To worry some parents don't take the 13 reasons why warnings seriously [Contains Spoilers - Edited by MNHQ]

[peterpiperpickle]

I've watched the whole thing and it is so graphic and hard to sit through at some points. The graphic rape scene in the last episode was actually horrific, I had to skip through it.
It is rated 18, rightly so in my opinion but I have a 12 year old cousin who said that everyone in her year has watched and one girl even got into trouble for recording "copycat tapes" on her phone and threatening suicide as a 'prank'. When I asked her Mum about it she said it cant be that bad or they wouldn't be allowed to show it. I think that's a shocking attitude to have but apparently plenty of parents share her view.
I think it's important to start a conversation and shed light on many taboo topics such as male on male sexual assault but I do wonder if attitudes like this will cause it to do more harm than good? I also wonder how many teens will actually go to their parents like the show recommends if something in it effects them? I'm just glad my baby is still a baby and I don't have to worry yet. If your child watches I really do think it's a good idea to discuss it with them. Anyone else have the same worries?

You might want to consider edited your title to contain the word ‘spoiler alert’.

Massive worries as I've heard that a few in my dds year have watched it and there has been a spate in self harm in her year, 7.
I've not watched it yet, but will have to force myself to very soon as the second series is out and despite dd having no interest, you never know if she got access at another house. I don't allow 18 films to be watched by under 15, have always been gobsmacked to know why parents would.Sneakily watched Carrie at aged 12 myself which probably put me off similar films for ever.

My adult daughter has watched it and says it enrages her; apparently it does not highlight that the girl would have had mental health issues and believes it could be triggering for self harm.

@inashizzle the 2nd series is much better for the trigger warnings, the first had next to none. And your DD is right, they brush the mental health side under the carpet and act as though she did it solely because of the kids at her school. I know that my cousin said she attended a sleepover where her and a bunch of friends binge watched the first series so it's a probably a good idea to watch it or do some research just in case. @hopefulmum there are rape scenes in pretty much every episode so I don't see why?

Actually thinking of getting rid of Netflix due to the irresponsibility of it.It has been watched by huge amounts of teens and possibly tweens. Honestly not long after having watched it, dd's friend(12) self harmed for the first time and told her mother it was due to my dd having stopped talking to her) Ok, can't be 100% sure it was not due to watching that coincidently triggered the self harm however the girl didn't tell her mother that she'd antagonised my dd for her to not be involved with her for a while.
Whilst my dd is opposed to the idea of self harm, it's something we have all got to be aware of. In actual fact I don't place heavy emphasis on homework etc as I'm aware the pressure that young people are under from media, school, peers is just all too much; they are still babies in yr 7, and whilst I'm under no illusion that they don't stay babies for long, home is a place where she can relax. I also know that forbidding watching programmes only made me more determined to watch behind parents back

The way it deals with the subject is really off, imo. Needs talking about as it almost holds suicide up as something to do to make a point, to say 'I'll show you, you'll be sorry for how you treated me'.

I don't know how anyone made it through the series, I only managed half an episode. Surely it was too boring and badly made to have much influence.

My adult daughter has watched it and says it enrages her; apparently it does not highlight that the girl would have had mental health issues and believes it could be triggering for self harm

Don't understand this - I've watched series 1, and it's pretty clear right from the offset what it's about! You immediately find out the MC's friend killed herself, and that she left 13 tapes behind for 13 people to listen to.

I also don't think many people realize the series is based on a best-selling YA novel. It came out over 10 years ago (it's still selling well today), and I read it when I was 15. The book is just as graphic as the Netflix series, but hundreds of thousands of parents haven't tried to stop their teens reading it...

You do know it's not real? If the media make a fuss you can guarantee that kids will want to see it

I hadn't seen this but I thought it was aimed at teens, didn't know it was an 18. Maybe it's because it's about teenagers they just think that's the demographic? I know I would have (and did).

I agree about what you are saying. Parents need to take responsibility.

I also agree you need to add spoiler alert as I haven't watched yet and was planning on..and you have spoilt it for me too.

13 reasons why is a weird one, it’s supposed to be shocking and explicit to highlight real word issues and start a conversation on taboo topics eg sexual assault, suicide, depression etc that are apparently ignored in real life

However as a psychology undergrad, i don’t paticularly think it tackles these issues and the stigma surrounding them very well...

13 reasons why imo is all about the entertainment value and renewing further seasons rather than dealing with sensitive topics very well. It isn’t as ‘deep’ and hard hitting as people say, if anything i think it’s just trying to exploit that aspect.

