Deleted social media for sake of mental health, now I'm in trouble?

[Stopthatalreadyok]

Last week I decided to delete my social media (deactivate, whatever) and I've had a back lash from a few people.

I deactivated Facebook and have had a few messages from folk asking why I've unfriended them, to which I've replied explaining my reasons only for the to respond telling me it's a strange thing to do.

I deleted WhatsApp because I was finding the numerous groups I'm in exhausting and if I didn't reply to every family members baby picture I would get a text asking why I was ignoring people etc etc so I just wanted rid. I left a WhatsApp group of mums I met at a baby yoga group, about 15 of us and left a quick good bye message;

Hi yogis, sorry I'm leaving WhatsApp but I'm just struggling with my MH currently and I'm trying to cut down on social media. If anyone needs me I'm available via text! See you soon"

Since which I've had three of them text me asking why I don't want to be friends anymore?

Am I missing something? I suffer with anxiety and agoraphobia and I got off social media because it was getting to the stage where I was nervous in my own home of my phone so I wanted out. Now I feel it's even worse because people seem so angry with me now?

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

That is strange.

I do use social media but I have no notifications at all. I have Facebook but I only reply to messages at my convenience. Anything urgent & people can phone or text.

I also have WhatsApp but literally only have dh, the dc & my dad on it. The main reason for WhatsApp is that on mine and my dads work contract you get charged extra for picture messages.

I deactivated my FaceBook account because I got in so many arguments with, frankly, ignorant people, but I felt so much better not being on there any more. Plus for me it felt pointless, nearly everyone I have as friends on there I know in real life and could easily get hold of them outside social media anyway.
I liked the games but even they started getting removed or changed too much. Lol.

I didn't get any questions but I do think people can be unreasonable about it. Social media can bring out the worst in people, I think.

That’s nice in a way. I never notice when people delete social media as some get stroppy they aren’t important enough to be missed

For many people now, social media is being friends. If you detach from them there, that’s it.

Well done op!
I'm sure your MH and general well-being will be considerably improved.
Congratulations on being freed from the stress.

@museumum this is the exact text I received yesterday from one of the yoga mums! Before I left the group (and all the other WhatsApp groups I'm in) I explained I was taking a break and to get in touch via text if needed, but this person text me and says "I see WhatsApp like text so if you be WhatsApp does that mean you don't want me to text you either?" of course not! I ended up sending yet another apology and explanation and reiterated that I do not want to cut ties with anyone, I just don't want to be on social media anymore.....

I sort of see her point. If you are on a phone contract with limited texts or payg then it’s much cheaper to use WhatsApp than text.

But I never joined a group.

@alexander but I explained what was happening before I left the group?i also explained that I was struggling and needing some space, so why would the response be to send me angry text messages? Oh this person is feeling bad and needs some space. I know! I'll send these angry messages instead and not even ask how they are!

People have their own issues, like you have yours. A lot are insecure and paranoid and think people don’t like them and frame their experiences in that way. Everyone wants to be liked, even the most secure person. You can’t control their reactions and their reactions only speak about how they are, it’s not about you. You need to reframe this as something you can’t control and move on.

She’s contradicting herself. Yes I use WhatsApp like texts. Hence I don’t join “groups”. I have private contact with close friends/Family

I don't have Whatsapp

Is it wifi only? So some people might be miffed that they can't text for free? Even then I think they're being nuts

There's ways to keep in touch if you want to.

I think there's people who would be disappointed if I came off Twitter but surely the point is they know how to call me if they need me.

Yes. If you run out of texts you can use WhatsApp on WiFi.

But you can always pick up a phone & dial someone.

Perhaps people are worried about you and your mental health and are checking in that you’re ok?

Good move Op. I deleted the app from my phone (And stopped using) Facebook about 5 years ago. I just found it had become annoying and was really adding to my anxiety. I got some “where have you gone?” comments and also some “why haven’t you accepted a friend request?” etc comments. I am quite straight to the point with it now - “I don’t DO Facebook” “Facebook got on my nerves, and my account is frozen in time (as of 5 years ago) as I need to get all my pics off there. I don’t access it or check it, and feel that true friends will have my mobile number, address and be in contact with me anyway without Facebook”. I haven’t missed it and you won’t either. Good Luck

What stinky wink said, good advice

My boss made a comment the other day which I found striking

She said she feels as if there's so much pressure to confirm to social norms, when you do something that's a positive thing for you, if it's slightly outside a social norm, then people assume it's a bad sign about your mental health when actually it's a good one.

I know what she means.

The messages you’ve quoted really don’t sound angry at all. Please don’t dread bumping into these people. The one you quoted from WhatsApp just sounded like she wanted to clarify what the rules were you wanted her to follow (because it’s quite a subtle difference to understand she’s allowed to send you a text message but not a WhatsApp message).

I have had a similar experience. Stopped checking FB over Christmas and then deleted the app along with Messenger. Meaning that while I could log into Facebook via safari on my phone, I rarely did, and actually couldn’t read the messages without having the Messenger app. Haven’t deleted my account nor made any big announcement but several people are upset by it. I still use iMessage and WhatsApp and email, and have to consciously contact people. I also did it for my mental health, and because I wanted to leave several message groups that were becoming toxic to me. I am so much happier, have so much free headspace, and read books again during journeys or in the evening. My child was also very bothered by the fact that I have shared photos of him over the years, and I stopped that a long time ago. It’s hard sometimes because a lot of friends live so much through FB that they assume I know about things in their lives, when I don’t. It means making more of an effort to meet up physically. But it also means that it’s really hard to stay in touch with the dozens of friends i have all over the world (long term expat). But I focus more on close friends and family. There’s less passive catching up, it has to be active. Despite the negatives, I wouldn’t change it and don’t want to go back. But like you, I was surprised at the depth of feeling. Like we haven’t rejected FB, but have rejected our friends.