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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

That he has a 'weekend' alarm

76 replies

Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:14

Massively pissed off. Went to do something for DH on his phone as he was driving and he has a "weekend alarm" set for 9:59am. I get up EVERY weekend morning, despite the fact I work full time from 8am until 4pm.

I'm so annoyed he's taken this for granted to the point where he has a special weekend alarm.

AIBU to think he's taking the piss?

OP posts:

cadburyegg · 26/05/2018 20:54

Well if he’s expecting an 11:55 lie in I can see why he’s not going to bed til 1am.

You need to have one lie in per weekend each as pp said. That’s what we have always done and we always wake the other by 10am. Usually the small dc jumping on the bed does the trick.

Maisymoo22 · 26/05/2018 20:56

I’d be well miffed at being taken for granted like that.
As op’s have said, agree to a day each at the weekend.
I’d make sure I had Saturday morning, get in first in case he tries to pull a fast one by “forgetting” it’s your turn if you’ve gone for Sunday!!!

HipsterAssassin · 26/05/2018 20:56

You asked him to get up for once with dc and he screamed at you?

Fuck that.

C0untDucku1a · 26/05/2018 20:57

Sleeping did you really assume a man must not be working at all for the woman to be earning more? Jesus.

Op his attitude is disgraceful. I totally understand you. It seemed like he just wasnt waking up. In reality he had no intention of waking up. I understand why the alarm has upset you so much.

Tell him tonight he gets up with the baby tomorrow.

KlutzyDraconequus · 26/05/2018 21:00

well... what a cunt he is.

a decent partner faced with the same request would reply,
"Of course, no problem, I'll make you some breakfast if you like?"
a bare minimum repsonse would have been,
"ok, I'll get up."

a nobhead response is screaming, tantrum, annoyance... AKA .. being a childish little man child.

Ginger1982 · 26/05/2018 21:00

He screamed at you? You have bigger problems.

C0untDucku1a · 26/05/2018 21:00

Sorry i typed too slow. He is clearly a wanker. What options do you have?

BrutusMcDogface · 26/05/2018 21:02

Screamed at you!?

What was he saying? How can he possibly justify being angry with you for such a reasonable request? You leave the house at 6 every day; you must be exhausted by the weekend.

LighthouseSouth · 26/05/2018 21:02

OP "I can bring him tea, coffee, cook him breakfast and nothing changes"

I think you answered your own question there.

Btw what's the point of this guy?

MismatchedPJs · 26/05/2018 21:03

When he's calmed down you need to get out of him why on earth he thinks it's fair for him to have all the lie ins. I can see both sides in a lot of situations but I just can't get my head around how he could possibly think this is fair or a reasonable expectation to put on you. But it's not one for tonight.

How old is your baby? Do you have older children?

slkk · 26/05/2018 21:04

But the time his alarm is set is irrelevant. My husband has his set for about 10 at the weekend. I don’t set my alarm at the weekend, it doesn’t mean he sleeps til 10 and I never get up. We’re both always up way earlier. He just has his set incase a miracle happens and all the children and we sleep in. It’s never happened.

SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2018 21:06

C0untDucku1a no bit when I out earned my husband I didn't consider myself to be the bread winner. We both won bread. Now I'm a SAHP he is the bread winner and I have no bread.

I was also trying to work possible reasons he night feel entitled to time out, before the later messages revealing he's a prat

Italiangreyhound · 26/05/2018 21:25

@Neverender I get up late every day, I am not a morning person. We have two kids who are a lot older than your child and do not need a lot of assistance. But I think a good conversation about who does what would help.

elephantscanring · 27/05/2018 23:35

Oh dear. Agree with Standing.

Why is he screaming at you?

Maisymoo22 · 28/05/2018 08:25

I would just bring dd into bed when she wakes and put her in between the two of you on one of weekend mornings.
Even if you couldn’t sleep properly you could try and read a magazine or go on social media.
If dd was to climb all over dp’s head in the meantime all the better!
If he complains tell him you’re having a lay on and not getting up till 12!
If he goes into the spare room follow him with dd and leave her in there with him!!!
The selfish c¥#t 🤬

LannieDuck · 28/05/2018 08:33

What you're asking for is completely reasonable. He has one of the lie-ins, you have one. Or, as it happens since it's a bank holiday, he has two and you have one.

No reason for screaming at all. No reason for any evenings being ruined.

You said most things were 50:50, so is he usually reasonable?

Maisymoo22 · 29/05/2018 15:29

Sorry LannieDuck, why should he have two???
They have one each and both get up and take their dd somewhere for bank holiday!
Sounds fair to me!

FizzyGreenWater · 29/05/2018 15:32

How do you make a grown up go to bed?

By deleting the weekend alarm, waking him at the same time as you on the weekend instead and getting him into a better sleep routine. :)

MissWilmottsGhost · 29/05/2018 15:38

Why aren’t you kicking his arse out of bed at the weekends?

This!

Why the fuck aren't you encouraging letting the kids jump on his head the moment they wake up?

Fuck me we all like a lie in, but you don't just let him take the piss.

If he stayed in bed until 11.55 his 10am alarm clearly isn't working either.

MyKingdomForBrie · 29/05/2018 15:48

He’s disgusting. How dare he scream at you. Weekends are one lie in each, simple.

Not that it’s a lie in round here really as dd comes running in to see the other parent as soon as she’s up and dressed

TitsalinaBumsquat · 29/05/2018 15:59

What an absolute cock head. A relationship is a partnership - you should be sharing the good and the bad. Me and OH have a lie in each at the weekend. It’s just a given. Why shouldn’t I have a lie in? I’m pregnant now and am sleeping really lightly so sometimes a for go my lie in as I’m awake anyway and he has 2, but that’s my choice.

He sounds like a real charmer!

blackteasplease · 29/05/2018 16:13

I'm fuming for you OP! How dare he scream at you? And how dare he assume that he gets lovely evenings with a guarentee of a lie in while you get none!

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 29/05/2018 16:37

I could’ve written your post a few years ago.

The scenario you describe is what I lived with. And I cited that in the divorce petition.

...and we didn’t have children!

FASH84 · 29/05/2018 16:42

So he deals with the DC every morning Monday to Friday? If this was a reverse and you were a man sneaking off to work early MN would expect you to do the morning bit at weekends, but lunchtime is too late he could sleep in until 8/8:30 and you should get some weekend lay ins too

LannieDuck · 30/05/2018 21:42

@ Maisiemoo

Your suggestion is totally fair :) I only mentioned him having two lie-ins and her having one because that was what she'd been asking for when she asked for the bank hol Monday lie-in.

@ Fash

She gets up earlier than him every day for work. If this was reversed, MN wouldn't be shouting for the man to do both weekend mornings. But they would certainly be shouting for him to do one of them... just as they are here.

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