To be pissed off with private scanning company?

[ClaraFrance]

Me and DP attended a private scan a couple of weeks ago as he works away with the military and wasn't going to be present for my 12 week scan.

I was only 9 weeks and I haven't had the 12 week scan yet. We asked the scan company if anything gets sent to the house, as my mother lives with us currently and has a tendency to open our mail. She said no, only if something is wrong with the baby and in this case they would send a letter to my gp. Two weeks later, a letter arrives in the post thanking us for attending the scan, and offering us promotions for further scanning throughout pregnancy. Lo and behold, my mother opened this and now knows I am pregnant. She is very unwell and we wanted to make telling her a special occasion as it's unlikely she will live long enough to meet any further grandchildren.

Have the scan company done anything wrong in sending us this letter? AIBU in being completely pissed off after they told us there would absolutely be no correspondence? What should I do about this? I'm so furious and need a little clarity surrounding this cock up!

@lamerde no problem and thank you.

it's not the point. Let's say her dp wasn't the father and the dp opened it? Or she came from an abusive marriage and the h had threatened her if she had got pregnant? or it was a younger woman who lived with her parents and they would throw her out if she was pregnant? There are all sorts of connotations!

The point isn't that her mother opened it. The point is she asked, very specifically, in writing, that a letter 'showing' that she had been for a scan, therefore by that implication, was pregnant, not to be sent to the house. The reasoning, in a way, doesn't matter but it could have been sinister.

I still think it's horrific and I really hope they take your complaint seriously.

I understand that we have bigger things to worry about. I just know my mum won't be with us for much longer and I wanted to see the look on her face when she found out. DP is away for 3 months, I'm feeling low and this was one thing I was looking forward to.

@daffodeffo @clarafrance I have had several of these private scans with different companies, mainly the chains. They are generally quite rubbish and just making money out of our anxiety or wish to see our babies. I had one scan where they booked me in and then when I turned up they said it was a different day, luckily I had my email proof so in the end although I did have to come back they scanned me for free.
Then another one the photos were so rushed and bad you couldn't see it was human let alone a baby, I had another where they told me the baby was a boy, but then wrote on the little pack they gave me that the baby was a girl!
I personally am not surprised that the company don't know their backside from their elbow and have let you down, because while I'm sure the sonographers are great and have proper training, the companies have always seemed very hit and miss, so I wasn't playing it down, I just don't think they are very professional and I don't think you'll get much from them.

Are the OP's posts invisible to some people? She's made it clear why her mum opened the letter.

Surely the obvious thing to do here is phone up the scan company and ask them why they ignored your very specific instructions. If it's a one woman band there's no excuse for not knowing that you'd expressed a specific request.

Is there a reason you haven't just asked them?

@PattiStanger I just don't think people read the full thread.

They're closed this week as the woman who does the scanning is on holiday with her children as it's school hols. It really is a one woman band! I do plan on contacting them but will likely write to them as opposed to phone.

The experience i the had with a scanning company is that they were great.
They took the time to do the scan, were very good at checking if you wanted to know the sex if the baby etc...
Even down to a free rescan if the baby didn’t behave and they couldn’t see anything (eg Legs crossed)

But I’m not sure how they would have dealt with a situation like the OP. I suspect the ourson who was doing all the admin just didn’t know about the marketing emails they send to women.

Which is why it’s important to tell them!!

Xpost.
As a one woman band, she has NO excuse!!

Do write her a letter. Tell her, again, whay you were so adament that ou wanted NOTHING sent to your home. Outline embellish the issues it has caused and tell her, firmly, that she needs to do better, especially in light of the new GDPR regulations. Tell her, plainly, that you wish to be removed from ALL of her listings an, as far as is possible whilst complying with her legal obligation to hold some information, you wish to exercise yoru right to be forgotten, immediately. And that you wish to receive full notification of her complaince, within 30 days.

Then, think about it, until she replies. Is she providing the service on behalf of a 3rd party, e.g. the NHS? Do you want to put her out of business or just tighten up her procedures?

I'm just upset because I did everything I could to prevent this from happening.

Oh that is really upsetting. I'd possibly be wanting to escalate it, as it really shouldn't be difficult for them to respect your wishes.

You have every right to be upset. I am a sole trader and, even before GDPR, would have done better than that!

I hope you can rationalise this away though, it really isn't important enough to spoil any part of your pregnancy

Thanks both x