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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think breastfeeding covers that look like giant shopping bags are a bit odd

132 replies

Muse84 · 28/05/2018 20:51

That's it really. Always draw the eye. It's like they've put the baby in a giant IKEA bag and hung it around their neck!

Just a light hearted observation. I am FTM who breast feeds and I always found that two tops and an occasional strategically placed small muslin do the job perfectly. Nobody sees a thing, even when nosy baby looks around.

I'm not judging anyone here, I struggled at the beginning too. I just wonder who invented these bags then sold them to poor women who may not realise how much they stand out.

Maybe they feel super happy and confident using them, in which case I'll shut up and support them

OP posts:
SoyDora · 29/05/2018 08:01

I think by the time you have your second child you care even less about people looking, so the chasing a toddler thing isn't really an issue

I used one for my second child too. And will for the third that I’m currently pregnant with. You know why? Because I want to.

CakeWars · 29/05/2018 08:12

I’m currently mix feeding (mainly breast though) my 4mo dc2. I am also large of nork and am quite clumsy, so I struggle to feed discretely. I don’t get on with the covers though as I can’t see to help my baby latch. Mine have both had crap latches though which we never fully resolved.

So, I don’t use the covers. If we bf when out and about I just ‘brazen’ it out, for want of a better phrase. I appreciate there’s nothing ‘brazen’ about it.

Most of the time, I have to feed my baby breast milk from a bottle and fwiw I feel equally self conscious doing that, as people definitely judge bottle feeding more than bfing where I live. If I take out a bottle of formula Shock I half expect to see someone sharpening their pitch fork!

CakeWars · 29/05/2018 08:18

Oh sorry, re the op. Meh. I like the covers. I have two and would have used them if I could have got the hang of them. Aside from covering me up, they might have stopped my babies getting so distracted. Don’t get the hate really. People get judgy about the weirdest things Confused

CocoLoco87 · 29/05/2018 08:18

My feeding cover was the best gift I was given for DC1 and I used it for Dc2. I felt so self conscious wrestling with muslins and a wriggly baby. They really helped me relax when feeding in public. Also it's quite dark under there so DC would always fall asleep so I could eat my lunch or whatever with 2 hands after I'd fed them Smile

PolkerrisBeach · 29/05/2018 08:19

They are ridiculous. People use then because they don't want to draw attention to (shock, horror) a breast, so envelop themselves in a tent and draw even more attention.

SoyDora · 29/05/2018 08:22

They are ridiculous. People use then because they don't want to draw attention to (shock, horror) a breast, so envelop themselves in a tent and draw even more attention

Oh piss off. Have you read the thread and seen the various reasons people use them? And why do you care? You do what you want and let others do what they want.
Such an innocuous item yet still people manage to be an arse about others using them for their own comfort.

BlackberryandNettle · 29/05/2018 08:27

Currently feeding and not using cover as it's all going well but previously have used one and may again, they were really useful for
#1 feeding first baby at the beginning when spent ages latching/relatching/positioning a nipple shield.

#2 when baby two had a very distracted phase, acted as a sort of blinker so they actually fed

SoyDora · 29/05/2018 08:39

You know what the OP and some of the other posts on here read like?

‘Hmm... I can’t slag them off for not breastfeeding, because they are breastfeeding. Damn. Oh I know, I can slag them off the the way they breastfeed. Perfect’.

ArfArfBarf · 29/05/2018 08:47

I didn’t use them at all for babies 1 or 2 but did for baby 3. I’d moved to an area that wasn’t as supportive of breastfeeding in public and I had enough on my plate to worry about what “message” I was conveying by covering up more. I’d done the two top thing with the others and tbh the cover was no more faffy than that.

Lethaldrizzle · 29/05/2018 08:48

Soydora yep we are slagging off the method. It's akin to the thread about the woman who was made to take down posters about raising money for sanitary products. Just another way to shame women

SoyDora · 29/05/2018 08:54

Just another way to shame women

Because you’re being oh so supportive of women who have found a way to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public.
Women don’t have to do every single thing in their power to further the cause. While getting to grips with feeding their newborn, in a sleep deprived state, they don’t have to think ‘oh I’m not going to do this thing that makes life easier and more comfortable for me in case it’s viewed by someone I don’t know as a backward step for women who breastfeed in public’.

StylishMummy · 29/05/2018 10:57

I just whack a boob out, no covers, no one top up, one top down stuff. Like it or lump it

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 11:42

@soydora I certainly wouldn't try and shame anyone breastfeeding. It's a shame the covers are so large and attract such attention as I genuinely felt really sorry for anyone who felt they needed to use one, and felt sorry for any baby underneath one. I can see from this thread that some people actually like them and feel they are light and airy, so I've learnt something. I do agree it's a backward step as I think it draws more negative attention and makes breastfeeding look even more awkward and hard which may put people off, but I think this has to do with how oversized they are. They make it look awkward.
I do dress carefully for discreet feeding but never have the child's head covered.

