To think that if you have a southern English accent you are allowed to speak less at parties?

[interuptus]

Because people think you're posh therefore rich, therefore wrapped in cotton wool by your family, therefore an ignorant snob, therefore judgemental, therefore unable to contribute anything of value or funny or interesting.
I live in the north but grew up in the south and I've lost count of the amount of times I've been treated like I'm a "soft southerner" No one knows (because they haven't asked) that I grew up on a council estate, had a heroin addict step parent, my mum left us when I was 1, I failed all my GCSEs and have had to work really hard to get qualified in a reasonably good job and lead a stable happy life.
It's just assumed I'm posh so I need to shut up.

This is possibly the most incredibly specific AIBU I’ve ever read

Oh well. That'll balance all the times I've been made to feel like a Northern oik by posh twats in London won't it?

Indeed so. I spent the first few years of my working life in London and some of my colleagues never allowed me to open my mouth without taking the piss.

I've had this. DH is from way, way up north - I'm not. His friends would literally take the piss out of my accent every time I opened my mouth. When it got boring and frankly unfunny after a couple of years I was branded mardy. We moved a away for a while so it was bearable when we only saw them a couple of times a year. Then DC came along for all of us and DS picked up my accent, they started taking the piss out of him, so I was all great "that means your DS is fair game to me" they stopped. We don't see so much of them anymore ...

I'm a southerner with a fairly posh accent, now living in the north west and I've never noticed this. Occasional lighthearted remarks about accent - yes. But certainly not any feeling that my opinions are any less valid than anyone else's.

Yes, I've had that in the NW as well, and I'm not even from the UK. My learned-at-school accent has been the butt of southerner 'banter' that usually has to be pointed out to me, because, well, I'm not southern and don't recognise it. One of my DC, born and bred here but with an accent similar to mine, has got comments from randos out in public as well. It's only been from people who were otherwise a bit annoying anyway, though. So yeah, maybe the people who are doing this to you are just not very nice. By now I just slightly raise my eyebrow in a confused/you must be an idiot to comment on people like that kind of way.

oh Northerners can be very chippy about southerners, no doubt.

Once a Northern football fan grabbed both my arse cheeks and squeezed hard, in Covent Garden. Then when I reacted with shock, he laughed and called me a soft Tory voting Sootherner.

I broke my glass on his head...:)

Then only a few years ago, I met one that was doing a course with me. And she started about 'ignorant rich southerners'....while living in a free family flat in Brighton...:D Sadly I was too mature to break anything on her head...

I had it a lot in the NW - but there were a lot of chippy cunts in my city. It's tedious beyond belief - and don't get me started on "I thought you were posh but then I realised you were southern." Incredibly boring trying to define people by their background. My recommendation is that you avoid hanging out with people of low intellect, and, preferably, move...

You could be Scottish therefore be a heroin addict drunken scrounger or an uneducated crofter out chasing haggis all day.

Never had a problem. Although I got teased a lot about my Southern (posh) BBC accent when I went to school on the outskirts of Liverpool . Some ignorant people will wind you up if you speak differently to them, but in my experience, most people are pretty friendly as long as you have something interesting to say. Perhaps that's the problem?

Personally I wouldn't even venture North of Birmingham. Or Wolverhampton at a push, as long as I didn't have to get out of the car.

It's an odd juxtaposition - in the USA northern accents are seen as denoting more education and affluence than southern ones. And the Brits who visit generally can't hear the difference between them at all.

" And the Brits who visit generally can't hear the difference between them at all."

but we weren't talking about 'the USA' were we?

obviously I can hear the difference between Massachusetts and Alabama, and that is just from TV...so much TV...

I've moved around a fair bit, in the past, and there are twats all over the place who are suspicious of someone who doesn't have the same accent as them.

These days I normally respond to the"you're not from around here" jibes with "No, I've only been up here for 30 years"

When my DD started school, she learnt to code switch very quickly. Broad Lancs outside the house, posh Southern with her family. Sometimes mid conversation as she crossed the threshold. Moved South, never heard her speak Lancs again.

The worst snobs I've met are working class northeners. I laugh at them inside when they make their stupid remarks. Plus, some sound utterly thick so they are in no place to judge other people.

OP it really depends which southern accent doesn’t it? Though I’m not saying it is any way right, someone with an Essex/London borders accent or someone with a mid/north Kent accent isn’t likely to be thought of as posh in the same way as someone with a gentler, more generic south east accent.

Southern English accents aren't always posh.
Northern accents aren't always 'the opposite of posh'

There are many reasons why people aren't heard at parties. In the case of my family, it's because I have a very loud DF and DSis and Dcousins.

I'm a southerner in North Wales, I am fortunate to have had an easier upbringing than the OP.
However, a significant number of my colleuges have made incorrect assumptions and based prejudices on the fact that I went to a private school, purely based on my accent. I didn't I went to the local county primary and the the local comprehensive, the only one in the area, whereas up in North Wales they generally seem to have a choice of schools in most areas.

It does piss me off sometimes.

Depends what you mean. Cockney and Geordie will be regarded by many as working class. Those from private schools in the NE and London probably speak pretty much the same as each other.

No they don't. Many kids who have been through RGS, Durham high school for girls and the likes still have a local accent, just a much softer, less bouncy version with fewer colloquialisms.

Xenia - not sure if you have noticed but very few people under 45 speak 'cockney' any more.

I got it a lot when I was at uni in the north. I laughed along with it though and ramped up my ‘poshness’ by several decibels.

I think you just have the wrong friends tbh.

What kind of friends don’t know anything about your upbringing anyway?

I’m Scottish and have plenty of Southern English friends who don’t have any problems with regards to their accents even in Glaswegian pubs.

On the other hand I (with my terribly naice Scottish accent) have been thrown out of a Southern English pub for being a “Jock”.

There are arseholes everywhere as well as nice people.

You just need to find the nice people.

Eh what? Southern English? You mean like estuary Essex, London, kent, Suffolk, Luton, Bracknell, etc etc etc? nice accents there OP, lol.

Southern England isn’t an accent. And it isn’t all nice. Grow up

My heart bleeds for you