Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she’s faking?

670 replies

Appleofmypie · 27/05/2018 14:34

One of my team at work is 14 weeks pregnant. She’s been off sick for 5 weeks with severe hyperemesis and still has a week left on her sick note (she’s being signed off for 2 weeks at a time)

By complete coincidence she is Facebook friends with a friend of mine.

My friend has put some pictures on Facebook this morning of her Greek holiday she’s still on, and my work colleague is in most of them - sunbathing, eating, swimming in the sea, playing volleyball. She has obviously blocked me as she is tagged in the pictures but her name is unclickable.

I’m gonna sound like a complete cow but I think she’s faking her sickness.
She’s on full pay from work and we’re having to pay an agency temp to cover her work too. It’s a small company that is struggling and I doubt we’re going to make any profit this month due to this.

My questions are:

Should I tell/show our boss?
What evidence of hyperemesis does a GP need to see to sign you off or Could it just be on her say so?
Is she actually doing anything illegal?
I know that pregnancy sickness is covered separately to normal in terms of disciplinary but if it’s proven she’s faking could it still be gross misconduct?

Thanks

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 29/05/2018 17:12

Bumping to encourage you to delete this, OP

SalemBlackCat · 29/05/2018 17:25

No, DON'T delete this thread! I want to see what the eventual outcome is.

SalemBlackCat · 29/05/2018 17:26

When does the colleague return to work, Appleofmypie? Because it will be interesting to learn of what finally happens.

bananasandwicheseveryday · 29/05/2018 18:27

My own experience of hg is that I was sick multiple times daily, every day from before I actually tested to the days each of my dcs were born. I was hospitalised several times in each pregnancy, due to the dehydration and the level of ketones in my urine. Like another poster, my lips cracked, my skin texture changed and even blinking was difficult because I was so severely dehydrated. I was on drips and at one stage, needed 3 complete bags before I could produce even a tiny quantity of urine for them to test. When I wasn't in hospital, I was pretty much bedridden and my mum was coming every day to look after me and, during second pregnancy, to look after dc1. I know that some women find it so hard to deal with it, the they end up terminating and whilst we never considered that, the thought of having it again certainly was the deciding factor when we ultimately chose to call our family 'complete ' before we had the number of children we'd always planned to have.
Whilst I know everybody has a different experience, people I've known with the same diagnosis, rather than severe morning sickness, have all been through similar. I find it hard to believe your work colleague truly has hg as I really cannot imagine anyone with that diagnosis being able to cope with the journey, the standing around at the airport, the heat etc.
OP, I think you've done the right thing.

C8H10N4O2 · 29/05/2018 18:40

the sick note says the CF is too ill to work, therefore if you’re too ill to do anything at work, even ‘light duties’, then you’re too ill to be on holiday

That isn't always the case. You may be advised to get completely away from things/change of scene/holiday as part of recovering from a significant illness.

However in that case there would be no reason to hide the fact of being away.

bitzy12 · 29/05/2018 18:51

Only Mumsnet can delete the thread! They may decide not too....but personally I don't think it should be deleted. Op has done nothing wrong

chocnvino · 29/05/2018 19:08

That isn't always the case. You may be advised to get completely away from things/change of scene/holiday as part of recovering from a significant illness.

I want to see the doctor who recommends a foreign holiday for someone off sick with a pregnancy related condition that often involves inpatient hospital treatment...

she is not someone off with stress/depression or so who would benefit from a break away!

heartyrebel · 29/05/2018 19:18

This has just popped up on social media of a news channel here in nz

heartyrebel · 29/05/2018 19:19

Here

To think she’s faking?
rubyandbumpsmum · 29/05/2018 19:29

Oh dear!! Things get out quickly on here it seems

MistAmougstElephants · 29/05/2018 19:41

Sounds like you have a lovely boss, signing up to fbk like that so your kept out of it.

This is a great thread btw! But I understand you may want to report it to HQ for deletion.

Flowerpotbicycle · 29/05/2018 20:52

Will your boss speak to her about it when she’s back from holiday?

Somersetlady · 29/05/2018 20:58

I had hyperem on both pregnancies. No way could i have got on a flight played any kind of sport or sat in the sun.

I wouldnt have gone too far from home even as i needed to go to hospital regularly to get an intravenous drip with vitamins and minerals when my keytones dropped too low.

Show your boss leave the decision up to her. If your colleague has done nothing wrong then she has nothing to fear.

As an employer I would want to know.

chocolateworshipper · 29/05/2018 21:20

Oh look out the window Mist - the lightning is so pretty.

MistAmougstElephants · 29/05/2018 21:34
chocolateworshipper · 29/05/2018 21:38

You'd get more than a slap if you tried to nick my chocolate

CoughLaughFart · 29/05/2018 21:42

while she would have possibly brought this on herself by lying, if she loses her job whilst pregnant it could be terrible for her and I don’t think I could feel great about being a contributing factor in that

You’d feel even worse if you said nothing and lost your own job because of the toll it took on the business.

MistAmougstElephants · 29/05/2018 22:00

chocokateworkshipper wouldn't want your chocolate I know where it's been

...

Ahem...

...

Yes the thread, ACAS are helpful I've had dealings with them. When does the fakar get back? What if she gets another sick note looking all tanned and healthy?! If thats not a CF then I don't know who is.

MistAmougstElephants · 29/05/2018 22:00

Faker*

NewDOOFUSfor18 · 29/05/2018 22:40

Why should the thread be deleted? There is every possibility that some key info has been changed to make it more anonymous...CF may be on holiday in America rather than Greece, she may also be 8 weeks pg rather than 12 weeks etc. I change subtle stuff occasionally to protect my anonymity, that could be the case here.

Carycach100 · 29/05/2018 22:43

I want to see the doctor who recommends a foreign holiday for someone off sick with a pregnancy related condition that often involves inpatient hospital treatment...

you have never heard of convalescence?

SoupDragon · 29/05/2018 22:45

I’ve certainly never heard of convalescence that is planned in advance for a condition that is unpredictable.

CoughLaughFart · 30/05/2018 00:35

Or medically recommended convalescence you don’t tell your boss about.

cantfindausername2 · 30/05/2018 00:44

OP bd mindful that this has been taken up by the media. I saw it on kidspot.

Kate0902900908 · 30/05/2018 02:17

She is taking the royal p*ss!
If you can go on holiday - fligh - transfer - holiday in general then you can go to work.

I think it’s a difficult one but under the circumstances the business is in I would report it. In the long run you could be out of a job If things don’t improve.