Secret scan jitters

[Tyrrel]

DP and I are having our first baby together. He already has a son and is desperate for a girl. We decided not to find out the sex, as he's said he would be disappointed if he found out it was another boy at the scan. What a shit position to put me in. I want to know the sex, I don't want him to know I know as he will analyse every single thing I say, it'll become a 'thing' and will take some of the joy away. He has put me in this position, so I'm booked in tomorrow morning for a scan to find out the sex without him knowing. Am I a bad person for doing this? I have one last chance to cancel the scan but don't want to go through the next 20+ weeks feeling like I currently do, worrying about if it's a boy or girl.

If you find out and it's another boy, at least you can gently prepare him by saying you 'feel' like you're carrying a boy.

Good luck

I was told my first baby was a girl... she came out with a penis I know they're fairly accurate these days but mistakes do happen!
My DH would really like a girl but I'm pregnant with our third boy. I think he was probably a little disappointed although he never said it out loud. Are you going to tell your DP what the sex is? It could be easier for him to wrap his head round it as such and get over the disappointment if it turns out to be a boy. I would hate my partner to be potentially disappointed on the day baby was born.

Will finding out influence the things you buy? I'm currently 20 weeks and have been told at 2 scans it's a girl so have bought a couple of pink things, not much because I have a lot of things left from when DD was a baby. If DH didn't know the gender he would definitely have noticed I was buying pink and know why that was.

I think not being able to tell your partner you want to know because you are worried he will be unhappy if it's a boy, indicates far bigger problems with your relationship than the sex of your baby.

I just can't get past someone being 'desperate' for a boy/girl when practically everything else is more important. What do those people do if they find out their child is disabled or has a life limiting illness? Do they still mourn the boy/girl they never had? It just feels so self indulgent.

If I was your DH I’d be absolutely furious that you found out in secret and didn’t tell me. As it’s a secret I assume you’ve agreed not to find out and are going back on that. You agreed, stick to it. Or tell him you are finding out. Don’t do it like this.

Firstly I do not understand how on earth your DH would be disappointed with a healthy baby of any sex, it seems so wrong to me to say that ... but say you do go ahead with the scan are you really going to be done to keep it a secret for the next 20 weeks? Do you not think there's a risk you may blurt it out?

Definitely read this thread a few days ago.

Are you worried that if its a boy he will be a twat and react badly and you want to be prepared and get extra support for around your due date?

Did you find out?😬

NambiBambi i remember that thread too you are not going mad!!!