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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That he has a 'weekend' alarm

76 replies

Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:14

Massively pissed off. Went to do something for DH on his phone as he was driving and he has a "weekend alarm" set for 9:59am. I get up EVERY weekend morning, despite the fact I work full time from 8am until 4pm.

I'm so annoyed he's taken this for granted to the point where he has a special weekend alarm.

AIBU to think he's taking the piss?

OP posts:
Pimpernell182 · 26/05/2018 20:29

Aren't you ever too tired to get up with your dd? Just tell him so next time ffs. Or explain that you'll be taking turns for a lie in from now on. Honestly, I'm sure you're both tired from early starts all week. You do yourself no favours by facilitating this kind of behaviour. Start standing up for yourself or your dd will grow up in a house seeing this type of laziness on the part of the resident man as normal, thus paving the way for some future man to laze around while she does everything. Don't let that happen.

Flyingpompom · 26/05/2018 20:30

Change the alarm for one of the days to 7.30. Start taking turns!

Ginger1982 · 26/05/2018 20:30

Wow, 11.55??? I can't believe you let him lie in until that time. Why didn't you tell him to get up? You need to have a serious conversation with him.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 26/05/2018 20:31

You need to be hardball with this. If he doesn’t get up, the baby will keep crying and get more frantic. It’s his problem. Don’t make it yours always

MismatchedPJs · 26/05/2018 20:33

Address the problem (your lack of lie ins, him taking you for granted) not the symptom (the alarm).

expatinscotland · 26/05/2018 20:35

This needs to be nipped in the bud now. If you're both working FT, you both get a lie-in at the weekend.

fruityb · 26/05/2018 20:36

Even if you’re not both working ft you both deserve a lie in each. My dh always got up with ds one day on the weekend when I was on maternity - he looked forward to spending the time with him more than anything else.

RockinRobinTweets · 26/05/2018 20:42

Wow, 11.55??? I can't believe you let him lie in until that time

Angry

It is not the OPs fault. It shouldn’t be up to her to allow or facilitate anything. He should just do his fair share. It isn’t fair for him to just accept this unless there’s a whole story we don’t know.

AlfredDaButtler · 26/05/2018 20:42

He got out of bed at 11:55?!?!? I can't remember the last time I was in bed that late since the DC came along. I think I've reached the point that even at my most tired, I'd be physically incapable of staying in bed until then because of the guilt of losing half the day.

Ginger1982 · 26/05/2018 20:43

I'm not saying it's her fault but I would have been up the stairs long before that getting my DH out of bed.

Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:44

I've let it become normal now. Fuck knows how...we do everything else 50/50 but despite the fact he gets up 1.5hrs after me EVERY DAY, the weekends have fallen on me. It's like some weird pennence for being able to leave the house early. I don't even understand it so I don't know how any of you can be expected to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:45

It's almost like, "You want a career?" Boom!

OP posts:
Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:48

He's not a SAHD

OP posts:
FittonTower · 26/05/2018 20:48

My husband and I have one lie in each. We both work full time and are both knackered by the weekend. Even so, unless we have a big night out or something we tend to be up, showered and ready before 10. Babies are tiring but they usually put an end to lunch time lie ins.

Peanutbuttercups21 · 26/05/2018 20:48

I had a nice tradition of bring the baby/toddler back to bed with me at weekends, both DS and DH remember "fondly" DS bouncing on DH hungover head Grin

It was a nice way to start the weekend as a family, a solidarity thing, "we're in this together" thing.

Was essential to my mental health at the time. And curbed DH's drinking. And it was actually NICE to all have a cuddle (and a cuppa) and start the weekend together

Idea?

Woodwick · 26/05/2018 20:49

Omg, he's taking the piss. The minimum fair deal is you both get a lie in each at the weekend.

KlutzyDraconequus · 26/05/2018 20:49

sounds to.me like you've realised your kindness is not kindness but him.takinf you for granted.

put a stop to it.
tell him, right now, you're having a lie in in the morning till midday at the minimum.
you'd like a cuppa brought up.about 9am and then to be left alone till you can be arsed to get up.

Lethaldrizzle · 26/05/2018 20:49

Bring him a coffee at the time you want him awake

Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:50

He won't go to bed before 1am and then moans because 1. He hates his job and 2. He is too stressed to sleep.

I think it might be doomed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:52

I can bring him tea, coffee, cook him breakfast and nothing changes. Going to bed soon as I cannot deal with the lack of sleep although we had a really good night planned. When I said I wanted him to get up in the morning he started screaming at me.
I'm not sure there's anywhere else to go from here.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2018 20:52

Sorry you said tiu were the breadwinner, so I assume he was SAHD.

You need to talk to him. If he says "I refuse to share weekend get ups, stuff you" you have bigger issues

KlutzyDraconequus · 26/05/2018 20:52

staying up after 10pm and not sleeping enough is not good for stress.

sensible bed time
more sleep
less stress
better sleep

staying bed late and going to bed late is the worst thing he could be doing.

Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:53

He says I've "ruined our night in".

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/05/2018 20:53

Cross post.

If he's screaming at you for asking him to get up because you're tired you have really big issues

Original poster
Neverender · 26/05/2018 20:53

But how do you make a grown up go to bed???!

OP posts:
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