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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does any one think this is ok behaviour?

64 replies

Motherhen18 · 24/05/2018 16:31

Motherhen18

My son was grabbed by his plaster cast by a supply teacher she didn't call out to him or warn him when he called out in pain just stared at him he has witnesses any advice to take I've obviously contacted the school

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 24/05/2018 18:54

It sounds as though the school agrees with you, so I'm not sure what else you can do. The agency will presumably have a procedure to follow around feedback, retraining or whatever.

soapboxqueen · 24/05/2018 18:57

I'm not sure what you are after here OP. The school and witnesses have agreed with your ds's version of events. The school has said they are investigating and are in contact with the supply agency. Who is telling you that it didn't happen? What else do you expect the school to be doing?

Fruitcorner123 · 24/05/2018 18:58

i agree the school sound like they are dealing with it. Obviously you are angry but these things do take time.

Gizmo79 · 24/05/2018 19:00

Erm, I would be saying that that was assault myself.
As an adult we wouldn’t just be able to grab someone’s cast and yank it, so why does it make it okay to do that to a child?

OpiningGambit · 24/05/2018 19:00

If the school agrees with you and your son doesn't need further treatment or anything then - good, relax. This isn't a battle you need to fight.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 24/05/2018 19:02

Give the school a chance to respond and go from there. They will need time to speak to the Supply teacher, collect witness statements from other staff and students who were in the room and for the Designated Safeguarding Lead and potentially the HT to discuss and decide on an appropriate course of action so don't assume they aren't taking it seriously just because you don't get an immediate response.

BlankTimes · 24/05/2018 19:12

Did the supply teacher know about the cast, was it visible before the grab, or did s/he just grab the boy's wrist to turn him around and face front?

Melliegrantfirstlady · 24/05/2018 19:52

You say grab maybe she took his wrist?

Pengggwn · 25/05/2018 06:02

I can't see that as being acceptable, if that is exactly what happened. Have you heard her side of the story?

TheMaddHugger · 25/05/2018 06:29

unbelievable Confused

InspMorse · 25/05/2018 06:37

What is the backstory? So the incident took place as described, that's been agreed by the school but what about the rest?

myidentitymycrisis · 25/05/2018 06:44

Why would anyone consider this acceptable
would you tolerate someone approaching you from behind, grabbing your wrist (cast or not), turning you around without speaking to you.

not ok for an adult not ok for a child.

why do people think they have the right to move children because they are smaller than them?

NewYearNewMe18 · 25/05/2018 06:56

I never quite understand these threads, Ok I might be having a dense moment. What is the AIBU when the school is doing everything it should be to investigate? I appreciate the OP really just wants to vent, but let the investigation procedure take its course. There are due protocols that have to be followed

ohreallyohreallyoh · 25/05/2018 07:26

As a very thick-skinned supply teacher myself, I would hazard a guess there is way more to this. Some students see supply as easy targets and behave appallingly. Being turned the other way is very rude to start with. I will bet he had ignored instruction after instruction.

Is his cast obvious? I will say, however, that I would generally avoid touching a student at all costs and if a student refused to comply with the most basic of instructions, I would send a child to reception to ask for a senior member of staff to attend and/or, pop my head round the room next door and ask for support. Most schools take a dim view of such behaviour because it reduces the number of teachers willing to work in their school.

Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 16:47

I don't think the issue is that it's a supply teacher maybe I should of been bit clearer I was want other mother's points of view if they think it's exceptable for a teacher or any adult to grab or handle a minor my son was neither rude nor abusive to this teacher... Just wanted other peoples opinions on it the school are investigating and have addmited the incident happened how my son said

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 16:48

Just wanted other peoples opinions and thoughts on this type of incident

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 16:51

Thank you I feel the same but some people assume that I child must of been being rude or disrespectful... If a child was being aggressive or violent in. Self defense I could understand

OP posts:
PastBananas · 25/05/2018 16:52

How old is he and why was he facing the back of the classroom?

Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 16:54

13 years old chatting to a friend

OP posts:
Foxysoxy10 · 25/05/2018 16:57

Why was your child facing the back of the classroom?

What was happening while your child was facing the back of the classroom?

What was happening just before and straight after?

I’m not sure anyone can give you a proper answer as we don’t know the whole circumstance, only what your DS and other children have said.

I understand going by the information you have that it sounds unacceptable but you need to find out exactly why your DS was facing the back of the class and what was supposed to be happening as he was turned around.

Did the teacher know about the cast?

Was the teacher aggressive in the yank or a more gentle guide/pull?

Foxysoxy10 · 25/05/2018 16:59

sorry cross post.

Was the lesson taking place while your DS was facing the back?

What time was it? I.e the middle of the lesson rather than the beginning while everyone settled?

Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 17:57

Just before lesson was starting

OP posts:
Original poster
Motherhen18 · 25/05/2018 18:00

Just before lesson was starting. And was yanked round and no she wasn't aware of plaster cast

OP posts:
PastBananas · 25/05/2018 19:58

So he was more than old enough to know exactly what he was doing, and that he shouldn't be doing it, and the (no doubt exasperated) teacher pulled him round to face the right way - not knowing that he had a cast on that arm.

I'd be giving him a clip round the ear if he was mine. And tell him to behave properly in class in future.

auntyflonono · 25/05/2018 20:09

Not acceptable to grab anyone's arm. Not an adult facing the wrong way in a meeting at work or a thirteen year old facing the wrong way before a lesson.