Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say how proud I am of DD2 (17)

29 replies

MaitlandGirl · 28/05/2018 14:06

DD2 has just split up with her boyfriend of 6 mths. He was her first serious boyfriend and I’m so proud of how she’s handled everything.

He started out as a nice lad, but lately I realised he was getting controlling, wasn’t very respectful of her as a person and was gaslighting her.

I offered advice and she told me she’d already decided to end it with him as she “deserves better”.

There was an incident in school today and she told him straight up that he was scaring her and being disrespectful (which the teacher overheard and dealt with immediately).

I’m so proud of her - she’s had a lot of issues with friends letting her down and I think he targeted her as she was vulnerable but she’d rather be sitting alone at school than still involved with the ex.

She’s a much stronger person than I was at her age and I’m so proud that it didn’t take a marriage and children before she realised he was no good.

OP posts:
Haggisfish · 28/05/2018 14:07

Good for her and you. You’re right to be proud!

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/05/2018 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ginnotginger · 28/05/2018 20:05

Not everyone on MN is in the UK Smile

Well done your dd. You are right to be proud of her.

Original poster
MaitlandGirl · 28/05/2018 21:05

Allthebest

I’m in Australia, rural NSW currently freezing my arse off in 3C at 6am on Tuesday morning.

I love how what you took my my post was the assumption it was bullshit as DD2 was supposedly at school on a BH.

OP posts:
Babybearsporij · 28/05/2018 21:08

Wow, she sounds very mature for her age. Well done OP, credit to you to raising such a strong young woman.

Sarahplane · 28/05/2018 21:10

Allthebest
Scottish schools aren't off today either.

MaitlandGirl
well done to your daughter and to you. you're right to be proud of her

ShyOyster · 28/05/2018 21:11

Well done to you and your DD! I would be very proud too!!! Flowers

Btw I’m in Scotland and schools weren’t off today either...

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/05/2018 21:12

She does sound strong OP. That's such a good thing. Well done your DD.

ArsenalsPlayingAtHome · 28/05/2018 21:16

Well done to her and you.

She's learned self respect and self worth from you, most likely, OP.

It is one of the most important life lessons that we can teach our children, in particular, our daughters.

I'm really pleased for you both..what a relief for you! Mn and real life are full of women who at some point got dragged down by some misogynistic bully, and didn't realise till years/decades. I know that there are far too many men in abusive relationships, too, which is just as sad.

Be proud!

Copperbonnet · 28/05/2018 21:18

Allthebest there are thousands of MNers who aren’t based in England, lots of whom aren’t even based in the U.K.

Mind blowing I know.

Copperbonnet · 28/05/2018 21:20

Well done to Ms Maitland.

Original poster
MaitlandGirl · 29/05/2018 05:14

Thanks everyone- I’m so proud of her.

Unfortunately he confronted her again today and was very aggressive in the way he spoke to her. He got right up in her face and she was so scared she started crying.

She called me from the girls toilets crying too scared to come out so I had to get DP to call the office so someone could go and get her.

It’s all such a mess for her - she graduates school this year and has only got 4 mths left and has two (very small) classes with him. She just wants him to leave her alone so she can study in peace and get the grades she needs for uni next year but he’s not listening to her.

The school have arranged for a meeting with the school liaison police team so he can be officially warned about harassing her. If that doesn’t work the next step is an AVO so he can’t legally go near her.

DD2 was determined to stay in school today so she’s still there and he’s been sent home. She was so strong yesterday (and pissed off with it all) but today she fell apart. I doubt she’s impressed that we contacted the school today but it needed to be done.

OP posts:
StepBackNow · 29/05/2018 05:47

Well done to your daughter.

Reported for troll hunting.

Heismyopendoor · 29/05/2018 05:50

Some scottish schools were off. Was an in service day here yesterday.

NewYearNewMe18 · 29/05/2018 06:01

Rather trigger happy when someone is asking for clarification

Monty27 · 29/05/2018 06:04

OP my DD is now almost 25. I have always taught her that relationships should be about feeling happy not sad.
It seems to have worked.Smile

MrsDilber · 29/05/2018 06:04

You deserve to feel proud off her.

Hope he gets the message and backs off.

Well done to your DD.

Lilacwine1 · 29/05/2018 06:43

Must be very worrying for you all. Your daughter doesn't deserve to be treated in this way. Have you thought about asking the school to have a word with his parents?

Original poster
MaitlandGirl · 29/05/2018 11:14

Lilacwine1 we actually know his parents and unfortunately they wouldn’t believe him capable of this as they’ve only ever seen him being the ‘good’ boyfriend. They’re lovely people but very blinded to their ‘baby boy’.

The school will have had to contact his parents as he was sent home and he’s under 18 but he’s been telling everyone that he doesn’t know why she’s ignoring him and why shes refusing to talk to him. What he’s not telling people is that this comes after weeks of him gaslighting her, telling her he’s been working every night after school to get the money so they can travel once school ends (he was drinking with his friends not working) then blaming her for him having to ‘turn down a shift’ when she invited him out, getting aggressive when she doesn’t reply to his messages instantly but left her hanging for days when she messaged him etc.

She blocked him on all social media and his phone number yesterday so he can’t contact her outside of school.

The school have previously put him on notice that he’s at risk of being asked to leave school due to a ‘non serious attempt at yr12’ and I doubt this latest incident will do him any favours.

DD2 is a middle distance runner and not at all interested in any kind of contact sport but tonight she asked our neighbour if he can teach her self defence. I’m pleased she’s going to learn how to defend herself but I’m gutted that she’s obviously so scared of someone she thought she could have had a future with.

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 29/05/2018 12:07

Stepbacknow - keep waiting then

Mammysin · 29/05/2018 12:10

School as usual in Ireland ( not mid term break and Monday not a bank holiday )

DevilsAttic · 29/05/2018 13:01

I don't know your DD but I'm proud of her. I wish I'd been as strong as she was and fully agree she's learnt from you Flowers

Lilacwine1 · 29/05/2018 17:33

I really hope it all gets resolved very soon. Will you keep us updated on the situation.Flowers

Tit4TatandAllThat · 29/05/2018 17:52

You're right to be proud, she's young and smart. Hope she gets the results she needs for Uni.

As for some pp, ffs this is hardly troll worthy is it Confused

Original poster
MaitlandGirl · 27/06/2018 01:06

Just thought I’d come back to this with a bit of an update.

The ex boyfriend has gone completely off the rails and the police are involved. Nothing to do with DD but he’s got himself into serious trouble and from what I understand illegal weapons charges are expected.

DD2 is counting her lucky stars that she dumped him when she did.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread