Anxiety is so bad in case of HIV risk feeling upset and guilty

[Stuckinanxiety]

I know it's my anxiety talking bollocks in my head. My friend has HIV, I'm reasonably well informed on it, I don't usually think about it when we're spending time together.

However we were at a party last night and she got very drunk and wet herself and vomited. I helped her get sorted out and get changed and definitely came into contact with the bodily fluids slightly.

I was fairly drunk but ok myself, but I think it's the alcohol making me feel so anxious in case I'm at risk now of getting it? I feel so guilty for even thinking this way, like I'm letting my friend down or something, but I'm so anxious I'm considering taking PEP (the pill you can take if you've been exposed to the virus).

Need a reality check. This is anxiety isn't it?

This sounds like a post from the 80’s! Do some bloody research!

How could you have caught HIV? Not all fluids pass HIV on, for example you can't get HIV from kissing.

Take the pill if it will calm your anxiety. I'm a very anxious person and would be terrified of someone who I knew had an incurable disease that it was possible to catch, however remote the possibility was.

Get tested, but think you have to wait 28 days?

But it's not possible to catch it the way the OP is describing.

True. but her anxiety is taking over so she needs 100% reassurance.
I’m certain clinic staff have tested people for less - they’re used to dealing with anxious people.

I wasn't replying to you surfer. I know that's what you meant! The poster before...

Oops! Sorry

Op- I have no personal experience and limited knowledge of the HIV virus, so am not qualified to answer that aspect, although you seem to have received fairly sound advice above.

However, I am familiar with anxiety and can imagine the dread (whether warranted/misinformed or not) that you feel right now. So I ask you this: what is the one thing you can do to stop yourself from continuing to worry about this?

Is it having a test?
Is it talking to a Dr?
Is it speaking with the HIV trust?

Because in my experience with anxiety, until you’ve done that one thing to alleviate the way you feel, you’ll continue to feel that way.

I do hope that you can get past this quickly and that you feel brighter soon

Separate issue - you seem like a good friend to look after your friend so well, once you’ve dealt with the above, do check in with her about your worries. Sometimes it just takes someone to ask the question

OP, in the kindest way this is nothing to do with HIV and everything to do with your anxiety. I have OCD that focuses around health, so I know how you feel. Stay off google. The chance of you catching HIV from this are literally so close to impossible. But you know that, it’s your anxiety telling you otherwise. Make a GP appointment to discuss that. Maybe try and pinpoint what you’re personally stressed about - stress always causes my OCD to becoming worse. I can be fine, have a shit day, and then become convinced my headache is a brain tumour, and I’m crippled with anxiety for days.

If she has an undetectable viral load you are completely safe. cudbywestrangers has it correct. Here is a link to one of the "PARTNER" trial studies which proves this: jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2533066 that one is about people who have condomless sex with HIV-infected partners with an undetectable viral load - not one of them caught HIV. Remember these people are living together and exchanging bodily fluids regularly etc. Your risk is basically non-existent especially given you only have been in contact with urine and vomit.

I hear your anxiety though and that you acknowledge the facts but nevertheless can't help feeling anxious regardless. Would it help to talk this through with a health professional e.g. GP?

On modern drugs HIV sufferers can even have penatrative sex and carry a baby to term without passing on infection so the chance of infection for you is vanishingly small.

I'd read up on how HIV is contracted, that will put your mind at rest. If you still need further reassurance, then you can get tested. Don't pay for a test, that's a complete waste of money, your local sexual health service will test you for free. You'll probably be asked to wait 4 weeks before testing, and you may be offered POC testing which can give you an indication there and then, with a follow up blood test.

Really though, you won't have caught it from your friend, so please try to stop worrying on that front. Easier said than done I know.

Thanks for your posts. I am wondering if the best thing to do for my anxiety is to be really firm with myself, and keep telling myself how ridiculous the worry is and not go chasing tests etc to appease the anxious thoughts.

Then my imagination runs wild though and I think what if I somehow do have it. I have a partner to think of.

I spent ten years in a hospital collecting information on incidents with HIV or suspected patients (like needle using addicts). I'm not a doctor and didn't analyze them but through my work and the necessary meetings that I was at I have learnt that:

Someone with a undetectable viral load is not contagious.
You need contact with the blood of the patient. Other fluids of the patient are not contagious.
Even with an incident (like accidentally stabbed with used neeldle) the chance of contracting the virus is about 1%

In summary, you'll be fine. Don't worry.

I work in the HIV field and I can absolutely assure you that it’s impossible to get HIV from urine or vomit. It’s never happened once in 30+ years. I have lots of friends with HIV and used to work in direct care in a paediatric setting with children with HIV. It was in a developing country and we rarely had resources for proper medical kit. I had children who injured themselves (think a nose bleed from a fall while playing) and bled on me and I knew there was no risk at all if transmission even without gloves or anything to clean my hands well with. Try to relax. It’s great your friend has been so open about her status and it’s good you were there to take care of her when she needed you.

There's a saying in the medical community which is undetectable=untransmissable. Even if it had been blood, you would likely have been fine.

In addition, urine and vomit are not considered to be transmissable fluids (blood, vaginal secretions, and semen are). You'd also need to come into contact on a mucosal surface or an open would.

Calm down. You are fine.

Don't get a test.

Been there, done that- it's your anxiety you need to manage.

You know there's no ris. I totally understand about the mental gymnastics. That's what I used to call it too!

Try not to ask for lots of reassurance because you know thay doesn't help either!

Ignore the worry. Let it be there. It will fade.

*risk

I’m HIV positive and have learnt loads about it in the past year.

OP I echo the others in that you had absolutely no risk whatsoever, even if your friend has a detectable viral load through not being adherent on her meds. Can I suggest that if she is struggling with her meds/drinking too much that you encourage her to see her GP or clinic consultant? If she’s taking her meds sporadically she might develop a resistance to them and they won’t work as well. If she’s struggling with the HIV diagnosis she could also join the THT forum and chat online to others living with HIV.

Loving how much other posters know about HIV, ways of transmission, U equals U etc

You absolutely cannot contract HIV via urine, vomit or the scratch on your hand op.

There is a forum that you can look up type HIV forum into Google and you will easily find it. You can read advice on there and you will see that HIV can't survive outside the body. I understand your anxiety but try to relax.

Also your friend is probably undetectable.

Murane the PEP therapy is a month long and can have nasty side effects.

OP treat it as a wake up call. Either get more help for your anxiety, or don't drink.

I've been on pep before and had no side affects whatsoever.