Ice cream cafe has given my daughter a dairy free ice cream.. with dairy in it. Livid!

[Cleothelabrador]

Hello
I don't think I'm being unreasonable, just posting here for traffic.
My daughter is 5, has a dairy allergy and reacts badly when she has even very small amount.
We've just been for ice cream where I did the usual cone/ice cream ingredients check & repeated about 3 times that she can't have dairy. As I always do. Especially as this happened at a different cafe before.
I used to ask for ingredients but it all felt a bit neurotic & I stopped. I'll start again now.
They put some sprinkles on the top which I didn't see & my daughter told me about after severe sore throat, tummy ache, sore skin & swollen eye... I asked for the ingredients of the ice cream and they told me & stated no dairy so it was almost def the sprinkles. We left and then ran into the manager later on & I told him what had happened & he agreed the sprinkles have dairy in.
We swapped phone numbers.
Last time I reported to trading standards and never went there again.
This time I know I should do the same but it doesn't seem enough.
My daughter is now asleep.
Her whole day has been ruined and that's so unfair. Also potentially tomorrow, a day she has been looking forward for weeks, & have pre-paid for an expensive day out & taken the day off work. WWYD?
For so many, dairy can be fatal.
Why do so many places get away with this?

I'm not sure what the OP did wrong here - she asked for dairy free ice cream an dairy free sprinkles and was handed an ice cream which she passed to her daughter. How was she supposed to know by looking at it that they had used a contaminated spoon, or even that the sprinkles might not have been the correct ones? If you could see cross-contaminants we wouldn't all have to be so insistent when telling servers about allergies! I feel like a bit of a pillock asking about fryers to check whether 'gluten free' chips are cooked in oil that has been used for breaded products etc, but I have to take their word for it that they haven't dropped a slice of bread in there, brushed in crumbs from elsewhere or dusted my plate gently with flour before handing it to me!

Lettuce and Miggledy -

Yes I've encountered some like this, but they're quite easy to deal with really, I'm polite and professional when they demand about gluten (or whatever) free products, even when the brand of bread or soya milk we carry is 'wrong' (still gf or df but not their brand) and smile through the endless "why isn't xyz gluten free" the only 3 things on a menu of 20 that fucking aren't and give them what they want. And then when a df and gf orders a massive slice of cake and cream point out with a smile that it contain dairy and gluten and with them saying they're on gf and df diets I'd strongly recommend they choose another option as that choice contains copious amounts of both........
End of the day though it's not down to me why someone wants a whatever free meal, just that they do and that's my job. If someone wants to give me hassle over the brand of bread or the 3 options on the menu that don't meet their needs, then order something that clearly doesn't, despite advice, then it says more about them than me.

Anyone who has done level 2 food hygiene knows there are 14 major allergens, and that a food business should be able to state on demand whether anything they serve contains any one of them. Best practice is a comprehensive allergen matrix regularly updated to reflect a change in core ingredients, and available to waiting staff to check it give to the customer to check.

There is a shocking number of places that are not only incapable of telling you what is safe, they'll lie rather than find out. I'm allergic to soya and got sick of asking what oil was being used, only to be told vegetable oil. Every time I pushed, I was told it was definitely not soya because it was vegetable. And every time I made them get the tin, it was soya.

Every one of these establishments had a minimum 3 on the scores on the doors rating. I'd personally like to see a rating of 1 awarded automatically if the restaurant cannot produce a comprehensive allergen matrix on request, in the same way as they get a 1 if they can't show the EHO the SFBB diary.

My staff would have had a disciplinary in the case OP mentioned, but that's because I ran a completely gluten free coffee shop, and all staff were trained thoroughly in allergens. We couldn't cater for all of them, but at least we knew which ones we could, and made sure to prevent any contamination between dairy, non-dairy, nuts, no nuts, etc. And, yes, had an allergen menu on hand that covered everything we served

Hi there, just to say that at our local I saw the server putting sprinkles on another ice cream by turning the ice cream upside down and dipping it in the sprinkle pot, oblivious to the risk of cross-contamination. It’s possible this happened and another server wouldn’t have known that they had done it. It is ludicrous the risks people take because of a lack of understanding. My son is dairy allergic, and I have had anaphylaxis at an ice cream parlour where they substituted an ingredient with peanut butter without telling me. All my sympathy, it’s so tough to walk the line between being cautious and trying to give them a ‘normal’ experience.

I agree with SimonBridges that not everyone seems to understand what a constitutes a real allergy. We regularly have European teachers staying with us when they bring a party of children over to learn English. I don't mind catering for most vegetarians, for people avoiding pork or similar. My own mother was a (medically diagnosed) coeliac. But I do get really irritated by people who say they're lactose intolerant and then proceed to eat meals containing milk or cheese when I've made them a special, separate meal. They suffer no ill effects.
So many people who claim to have intolerances are really just fussy eaters. I'm perfectly happy to feed people what they like, no need to dress it up as an allergy or intolerance.

I have had allergies my whole life and the only way you can avoid cross contamination is in your own home. Severe allergies can occur even if you go near an allergen. I really wouldn’t trust cafes or restaurants. It may be extreme but I wouldn’t trust my daughters health to other people.

Hi all
My daughter was loads better today
I'm so relieved and so was she as she almost missed her big day out!
I'm in the process of reporting the cafe to trading standards (they basically admitted they didn't have separate scoops) & that their sprinkles contain dairy.
Not good enough to take their word for it that they have made changes. Someone else's kid (or an adult) could be seriously ill or die.
Infuriating but true.