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 11:46

It's not slagging off the way people breastfeed, it's actually just discussing the fact that actually it's clear people do have views on these covers. If you want to change the way they are viewed then discuss them not turn it into another battle. I'm pro breastfeeding and have spent years and years doing it, my views on them were sympathetic and sad not judgey for the way people fed, just that they felt the need to use them because society was so unsupportive.

SoyDora · 29/05/2018 11:48

The thing is, you don’t need to ‘feel sorry’ for anyone who chooses to use one. I chose to use one for my own comfort.
You don’t have to feel sorry for my children either, they’re 4 and 2 now and are showing no ill effects from feeding under a lightweight cover.

JacquesHammer · 29/05/2018 11:52

Do we really need to pull other people's choices apart?

I can't decide if it is arrogance or ignorance to be honest.

I breastfed for 3 yrs and 8 months. I didn't use a cover because I didn't choose to. I can easily see how there are a variety of reasons why other people want to.

Thewinedidit · 29/05/2018 11:56

What's to feel sorry for? If people want to use them let them. I don't, got no reason other than I didn't get around to buying one. I'm happy to feed without (usually have two tops), but think they are great.

Women using them aren't worried about drawing attention to the fact they are breastfeeding, they may just not want the whole world to see their breast. That's their choice. BF with a cover, BF without, FF, what business is it of anyone else.

People need to be a whole lot less judgemental about babies being fed and devote their energy elsewhere.

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 11:58

@soydora but it's not like a plan is it? Just because someone think 'you don't need to feel sorry for my child' doesn't mean a person seeing the cover doesn't feel sorry for the situation! The way you react to something is a reaction. And everyone I have ever sat with who's seen one has had the same reaction and thoughts. It doesn't make people bad or judgy.

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 12:01

@thewinedidit for me it was a genuine feeling regarding how society is so unsupportive and accepting of breastfeeding. I felt sorry for them being invented or necessary and it's put young mums I know off trying as they think they look ridiculous. So there is an issue there and it's not helping the overall breastfeeding rates in this country, however I can see that for an individual user thanks to this thread there are various reasons for using them.

SoyDora · 29/05/2018 12:04

I can honestly say I’ve never felt sorry for someone who is doing something out of choice which makes them happier and more comfortable. Why would I? Maybe prior to this thread you could have felt sorry for them as you may have thought they felt forced into it, but now you’ve read the various reasons people use them (for their comfort) do you think maybe you could just think ‘each to their own’?

SendYouUpinFlames · 29/05/2018 12:06

IDGAF what anyone thinks. I feed my 9 month old where and when we want. And we don't use anything Grin because.. why should we.
If anyone ever pulled me a dirty or said anything to me while I was feeding my baby I'd give them the swift finger. or pull my nip out of DS mouth and squirt her

But really. Some women may find it uncomfortable. People do stare. And it does make you feel uncomfortable when you're not use to it.

But to be fair. When you see someone with 'a large ikea' bag over them, you shouldn't automatically think 'ohh poor woman'.
You should be proud to see another breastfeeding mum breastfeeding.

Heatherjayne1972 · 29/05/2018 12:09

They were all the rage recently for the BF mums at church
Some women like them for modesty

Meh. Each to their own

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 12:23

@soydora and that's what I've said. But I can still think it's sad that it puts young mums off? It's not helping the overall breastfeeding rates in this country so there's nothing wrong with being concerned about that.
Too be fair I definitely feel sorry for anyone who felt the need to 'put a large Ikea bag' over themselves. And a lot of people do. Men included. If causes far more conversation in a zoo restaurant with males and females than a woman just normally feeding. So it is a valid topic as it affects the way breastfeed continues to be viewed and perceived.

Boredandtired · 29/05/2018 12:25

And to be fair, even as a breastfeeding peer, why on earth should I feel proud of a woman breastfeeding under a cover. Breastfeeding is feeding your baby, I don't feel 'proud' of myself, it's normal, I'm not going to feel proud of another woman doing it. This country is just so weird with its breastfeeding attitudes.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 29/05/2018 12:26

I have H-cup breasts and never did anything other than just lift up the side of my top to feed. Other than a darling elderly gentleman commenting "eh, he'll never eat all that..!", nobody (except, ironically my mother 😡) batted an eyelid. Perhaps I was just very fortunate...