To think that if you have a southern English accent you are allowed to speak less at parties?

[interuptus]

Because people think you're posh therefore rich, therefore wrapped in cotton wool by your family, therefore an ignorant snob, therefore judgemental, therefore unable to contribute anything of value or funny or interesting.
I live in the north but grew up in the south and I've lost count of the amount of times I've been treated like I'm a "soft southerner" No one knows (because they haven't asked) that I grew up on a council estate, had a heroin addict step parent, my mum left us when I was 1, I failed all my GCSEs and have had to work really hard to get qualified in a reasonably good job and lead a stable happy life.
It's just assumed I'm posh so I need to shut up.

"a significant number of my colleuges have made incorrect assumptions and based prejudices on the fact that I went to a private school, purely based on my accent."

Well, how are they supposed to know? If someone speaks RP I also presume they went to a private school, unless told otherwise.

I am north western, live abroad and my team are from Yorkshire and Ireland. We take the piss out of each other's accents and sterotypes all the time. Its light hearted banter. I used to live in London and the amount of comments about whippets and flat caps I got was insane. Just learn to give as good as you get OP

Okay well not cockney, but hyou know what I mean, not middle class, from London, dropping their Ts etc etc. It's the same as someone with a scouse or Geordie accent - the local accented language whereas there people from all these areas who don't speak like that.

meh I grew up in greater Manchester I have an accent from the northwest my friend tells me she likes my voice as I pronounce everything correctly my mum drummed it into me to pronounce words correctly 8 don't think it's anything to do with accents tbh.

A southern dd at a northern university was constantly being told by so called friends that she was posh (meant disparagingly), parents must be rich with a huge house, etc.
She found it very wearing.
And these were supposedly intelligent girls at a Russell Group uni.

Inverted snobbery plus hefty chips on shoulders, seemed to me.

Years ago when living in the Middle East I had a northern friend who often liked saying that all southerners were snobs.

Since Dh and I are both southerners, I asked whether she thought Dh and I were snobs.
'No!'
'Well, then.'
I think she just enjoyed thinking so - whether inverted snobbery or shoulder chip I don't know - maybe both.

What's an SE accent? Does that include East Anglia, because a traditional Norfolk/Suffolk accent seems remarkably similar to the (beloved) Westcountry accent. And that's markedly different from the neighbouring Essex accent.

Also, I dont have an accent- how be that described?

Tbf, OP, when attending a party most people would usually expect to have fairly superficial conversations on current affairs, jobs/schools, the weather and stuff. Heroin addiction is not your average party topic.

'Southern accent'
So if I had a Zomerzet () accent, people would assume I was posh because it's southern? Not everyone in the south speaks like the Queen

"Also, I dont have an accent- how be that described?"

That would be described as impossible because everyone has an accent.

I've noticed same as OP. Grew up north with Midlands parents so has mild southern accent. Immediately branded posh wherever I went up north, so I adapted to northern accent.
Came down south and got lots of "that's a great Northern accent, where are you from."
Gradually I lost it again.

I can put it on quite strongly if I have to, but most of the time now all you'd notice is that I pronounce things like bath and grass the northern way, and rarely get comments when I'm south.

every accent is different though a north eastern accent is very different to Northwest but Liverpool and Manchester are both inn the northwest but very different accents

Inverted snobbery is real, but a south of england accent is not in itself posh! I know this and can distinguish RP from merely south of England. I've been on the receiving end of inverse snobbery in my own country and snobbery in the UK, but, I usually always won people at work over in the end. I'm not going to parties with anybody at all, at either end of the socio economic spectrum. Boo. Poor me Poor me some Champagne. I think eventually people accept you on the basis of your personality no matter what preconception they may have had to begin with.

I have a very nice (southern)voice. It was drummed into me as a child to speak well and I hate hate hate going to see my northern inlaws as they mercilessly take the piss. I don't want to have to change the way I speak but sometimes it can be really upsetting.

I'm from Newcastle with a Geordie accent I still live here when on holiday ECT you do get comments about accent they all want you to say howay man ECT and if I lived in London maybe I'd get comments but I know a few people from London who live here and I've never heard anyone say anything bad about their accents or not let them talk where abouts do you live op ? maybe they are not nice people or are they trying to tease you ? the only time I've experienced it is if on holiday or visiting friends but no one has ever been horrible about it but I have been asked to say certain phrases and they laugh but I just think they are teasing me.

I've lived in lots of different places so I wouldn't even know what my accent is. I grew up mainly in the north, went to a private school, then as an adult moved to the south, then when I got married moved up north again. So there's no way anyone could work out where I'm from from the way I speak! My DDs are growing up with strong Yorkshire accents though!

I think it's only an issue if you allow it to be, personally.

I’m Northern and live in the south and get the piss taken regularly. I don’t have a strong accent and have always been quite well spoken despite coming from very broad Yorkshire stock.

I get called Northern Monkey down here and told how posh and southern I sound up north. I can’t win 😄

In all honesty though it doesn’t bother me one bit. None of it is said with malice.

If yours is though you may want to rethink your friendship group.

No one should ever make nasty comments about how other people speak. It's just rude. However it's not really as simple as Southern accent posh, is it? You can have the regional London accent and hat immediately marks you out whether you are in Newcastle or London as not posh as it were. I don't really think it is a North South divide. Geordies can tell the difference between those two kinds of accents London working class or whatever we are going to call it and what for want of a better word is "received pronunciation", RP and ditto in Newcastle you can also distinguish those with the geordie accent and those with RP, not that any of it much matters.

It goes both ways.

I’m from the NW and got the piss taken out of me at uni by southerners with “posh” accents.

I used to work in Liverpool and got the piss taken out of me for sounding “posh” by scousers (and half my family are scouse).

Personally I don’t recall a time I have ever openly taken the piss out of someone’s accent. But some people do. Doesn’t particularly annoy me.

"I have a very nice (southern)voice. "

Shouldn't other people be the judge of whether your voice is nice or not. Or you could at least fake some modesty out of politeness!

Well it beats living in the South when you come from one of the other countries of the UK. When people ask you to repeat something and then laugh. Or ask to speak to an English person as they can’t understand you. Or tell you to fuck off back to where you come from.

I have never, ever come across a Southerner being made to be quiet. I thought being ‘soft’ wasn’t about social class, it is more about not being able to cope with the bad weather due to Southerners having lived in more temperate climes. At least that’s what it means where I’m from!