Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think breastfeeding covers that look like giant shopping bags are a bit odd

132 replies

Muse84 · 28/05/2018 20:51

That's it really. Always draw the eye. It's like they've put the baby in a giant IKEA bag and hung it around their neck!

Just a light hearted observation. I am FTM who breast feeds and I always found that two tops and an occasional strategically placed small muslin do the job perfectly. Nobody sees a thing, even when nosy baby looks around.

I'm not judging anyone here, I struggled at the beginning too. I just wonder who invented these bags then sold them to poor women who may not realise how much they stand out.

Maybe they feel super happy and confident using them, in which case I'll shut up and support them

OP posts:
PTW1234 · 28/05/2018 22:10

What’s an FTM? If that stands for full time mother or even worse mummy you can have my first ever Biscuit

SoyDora · 28/05/2018 22:10

I think it’s first time mum.

SoyDora · 28/05/2018 22:11

How is it a backward step? It allowed me to feel comfortable feeding in public, when otherwise I would have stayed at hone (not good for my mental health) or stopped BF-ing.

PTW1234 · 28/05/2018 22:12

I hope so!

Have the rage from someone saying full time mummy to me earlier today at a park.. 🙈

Eatmycheese · 28/05/2018 22:19

Why would you give a fuck?
If it helps someone feel more comfortable or whatever about breastfeeding in public because of whatever societal / cultural : personal preference reason then why does it matter?

sunshineonarainyday321 · 28/05/2018 22:24

I was at the zoo recently and we sat down to have a picnic on some benches, I fed our little one straight away. A woman sat down on the bench next to us and pulls out this strange tent like contraption and proceeds to fasten it around her neck to then feed her 2 year old. I'd never seen one before and found it drew attention to her more than me with my top discreetly lifted. I was a little worried the child would be roasting too, it was a hot day and the poor thing had its head covered.

I don't see the point but each to their own I guess...

Boredandtired · 28/05/2018 22:28

As a long term breastfeeder, I hate them, think they look hot silly and awful and attract far more attention and comments than discreet breastfeeding with a strategic scarf or top. I feel sorry for the women who feel they need to use them and the babies who have to eat under them. Imagine bottle feeding your child under one?
But I would never comment or stare. At the end of the day they obviously feel the need, and society has made them feel they need to.

Kokeshi123 · 28/05/2018 22:28

Personally I thought mine was brilliant.

I don't understand "But it draws attention to the fact that you are BFing!!!" So what? I didn't mind drawing attention to the fact that I was BFing--I used to quite enjoy the approving smiles I got from old ladies. I just didn't want to be constantly stressed that my child was going to expose my breasts by pulling away from me unexpectedly.

I don't always want to wear loose layered tops--sometimes I wanted to wear fitted clothes, dresses etc. And I liked the fact that I could look down the stiffened edge bit and see her face. I didn't like normal shawls because they blocked my view and I spent the whole time trying to stop them sliding off me.

I don't care if other people don't want to use them--up to them. But I personally liked mine.

And it's hypocritical to say "It's wrong for women to cover up BFing!" if you are simply using other items to clothing to cover up instead. What's the difference?

Kokeshi123 · 28/05/2018 22:31

" I feel sorry for .... the babies who have to eat under them"

How is it any different to having the bottom of a shirt pulled over the baby's head instead, which most of the non-BF-cover-users do instead?

The "tents" are actually very airy inside because the stiffened edge means that they are open at the top.

The majority of mothers I know did not use them and I think the way they BF was fine too. Why can't women respect each others' preferences?

4GreenApples · 28/05/2018 22:31

I think it’s generally more discreet to not use a breastfeeding cover - the ones I’ve seen are rather eye catching - but I can see how they’d be very useful if you had a nosy baby who would be continuously breaking off feeding to look around without being under a cover. Fortunately not a problem I had with my babies.

Boredandtired · 28/05/2018 22:31

Interesting reading the comments though. I genuinely did feel sorry for anyone I saw using them (mainly because they seemed awkward I have to say) so to read people saying they liked them is seeing a different viewpoint.

Boredandtired · 28/05/2018 22:33

@kokeshi123 I never saw it as a preference, I genuinely though god how awful to feel you need to do that. So actually this thread will may be change the way I see them.

sothisisspring · 28/05/2018 22:36

I ended up staring at one for ages the first time I saw one as I had no clue what it was. It was a petite lady as well who erected this huge tent things around her in a cafe and I just had no idea what she was doing.

I think they are great if they make mothers more confident to bf but honestly do think they draw the eye rather than being discreet.

buddy79 · 28/05/2018 22:46

I too think this is a shitty and judgmental comment. Feeding a baby is hard enough without other people, particularly other Mothers, making snarky remarks. I had a cover, in the event I only used it once or twice as I found it physically easier to feed without it, but as others said it gave me confidence to leave the house with newborn when I really wanted to breastfeed but was also very anxious about showing the general public my nipples, for many, many reasons I won’t go into here. It is none of your beeswax what method anyone else uses to feed their child, there are all sorts of equipment / clothing out there that each can try to find what suits them and their baby best.

Eastcoastmost · 28/05/2018 23:13

I’m British but live in the US. One child born in each country. In London I knew one mum who used a cover. Here it is pretty much everyone. It’s misogyny at play again, cover the woman lest a poor man see a glimpse of flesh...

Fruitcorner123 · 28/05/2018 23:20

sorry this thread just reminded me of this

community.babycenter.com/post/a57103099/if_you_need_to_breastfeed_please_cover_yourself_thank_you_lmao

firstimer30s · 28/05/2018 23:25

I use one because I feel way more comfortable BFing in public without worrying about exposing myself. It has helped me keep BFing. Also used it on an airplane when we were sat right next to the loos and literally every old man or lady stopped to look at the baby while waiting for the loo.
I think they’re great because they provide yet another option of how to feed.

RaymondHolt · 28/05/2018 23:36

I sometimes use mine, sometimes I don't. Don't really care if it draws attention or not. I have huge boobs and the two tops don't really work for me. Not using one would be a lot more attention seeking in our society.

Stillnotready · 28/05/2018 23:40

I’m far too old really to comment here, as I gave up breast feeding over 18 years ago, but they certainly are curious things to my way of thinking.
I used to drape a muslin over myself if out and about and had a baby to feed, and that helped when said baby would be more interested in the surroundings than milk, and i
didn’t want to spray everywhere, but I can’t help but feel it’s a sad world we live in when mums feel they have to cover up, and I’m rather taken by @eastcoastmost comment about mysogeny at play here.

HelloFreedom · 28/05/2018 23:45

Well as a FTM (that's fourth time mother) who has spent nearly 7 years of my life breastfeeding, I love them. So don't assume all covered women find it difficult or embarrassing. Some of us just want to be covered up.

Stillnotready · 28/05/2018 23:54

But I wonder what the ‘covered up’ is all about?
I don’t recall ever feeling the need to cover up, and my friends neither. Maybe we were all just old hippies
and snap I also spent almost 6 years feeding my 4

DoJo · 29/05/2018 00:28

Maybe they feel super happy and confident using them, in which case I'll shut up and support them

So would you not support someone who was using one because they didn't feel confident? Surely they would need more support if anything? I don't really see why your support is conditional to be honest - women breastfeed in a variety of different ways, and it's really none of anyone else's business how they feel most comfortable getting the job done.

YouBetterWORK · 29/05/2018 02:30

I have one, I don't like the tops because I live in dresses and therefore can't just pop out a nipple, the whole (large) boob comes out. I also have a fast let down and if it's been a while then there is the risk of squirting out milk.

DD is also a fidgeter, the apron keeps her less distracted. It has a rigid top so air gets in and I can see her. I don't feel under any pressure to wear it, I'd rather wear it than have a flailing DD on a fully exposed boob which may be shooting out milk everywhere is all. And because it's fixed around my neck I don't need to worry it's going to get pulled off by DD like a muslin might, creating more faff.

CluelessMummy · 29/05/2018 02:49

Biscuit Yes you're a first time mother who doesn't have to also wrangle an active toddler. Good luck keeping those two tops in perfect position when you have to dash after your other kid. Quit judging other mums, ffs.

SnuggyBuggy · 29/05/2018 03:58

I'm just not comfortable with people seeing my post pregnancy bare breasts and am pretty rubbish at discreet feeding.

Swipe left for the next trending thread