For example spoilers the graphic assault scene in the season 2 finale was pointless imo as it wasn’t addressed much in the finale and was beyond brutal. I just felt uncomfortable, there didn’t seem to be a ‘point’ from a storytelling perspective. This character had taken a break and began recovering their life, only for this to happen, so it gives the example to people suffering from depression that attempting to better your life is pointless.

Also spoiler it also plays with the idea of a school shooting, which again is a massively emotional subject to deal with. Shooting up a school isn’t the correct way to deal with your issues. Neither is standing in front of a school shooter and his shotgun and attempting to negotiate, that could get someone seriously injured in real life

They show two courtcases, both where which the victims essentially lose. Yes it might be accurate but it’s definitely disheartening for the viewers that are real victims

As i said, they are going for shock/entertainment value and the storytelling isn’t great so it isn’t helpful and ‘deep’ as people keep saying from my perspective, it doesn’t do a great job of ‘handling the conversation’

YANBU but it's a symptom of a bigger issue. Lots of DCs are watching highly inappropriate films and TV.

And although there are lots of problems with 13 Reasons, I think it does have its place as an adaptation of a hugely popular book and as a starting point for discussions with teens. It's also excellent on the pressures on girls/women. I'd rather a teen watched 13 Reasons than play GTA. At least the violence and sexualised behaviour have consequences in 13 Reasons.

[disclaimer - I haven't watched all of season 2 yet]

I've never heard of it before this thread. we don't have Netflix.

It sounds like manipulative rubbish from the description on Wikipedia. Like a televisual chain letter.

Just to add. Apparently suicide rates dropped and more people called helpline after series 1. So it must be helping some people..

Erm... male on male sexual assault??

WTF! Spoiler alert much... WHO IS THAT BETWEEN? I've got 2 more episodes to go. Arrrggghhh

misses the point of the thread sorry!

it almost holds suicide up as something to do to make a point, to say 'I'll show you, you'll be sorry for how you treated me'.

I agree with this. The character seems to suffer after each unfortunate incident, but there is no real suggestion of a detriment to her overall mental health. She's portrayed as comparatively well-balanced, which does make her final decision seem calculated, which is strange and not the message that the show says it's promoting.

Having just finished season 2 last night, I honestly have to say it's really shocked me - some might even say traumatised.. when it got to 'that' scene I happened to be holding a pen and when it finished, I'd dug my nails right around it and down into my palms, leaving dents!

I do think it was a bit much though because the book is aimed at teens so it's a presumption that the series would be the same. There's a lot of adult themes throughout the entire thing BUT there are also plenty of warnings too. I suppose teenagers will be watching away from their parents though so you can't always know what it is they're watching and see said warnings.

I really wasn't expecting the ending of season 2 and I also think the consequences for Bryce didn't go far enough but I suppose they're trying to show how rape is often not punished.

Lots of stuff on Netflix is rated over 18. Its up to parents, some of whom are ridiculously over protective, some of whom are pretty sensible and some who either don't give a crap or don't see a problem.

It was ever so.

This is worth a read

www.samaritans.org/news/guidance-viewers-netflix-drama-13-reasons-why

Although IMO it's not really suitable viewing for anyone...

My Netflix has an age rating thats protected by PIN so my children can't watch anything over 12 rating. My Sky box also has the same thing. Why don't people just put their protection on to stop the kids watching it rather than blaming Netflix for making something that is discussing older teen / adult issues?

Thanks for the spoiler, currently watching it with my pre teen. Surely it's a parents responsibility to make sure that their child is aware of these issues and if they ever feel like that then to talk? Think it actually opens up an avenue to discuss things like what's portrayed in the show which maybe some people wouldn't have otherwise?

You can't blame a show for self harming just like you can't blame video games for violence its madness and just passes the responsibility off to someone else.

A programme with a PIN is no guide at all. Sometimes it has a PIN just because of a few swear words.

Yeah its weird because i didnt know it was an 18. I know younger teens i know all watched it. I gave it a go watched 2 episodes and honestly inwas bored and thought the main character is a horrible whiny brat. It seemed to focus on everyone else is at fault and mental health didnt seem to feature.

Yes it's shocking but guess what.....real life IS shocking. It isn't depicting things that don't actually happen in real life.

I know parents want to shield their children from the harsh realities of life for as long as they can but sometimes it's also important to teach them about the harsh realities.

If this programme saves just ONE youth from suicide or encourages ONE person to report a sexual assault then it's done its job in my opinion. (And yes I have watched it all)