Ethics regarding Instamums and huns

[BurberryIsSo2000]

Homeisthecalm here, I think it's suitable to start a new ethics thread.

Since clearly, the one from yesterday isn't really about ethics but Clemmie.

Thanks all,

Keep it as nice or as stingy as you like

I'll start off by saying things should be clearly marked 'ad' or 'gifted'

Although the term gifted gives me the rage

I am in Scotland and have also taken my 6 year old out for a holiday....for 4 days once a year. I think to so it repeatedly and in short spaces of time causes disruption both for the child and for the other children in class. I get the educational argument if they were sampling local cultures. They are not.

i actually feel very sorry for their eldest..they often talk about how shy she is and how she doesn't like school...i wonder if the other kids make comments about her being in youtube vids....either way, from my experiance of having a young child who didn't like school...absence did not make the heart grow founder :(

They're away for 2 weeks this time too. No fines in Scotland. But that doesn't mean to say it still isn't "frowned upon", especially when it's not a one off. They don't seem to care too much about the negativity though, which I guess is something. A thick skin would be essential in their job!

Modern child chimney sweeps 🤔

Instamums/dads/you tubers definitely need to develop a thick skin. The problem is a lot of them don't and genuinely seem like they don't understand why certain things they do/decisions they make can generate criticism. It must be hugely ego boosting to always hear positive comments over the most mundane everyday activities. Well done...you got 1 kid out to school and now you are away for cake. Woohoo go you type stuff.

Big egos, low self esteem. Classic personality traits of attention seekers.

Bet the Meldrums will feature holiday photos of "cultural stuff" now!

I think your last comment was a bit harsh though wearelocal.

Spongebob really? My general remark that people who seek attention may have large egos and low self esteem, is harsh, but your run down on the rights and wrongs of a specific IG family going on holiday isn't?!

I personally couldn't give a fig if someone takes their small child out of school to help with the harvest or go on holiday

My run down? Where exactly?! You crossed a line in my opinion and I was politely pointing that out. But, you know, feel free to go and dig through other things I've posted. Quoting earlier comments does seem to be a theme on this thread

Taking children out of school - up till Year 10 I don’t have a problem with it if it’s about a week a year and no one asks me to ‘give them some work to take away with them’. More time than that taken regularly, excepting exceptional circs, will slowly start to get in the way of their education, in my opinion. The best time to go is towards the end of term when less learning is happening (though then the child misses out on some celebration events so you have to weigh it up).

Jealousy of free holidays (or work trips, depending on how you look at it) aside, I really can’t relate to the families once they start having many comped trips. It just doesn’t feel like the real holiday excitement of once or twice a year, of choosing the holiday destination yourself and the hope (and fear!) that you chose well, the real experience of what you liked and what you didn’t, and the actual holiday memories which aren’t always the stereotypical insta-friendly images but are your own in-jokes and laughs, built in no small part on the fact that your holiday is a rarity. The influencers may well experience some of gay on the holidays, but it doesn’t come across to me once the holidays are so frequent.

I honestly am a bit jealous about the amount of holidays some of the influencers get (but I don’t bitch about them), but separately from that, I honestly feel no connection or emotional engagement with them once they start all being comped or having so many, as it stops feeling special and I can’t relate to that. One of the perks of being not super rich is that experiences remain special and memorable. I have met privileged people who are blasé about things and I wouldn’t want that for myself or my children. At least that’s how I excuse being a horrible mother and not doing constant special days out in the holidays!

Spongebob I'm sorry, you were commenting on the family's decision to take their child out of school for a holiday. I don't have a problem with a parent doing that - IG family or not, so I didn't comment.

I said people who seek attention - which is essential for an 'influencer' - may have large egos and low self esteem. Which would explain why they lap up positive comments and seem to have such an extreme reaction to criticism i.e. don't have thick skin. It wasn't intended to be harsh. I feel quite sorry for anyone like that, because they rely on the validation of others. I accept it could have phrased it better.

Experience some of those, I think I meant to type!

back to my question....is it ok/more acceptable for kids to miss school if they are contributing to the family coffers?

And I think if a specific holiday company is being consistently tagged and holidays are very frequent, then it must be an ad and it is very disingenuous not to make that clear. If one were choosing one’s own holidays o think it likely one would not stick to the same company within such a short space of time.

Scipio I assume these perks will be short lived and the kids won't remember the hols anyway. When they are teenagers, mum and dad have regular jobs and they are in a rainy caravan in (um where can I say without causing offence) Kent, in August, they can look back at their IG pics with fondness.

Of course not stilldazed. It's not rural America in the 50s. But whether kids should be taken out of school during termtime at all is for another thread, surely?

Interesting, dazed. The school terms were partly designed around this very reason I believe (summer with lots of work to do on the land).

How long would children have off for the harvest?

My feeling is it isn’t acceptable to have time out extensively for any reason - a family should be able to manage (in this day and age - welfare state to stop farming family becoming destitute although of course welfare state not very healthy right now) without taking their child out of school so often/long that it impinges on their learning. I think whether this is a holiday or work (or both in the case of influencer children, perhaps), if a child’s education starts to be sacrificed for the parent’s income then the absence becomes problematic. As I said, I think a week-ish a year is not a problem.

I see the teepees seem to be this months freebie. Any interior account i have just unfollowed has Lovely unsuspecting kids all dressed as cowboys (!!!) To add to the ad feel, and hubby doing a bizarre impression of a native American! Very inappropriate.

That's another problem with ads. When you have inexperienced Insta mums/people creating their own ads to flog their freebies it can sometimes border on the unpalatable. Untrained creative types could inadvertently cause offence. All for a free tent.

It's all just starting to feel a bit weird. There's DMBLB on holiday where the MOFOD's were, there's that Bedruthen place in Cornwall where they all go and now the MOFOD's are glamping @ notsosmugnow's freebie glamping. They all #ad the same rubbish, same car, cruise, nappy. It's just all so dull.
I've no problem with kids holidaying, but 3 times in 3 months? Why not in the holidays at all? And if they are 'working' then surely the kids are working...

Big egos, low self esteem. Classic personality traits of attention seekers.

Instamums - Summed up perfectly!

Oh my goodness, Cuddle! Yes, no one needs cultural appropriation/racism associated with their innocent wig wan by some inexperienced influencers! Though I might be tempted to think serves you right to those companies...

How many more times has Martha got to promote those bloody towels. It's been months. It's getting embarrassing. Yes love we know you got some lovely new towels for free, no we aren't going to buy any. In fact I might just unfollow because it's getting seriously boring to have those towels and very shoved in my face. The towels also seem to be in stories. It must feel so crap. Oh I've got to mention my towels again, feel like such a muppet. I mean is it worth it? Just buy your own and you don't have to sell them.

What I don't understand is why do the instamums who clearly have lots of money (massive houses, expensive clothes, great holidays, hubbies who work in the city) hawk/accept freebies like towels and cereal? I'd be so embarrassed to sell stuff to people following my account. The obviously don't need the money but come across as greedy and unable to say no to free things. It's cringe and I think it really destroys the brand they've worked to create.

@powergower exactly. The one I mentioned is looking at houses in Cornwall that cost £570000 and then trying to get us to buy some towels she was sent for free. Really? Do you need to do this. It's awkward. And not just a mention but dragging it out over weeks. 'Oh here's my lovely soft towels again' just cringe.