Why have people started using reflexive pronouns so much?

[Flippetydip]

I seem to hear a lot recently of "what can I get for yourself?" or "could you send it to myself with a, b and c copied in".

You get something for yourself, I get something for you. I send something to myself, I send something to you.

Is this now considered acceptable English?

'Yourself' is an attempt to manufacture a form of 'vous' in French - a less direct, more respectful and formal way to say 'you'.

Where I come from, we faff around like this for a similar purpose - to allow people to express their wishes at a remove. If a guest would probably like jam but only reply 'Oh, never worry!' if offered jam, we ask, 'Would you have liked jam?'. It's easier to say 'Yes' because they're talking about a hypothetical situation (similar to a hypothetical 'self' with 'myself'). Or following a break-up we say, 'Could you have seen yourself marrying him?' (as opposed to 'Did you want to marry him?') because it's somehow easier to answer honestly.

It's mean-spirited to think someone is showing off and trying to sound posh when they're over using the 'self'. They're trying to be polite and deferential, like a waiter who may or may not be snooty. There are plenty of bourgeois practices that have become acceptable and this looks likely to become another. I blame the queen for not providing a language more suited to prancing about gracefully, as it were.

The sort of people who send emails misusing it are definitely also the sort to use wanky corporate speak a lot. Have heard it in restaurants too from waiting staff: “just let myself know if I can get yourselves anything else...”

I loathe it, but I think it starts because people are unsure whether to use "me" or "I", and seek to avoid it by saying "myself", thus ensuring that they are wrong

'Yourself' is an attempt to manufacture a form of 'vous' in French - a less direct, more respectful and formal way to say 'you'.

Really? I'm a French teacher and this hadn't occurred to me. Why do people do that with 'myself' as well then? No neef to address yourself in the polite form.

Sorry oddquestion, you’ve lost me.

...Should that be lost myself?...

It really flibberts my gibbert when people say this —usually borne out of a misguided attempt to sound officious 🤷🏻‍♀️

oddquestion I think you're over thinking it; also the examples you give are absolutely not comparable to the use of 'yourself' that is being coonsidered here.

The Osmonds: Love Myself For A Reason

De La Soul: Myself, Myself and Myself

Emeli Sande: Next To Myself

The Beatles: Love Myself Do

Justin Bieber: Love Yourself...oh, that one's correct

I think it's because people get confused whether it should be "David and I" or not, and assume "David and me" must be wrong, so put "David and myself" thinking it covers all options. It doesn't.

Village you're right - a regional accent covers a multitude of sins

It took me ages to get used to the way everyone in York says 'eight while one' to describe when something is open. Now I've heard it so many times it seems completely normal and correct.

Victoria B always used to say 'me and David' (I may have read her autobiography) so she is slowly getting there!
I don't ever remember being taught it at school, but my teacher grandmother always corrected me if I got me/I wrong and explained when to use it.

Shackup

Stand by myself...

Hit myself baby one more time...

Gimyself gimyself gimyself a man after midnight...

Altered lyrics are such fun.
Yourself ain’t nothing but a hound dog.

Heathcliffe, it’s myself I’m Kathy... let myself in at your window.

Nothing compares to yourself.

When I think about you, I touch myself

I don't mind me and I in conversation, I probably do it. Round these parts, we also say 'should of' as well. I don't like seeing it written down though and I will correct it in work stuff.

Everyone I work with has capitalisation-itis. Random capitals In sentences for No reason. Drives me demented.

That capitalisation is probably their phone, mine is always doing it. I like the idea of VB being hypercorrect. My Dh is very keen on using "and I" all the time and would love to think he is hypercorrect. I won't tell him in case he becomes insufferable.

There's a nice Scottish expression

'You really missed yourself' (eg) last night

When people are telling you you missed a good thing that happened

I manage someone who does this. I still haven’t worked out whether to take him aside and explain it to him. It’s like fingernails on a blackboard to me and I really don’t want to have to correct stuff going out from him forever.

He’s already confused people with ‘please see below for approval for myself to have access...’ referring to my email below in the chain of messages. Understandably he got a response back telling him that he couldn’t give himself approval.

Do I just have to tell him?

I quite like the way the Scots use yourself. I don't mind such things when they're dialect.

But mostly, they're not.

AAARGH! I cringe when people do this! I've never known how to verbalise my loathing though. Now I know it's a reflexive pronoun. Thanks OP!

"What can I get for yourself?"

DP and myself were wondering what you meant.

Up there with 'gotten'-is that a reflexive thingy?
Prob not.

I used to call it bollocks legal talk and it just sounds twattish