on the form that we didn't want any under 'additional comments' - it isn't a large company, it's just run by one woman. They most certainly don't have a marketing team. It's really tiny.

Your request made it clear you didn't want to receive marketing mail, so YANBU to be annoyed.

It was addressed to you? Why would she have opened it?

No I don’t think the technician or the receptionist is responsible for their marketing material that they don’t know anything about.
Should I have been angry to get repeated emails from my scan company asking me to rate them online when they’d found a MMC?

I would say they've breached data protection laws then. Ring them up and speak to them.

@wheezing my mother has dementia, just explained this in a previous post. She doesn't do it intentionally. I should've explained that better., apologies.

The scanner may not have been aware of marketing letters. So YWBU to blame them.

There will have been an opt out of correspondence box on the forms you signed - you may have missed it. They usually say tick if you DON'T want to hear from us. If you didn't tick it then they have your consent. If you didn't tick it isn't their fault. It will probaby have been tiny though.

The biggest issue though is your mum opening your post. That isn't the company's fault or responsibility though. They sent private mail to a private address, the expectation is that only the addressee opens mail.

I can see why you would be upset, but it's not their fault. Congratulations on your pregnancy .

Sorry to hear this, but honestly, you have a MiL problem that I'd be more worried about! Stop her from opening your bloody mail!!!! For one, it's INCREDIBLY rude, and two, it's illegal! Tell her VERY CLEARLY in words she will have NO trouble understanding, that she has no right opening your mail and must stop immediately! If you don't want to do this, your DH must. I'd be livid too...at her!

As for the company, the person you asked most probably didn't realise that their marketing department would pick up your details and send out the promotional flyer after your scan. They all do this, they want your money! I'm not saying they should, but they do. You ASKED them if anything was going to be sent, but did you very specifically TELL them NOT to send anything?

I understand that you're upset/angry...but you're directing this the wrong way. Use it to sort out your very rude MiL.

Sorry..Mum, not MiL.

Given your update then i think you have a right to be furious. I have no idea what the comeback is but if it is just one woman i would suggest starting by writing to her firmly explaining why she has let you down.

I think then the fact that she has dementia means that you can’t really foresee or stop incidents like this unfortunately.

Cross post. If you wrote that on the form then they ARE massively in the wrong.

@NorthernKnickers I've just explained twice that she's for dementia and doesn't do it intentionally. She's my mother, not my MiL.

I also explained in my previous post that I made it very obvious that I didn't want anything sent. I explained the reasons why and wrote this clearly in capitals in the 'further comments' box.

Really frustrating but unfortunately (and I appreciate not something you’ll probably want to address with her in the circumstances) the “main” issue is your mum opening stuff that is not addressed to her. I’d call the company as it sounds like they need to be much clearer about what they use your address for, and I would really want an apology from them but there is. Limit to what they can do now as they can’t un-send the letter (much as your mum can’t un-see it).

Do hope this hasn’t spoilt things for you - bet your mum is so excited about the pregnancy! Are there other special things you can plan in with her instead? I normally am a bit about them but might a sex reveal party (if you are planning on finding out) be nice for later on your pregnancy? Kind of instead of the special announcement?

Your mum having dementia...get a mail 'catcher' box for your door. All post will drop into it and you'll have a key to unlock it!

Yeah tell a person with dementia off, nice one.

Oh just seen your mum has dementia - so sorry. Hope you are able to enjoy as much as possible with her while you can.