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AIBU?

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Original poster

To KNOW I was right in this argument

29 replies

VogueVVague · 26/05/2018 12:15

Me and dad (hes irish) were discussing the abortion referendum. He gets really irritated by my "feminist" stance a lot of the time.

Anyway in our debate, I said i thought it was shocking that the gay marriage vote (not life threatening) happened years before the abortion vote (life threatening).

I said i thought that this was because the gay marriage issue was about empowering more men, while abortion rights is about men losing control over their ability to police womens bodies.

He stormed out the room calling me a joke.

But im right, arent i?

OP posts:
Prawnofthepatriarchy · 26/05/2018 14:15

Yes, you are. Self-ID for transgender also took priority over women's rights. It was legalized in 2015.

RandomWordsStuckTogether · 26/05/2018 14:16

You are correct.

RandomWordsStuckTogether · 26/05/2018 14:17

Although it wasn't just for gay men was it? Lesbians benefited too.

SecretStash · 26/05/2018 14:17

Absolutely totally correct.

PositiveVibez · 26/05/2018 14:22

Although it wasn't just for gay men was it? Lesbians benefited too

That's as maybe, but the OP is correct. That lebians benefitted is a consequence.

Lordamighty · 26/05/2018 14:24

You are 100% correct.

Original poster
VogueVVague · 26/05/2018 14:25

Lesbians benefited and campaigned hard for it, but gay men were the primary driving force.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 26/05/2018 14:27

Could not ageee more with you op.

3luckystars · 26/05/2018 14:31

I don’t think there is any point in arguing about it at all as it doesn’t matter who is right as it’s all changed now.

So let’s all just appreciate the changes.

Fruitcorner123 · 26/05/2018 14:34

it doesn’t matter who is right as it’s all changed now

it matters becuse it demonstrates that it's still a male dominated society we live in. It's not like everything is equal now and there's nothing left to fight for, the gender pay gap being the obvious example.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 26/05/2018 14:37

An Irish colleague (male) commented yesterday that this vote would have happened (and been won) years ago if men got pregnant.

dogfish1 · 26/05/2018 14:42

I don't think you're necessarily right. There are a lot of reforms in favour of women (e.g. suffrage, matrimonial property, rape within marriage, etc) that happened before gay marriage.
Some people, both male and female, believe that the unborn child has rights. In fact, almost everyone accepts this past a certain point (i.e. late in pregnancy) - even most feminists aren't arguing in favour of abortions at 8 months.
I'm pro choice but I don't think you can characterise this as a simple men's rights vs women's rights issue, or say that the only reason gay marriage happened first was because it involved men. And I don't really see the point in arguing this rather vague point to your dad. You'll never reach agreement or a conclusion, although he sounds like he has a temper problem if he then storms out of the room.

Mrsmadevans · 26/05/2018 14:45

Definitely you are dead right OP

SemperIdem · 26/05/2018 14:49

I was saying the exact same thing to my partner just last night! So naturally, I think you are right!

TheBogWitchIsBack · 26/05/2018 14:55

You're right. Ireland has a history of not really giving a shit about it's women.

Vicky1990 · 26/05/2018 14:58

So you managed to drag a man hating attitude into the conversation, no wander he was not happy.
Two different issues, not related.
You should apologise to your father for trying to make a feminist issue out of it.

Original poster
VogueVVague · 26/05/2018 14:59

@Vicky1990
Are you having a laugh?

OP posts:
Imchlibob · 26/05/2018 15:02

Trying to make a feminist issue of women having the right to make decisions about their own bodies and health risks. Shocking. Tut tut. Back into the kitchen dearie.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 26/05/2018 15:03

Yes Op, you are right.

SemperIdem · 26/05/2018 15:04

Vicky 😂😂😂😂

Seriously?!

Lockheart · 26/05/2018 15:04

*You should apologise to your father for trying to make a feminist issue out of it."

If men sitting in a church dictating the right of women to do as they wish with their bodies isn't a feminist issue, I don't know what is.

onalongsabbatical · 26/05/2018 15:11

I think your analysis is bang on, OP. I presume your father's irritation at your feminism stems from his own acknowledged misogyny?

Glumglowworm · 26/05/2018 15:12

I actually disagree

I think that abortion is a more emotive issue than gay marriage because for some opponents, abortion is murder (this is not my view btw). Whereas there are no “victims” with gay marriage

StrangeLookingParasite · 26/05/2018 15:14

You should apologise to your father for trying to make a feminist issue out of it.

Light must bend around you.

lottiegarbanzo · 26/05/2018 15:18

Yes and no.

Yes, controlling human reproduction is a huge part of why men have sought to limit women's options and, well, women.

But no, because gay marriage is simple, happy, affects adults only and harm's no-one, whereas abortion is far more sad and complicated.