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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD friends tattoo mistake

141 replies

FrustratedBeyond · 24/05/2018 20:01

Both my friend and her DH had matching tattoos today, but both have 'could of' instead of 'could have'... WWYD... Gently inform her to save a shred of her dignity or save my embarrassment to point it out and say nothing? I know its not issue of the century but Im interested to hear what others would do.

OP posts:
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shinycat · 24/05/2018 21:08

Oh how awkward. What/who is the tattoo about? I think I would tell her. As a few people have said, how and WHY does a tattoo artist DO that?! Are you sure she didn't get her mate to do it with a tattoo kit off ebay? I find it hard to believe that a genuine tattoo parlour apprentice would do it. Blush

There are some amusing 'tat-fails' .... I reckon No. 2 didn't regret NOHING. I bet he regretted his shit tattoo. And No. 3... 'Only Gad can fudge me.' Grin

WWYD friends tattoo mistake
WWYD friends tattoo mistake
WWYD friends tattoo mistake
busybarbara · 24/05/2018 21:09

Don't bring it up and feign innocence if she asks why no-one noticed. Safest option all round. Besides she could of asked for it to be that way if she speaks in a bit of a working class way I suppose.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 24/05/2018 21:09

I can't see how it could be accepted though. People are mis hearing could've as could of. Have is the verb in the sentence. It has to be there. It doesn't make sense otherwise.
Agree, it's a really common error though.

LizB62A · 24/05/2018 21:09

There's a tattoo shop near here, and they've got a little car with their logo along the side and address on the back.

Unfortunately the address is spelt wrong....!!

No attention to detail at all - I just imagine the tattoos that they do for people Smile

SoFake · 24/05/2018 21:19

That’s a weird quote and a REALLY weird quote for a daughter in law to have in memory of her mother in law. 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

ArchchancellorsHat · 24/05/2018 21:28

How visible is the tattoo? I don't think you can say anything, just say something nice about the lettering or colours or something if she asks directly. Tattoo apprentice needs feedback though!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 24/05/2018 21:31

It’s certainly not “on the way to being perfectly acceptable”, starsorwater.
I take your point about the evolution of language, but could of will always be just plain wrong.
Embarrassingly so.

GabsAlot · 24/05/2018 21:48

hmm funny thing to do for a mil-even if they were close theyre not really family

her dh on the other hand i understand-just say you didnt notice if they ever ask

Bouledeneige · 24/05/2018 21:49

Sounds like a really strange and meaningless tat. Its a common grammatical mistake which clearly they are both unaware of.

They will think you're supercilious and smug if you point it out. It sounds a bit in snobby in your post. Sorry!

ScreamingValenta · 24/05/2018 21:55

I don't think it's strange for someone to be close enough to their MIL to want to memorialise her - and it might have been an act of support for her DH. It's just a way of saying she was deeply loved.

altiara · 24/05/2018 21:56

I’d do nothing. They both clearly don’t see anything wrong with it.
IF anyone in the future says anything and upsets then, then say you didn’t notice anything wrong or yes you can spell it that way (the correct way) too... yes, I’d lie. It’s too late to change it.

FrustratedBeyond · 25/05/2018 05:17

Not entirely sure how I sounded snobby. Just my heart torn! I didnt want to say anything to her personally yet my DH said I should... Im thankful we all appear to think the same! The reality is there really isnt anything either of them could do to amend it due to the font

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 25/05/2018 05:27

I know someone who had "In loving memory of are angel" in memory of a stillborn child. I of course didn't say a thing. I'm sure someone will at some point.

4men1lady · 25/05/2018 05:39

I’ve seen that quote being used very recently and publicly.

Best not to mention anything to the couple.

mathanxiety · 25/05/2018 05:52

I am sure everyone else you know who has ever read a book will be thinking 'someone else will tell them'. And of course no-one will tell them.

Fair enough, if they themselves know no better, and the tattoos were done in a spirit of love.

But I understand your dilemma, OP.

You're not snobby. You happen to be someone who understands the English language and can spell, and you feel for a friend who will advertise for the rest of her life the fact that she doesn't understand the English language and can't spell.

FreeMantle · 25/05/2018 06:23

MarklahMarklah

That's a very good example of why " have " works and not " of". But I use " could of" as a complete unit. So in your example it both words disappear " I shut the door"

I do use "of" myself because I think it sounds better with "could". The "v"in have makes it jar in my opinion. I use whatever sounds nicer to my ear.
"Could not of "works, " couldn't of" doesn't .
"Couldn't have" doesn't sound nice, " could not have" does.

Skittlesandbeer · 25/05/2018 06:25

God, my family would be shouting each down to tell me I’d fucked up.

Leave it to her family. And if asked after she twigs, say you were too emotional about the lovely intent to notice the spelling.

sashh · 25/05/2018 06:36

No tattoo artist can change a 2 letter word into a 4 letter word and make it look good and the spacing look even.

True, but it could be changed to,"If love could save you" with something covering the letters.

glueandstick · 25/05/2018 06:42

The local tattoo place here does ‘tattoo’s piercing’s, barbar’s’ but missed out the apostrophe where it is needed in the name.

BrewDoggy · 25/05/2018 07:11

Most of her friends would probably not notice the mistake. Sad but true.

Antigonads · 25/05/2018 07:24

FreeMantle. Do you mean you use of instead of have in speech or in writing?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 25/05/2018 07:43

FreeMantle, you use could of instead of could have because it SOUNDS NICER?! 👀

flowery · 25/05/2018 07:46

”I do use "of" myself because I think it sounds better with "could".”

It really, really doesn't!

TheBogWitchIsBack · 25/05/2018 07:54

Well that's embarrassing. I would tell her, then she might have a chance at correcting it or having it covered up.
I wouldn't let a friend walk around with that on them.

mathanxiety · 25/05/2018 08:20

FreeMantle, the 'of' sounds exactly the same as a V sound in speech. 'Of' is pronounced 'uv'. There is no F sound in it.
(The word 'off' has an F sound).

'Of' makes no sense at all grammatically. It's not part of the complete unit - 'could of'. It's a mistake based on the fact that the contraction 've (the last two letters of 'have') sounds exactly like the word 'of'.

'Could have', 'would have' and 'should have' are modal verbs. They are units consisting of verb (could, etc) + past participle (of the verb have). They make sense together. They indicate that something was possible in the past, or they speculate if something was possible in the past.

In the case of 'could have', we can use it interchangeably with 'might have'.

You can divide the parts of a modal verb up:

  • Could someone have forgotten to put the cheque in the post?
  • How could she have thought that colour would look good on her?

The negatives can also be divided up:

  • Could she not have thought of something better to say than that?

The contractions also indicate something that might have or might not have been possible:

  • She could've done far better than that layabout.
  • He couldn't have enjoyed the movie as he had left his glasses in the car and his hearing aid wasn't working.

Contractions can be both positive and negative, and as long as you understand they include the shortened participle 'have' ('ve) they are perfectly valid no matter how awkward they may sound to any particular individual. But using 'of' is never correct even if it sounds right. Grammar matters.

When you speak it's impossible to tell whether you have the word 'of' or the contraction ''ve' in mind, but you can't write what you think sounds better. One way of writing the phrase is correct and all other versions are simply wrong.