If your daughter has a dairy allergy why take her to an ice cream parlour?

You seem to me to be typical of the over-entitled "I'm a special case" mentality which is slowly turning this country into a nation of wankers.

Grumpy...thank goodness someone mentioned this!!
It's now the law to be able to tell a customer which of the 14 allergens are in their food!
www.food.gov.uk/safety-hygiene/allergy-and-intolerance
If they don't provide a good enough answer keep asking and ask to see their paperwork to prove it!

Strygil

If your daughter has a dairy allergy why take her to an ice cream parlour?

It isn't an ice cream parlour, it's a cafe that sells ice-cream and they claim to sell dairy-free ice-cream. I have been taking my daughter to a different ice-cream place for years where they have separate utensils and have an understanding of allergies. Never any issues

You seem to me to be typical of the over-entitled "I'm a special case" mentality which is slowly turning this country into a nation of wankers.

Nope, just think places that sell food and claim to cater for different dietary requirements should do what they say and do it safely, without putting people's health and life at risk. If that makes me a wanker then what does that make them?

If your daughter has a dairy allergy why take her to an ice cream parlour?

Presumably because dairy free ice cream exists, and this ice cream parlour sells it. And seeing as they sell it, that's an indication that they welcome customers who need dairy free. But they haven't quite grasped the idea of all parts of the ice cream needing to be dairy free including the toppings. That's pretty dim of them and Op is right to let them know so it doesn't happen to another child/adult.

I've no idea what you mean by a 'nation of wankers' - people who have allergies so take precautions so that they don't become ill ? Op wasn't saying she's a special case, she went to a parlour that offers dairy free ice cream. People who are ignorant about allergies and how serious they can be and dismiss them are the only wankers I can think of.

I'm surprised you give her Oreos... when their own website says it's not suitable for dairy free first because of cross contamination...

The mind boggles...

Oreos are marketed as suitable for vegans....perhaps they need to rethink that!

What happens when your daughter eats dairy?

Tbh iv met so many people who claim their children have a dairy "allergy" when its an intolerance .

The 2 are different.

Poor little girl. I hope she feels better in the morning.

AFAIK Oreos don't advertise themselves as being vegan. I'm pretty sure that if you ask them if they're suitable for vegans they will say no because of the milk cross contamination.

Having said that, they are still accepted as being vegan in vegan communities because they don't actually contain any animal products.

The cross contamination warning is for severe allergy sufferers and not really for people avoiding certain foods on ethical grounds.

NoMud: re-read the OP.
“severe sore throat, tummy ache, sore skin & swollen eye... ” just from dairy in sprinkles.

Sometimes, you know, people do have an actual allergy. And know the meaning of the word.

@cherrybath

Most people with lactose intolerance can eat cheese without ill effects as it only contains trace amounts of lactose.

They might not actually be lying to you.

That's scary and horrible for your daughter too.

Rather than the cause being the sprinkles it might be that your DD is becoming increasingly sensitized to the allergen so is having allergic responses to smaller and smaller quantities including cross-contamination (e.g using the same scoop-spoon for dairy and non-dairy ice cream OR the server not washing their hands after serving another dairy ice cream).

I am allergic to shellfish. I had a few "vegetarian" spring rolls and came out in hives. Turned out they had oyster sauce in them. When you tell people about allergies they think you're just being fussy.

You are not being unreasonable at all. I would be as equally angry, the staff should be trained on what the processes is if a customer asks for non dairy ( they are offering it so should be completely aware of the importance)
I feel you should write to the owner or pop back in and explain that your child has suffered - is suffering because of the shops incompetence. It’s ridiculous!
I would invoice the shop for the day out in full. As a business owner it would be the least I could do so I’m sure they should do the same.

I would of reported them as well. Food allergies are dangerous. I knew someone once who worked in a hotel and the chef didn't take food allergy seriously and the customer ended up in the back of an ambulance because they went to anaphylaxis. I also have a food allergy me and DH ordered wraps at McDs they were labelled wrong and I became unwell. I complained on the spot. You should complain and if they don't take you seriously take it further and I hope your daughter feels better.

OP, I am very sorry and happy the Big Day Out is a go!

Our dd is allergic to sulpha drugs bc she needed to take them when she was a toddler with urinary reflux. When she was a few years over taking them, she got a uti.

She was given the same drug but her lips, face and THROAT began to swell. We gave her benadryl and on Dr advice rushed to hospital. Bc they feared her throat would swell shut.

Bottom line: she has a Cascading Allergy. They warned us that the next time could be fatal. Hence the CASCADING part; cascadingly worse every time she had a reaction.

Please consider this with your dd. If her reaction seems to be more sensitive than last time or normal.

To the rest of you who are being unkind: stop. Yes, there are plenty of exaggerated illnesses but who are any of us to judge a sick child or worried mother. Her child is not a 20 something trying to get her friends to change restaurants.

Unless you have prayed all the way to a hospital that your child won't die or comforted a crying, frightened child who thinks she is going to die bc of the severe warnings from Drs, you are not really on the same page.

Yes Toad, my DF's one.

NoMud: re-read the OP.“severe sore throat, tummy ache, sore skin & swollen eye... ” just from dairy in sprinkles

you should prob read the thread, it wasn;t the sprinkles!

Look, OP gave her allergic kid something to eat without even looking at it, and without checking that they used a new scoop. Shop cross contaminated.
Shop was wrong, OP was wrong. Joint responsibility.