To sometimes pay for DP's meal when we eat out and vice versa

[LionAllMessy]

If you eat at a restaurant with your DP/DH/DW, do you split the bill based on what you individually ate and drank? Or does just one of you usually pay for the whole meal?

I'm curious as to whether it's common to split the meal when you're in a long-term serious relationship or marriage.

Well we have one bank account so it doesn’t particularly matter really

We share money so we just take turns to pay but it doesn't matter if its isn't exactly equal.
We have our own separate accounts but he puts money in mine every month and I buy him stuff and vice versa.

We take in turns.

We have a joint account so it's all joint money

mummy I don’t understand. Are you saying that you used to hand over cash in advance, based on how much you estimated the meal would cost, to your OH, outside the restaurant? Why not just pay for the meal once you’d eaten it and got the bill?

If you eat at a restaurant with your DP/DH/DW, do you split the bill based on what you individually ate and drank? Or does just one of you usually pay for the whole meal?

After 30 years of marriage we haven;t had his and hers money since our teens. I find the idea bizarre (though whatever other people do is none of my business).

Do people actually break it down though, with people they are married to?

We pay on the joint credit card. Before we lived together we would split it. When we lived together but had separate accounts we'd take it in turns to pay roughly but it wasn't strict.

We are married, most of our money is in joint account, but we both keep a small amount of our "own" money so we can get coffees, lunches, clothes etc without feeling like we are dipping into the family account. We would mostly use the joint account for meals out together. For things like birthdays etc, i would use my personal account (e.g. "treating" the other person). I'd expect that to be reciprocated for my bday!

Before we moved in together, got married, had kids etc, I think we either split it 50:50 or took turns.

It would usually come from the joint account. If not, either one of us would pay. Not in turns.

Before credit cards were common, my DM used to hand DF cash under the table so he could be 'seen' to be paying. It was all joint account money anyway.

I don’t live with DP so don’t share finances. Been with him 6 years. He’s quit traditional and likes to treat me, he also earns a lot more than I do, so if we go somewhere expensive he will pay, if it’s a cheaper restaurant or cinema snacks etc sometimes I pay! If my DCs are with us I’ll often pay but sometimes he’ll conqtribute (saying he’s paying for mine and his, and that I can pay for the dcs).

I can’t imagine regularly splitting a bill with someone I go out with often, surely taking turns makes more sense? DB and I go for brunch every couple of weeks and just take it in turns (roughly, don’t keep score). I find it a bit embarrassing trying to work out who had what, it just seems a bit petty. Fair enough if it’s a big meal with wine etc but for your average lunch or £15 a head dinner I’d rather just pay it.

We take turns or use the joint card.

I earn more so usually if we go somewhere posh i pay, something cheaper he pays.

Joint account so all money is our money anyway. Even when we didn’t have we wouldn’t split the actual bill based on who ate what, I think that’s a bit odd in a relationship. We would just take it in turns to pay or whoever was closer to pay day etc as we had different pay dates.

We don't go out very often, but when we do it's whoever gets their card out first who pays. We have separate accounts but pay different bills so it works out that we pay roughly equal amounts each month. Our money is shared, we are just too lazy to organise a joint account.

Our finances are joint everything goes into one account so we just pay together. I don't see the point of having separate finances and having to sit down and work out who used what. We only have one electric supply and one gas supply so it makes more sense to me to pay our bills out of the same pot. Most of our money is savings etc but it's all in one account and we pay bills as a family.

No, that would be weird.

We have joint money.

If the joint is looking healthy we will pay from that, which we both contribute an equal amount to each month. Otherwise normally one of us has said it's our treat and pays. We don't take it in turns.

We have a joke about who's paying - sometimes I get the card out & sometimes OH does. The reality is we share a joint account with an everything in & everything out approach so we both pay in the end. Before we had shared finances I didn't earn enough to take us out so OH (boyfriend/partner) at the time paid for both of us.

Why would you not share money in a LTR? I find it so odd that you can try and share a life without sharing something as vital as money.

food why is it odd? I think it’s pretty sensible.

We take turns or put it on the joint account for bills etc if we have money left in there, some months we have quite a bit others there are more bills. We have joint and separate accounts

We have separate accounts and finances, though we earn about the same and pay out about the same so will probably get round to sorting a joint account at some point!

As for meals out, whoever pays pays really - kind of taking it in turns but not particularly strictly. Or if we’ve gone a bit ott ordering and the bill has come to more than expected we might split it - not based on who had what but more like he’ll go to pay and I’ll put some to it.

Generally tend to split it. If it's someone's birthday then the other person pays. DH doesn't drink so I usually pay if I'm drinking and he just has a soft drink.

Dp and I roughly take turns. We don’t live together but his outgoings are more than mine so I pick up more overall but he does so much for me and my kids in time, stuff round the house, caring for me etc that I feel indebted to him- not that I’d ever let him know that, he’d be mortified

Joint account (apart from birthday treats). Before we had a joint account we took it in turns. DP did offer to split the bill when I took him out for £250pp meal for a significant birthday, but I had budgeted for that, as he did when it was my birthday.