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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hire a cleaner?

58 replies

Pugmomma · 22/05/2018 07:28

Myself and my partner both work full time, have a 4 year old DD (& 2 fur babies!).

By the time we get home from work, have walked the dogs, cooked tea, done DD’s homework with her, bathed and put her to bed and just generally spent time with her as she goes to breakfast club and after school club until 6 so we only have a couple of hours with her on a weekday. We’re both also fairly active and take turns to go to the gym (usually alternating days).. we seem to have no time whatsoever to properly keep up with the cleaning/washing/ironing.

By the time teas cooked, eaten, DD in bed, dogs walked, been the gym, had a shower it’s around 9/10pm and I’m exhausted.

Would any of you care to share if/how you keep up with housework along with full time hours/kids/pets and generally having a life with hobbies?

I mentioned hiring a cleaner just for a couple of hours on a Friday to my DM & she went on a big rant of waste of money and it’s laziness etc and how she managed as a working mother when I was younger etc.. but truly, I don’t know how she did it..

Are we lazy? Or do you think a cleaner would be a reasonable option? Anyone who’s been in the same situation please share! Flowers

OP posts:
Achafi · 22/05/2018 08:22

Having a cleaner is amazing, just do it, you won't regret it. I had a similar conversation with my parents when I hired mine. I had to point out that we work longer hours with a bigger commute and they had a lot more family help when they had young children than I do. You can't compare lives, everyone is different.

AviatorShades · 22/05/2018 08:28

Different time, different life - I had a cleaner, didn't work, hated cleaning, and felt no need to justify my decision.Shock
She was brilliant, loved cleaning and the amount I paid her was welcomed.
Win-Win situation.

UpperWallop · 22/05/2018 08:30

MissCharley - if your husband would 'let you'? He's not your boss you know.

DanglyEarOrnaments · 22/05/2018 08:34

Pugmomma we are a mid-sized cleaning company with over 100 regular clients. When i go out to quote for services, most clients tell me the story you told as to why they need a cleaner, apart from the elderly or disabled clients of course, but the reasons you give are most people's motivation to get help with their home.

Some tell me that their mum's disapprove like yours does - it' seem a generational issue. I just tell them that there is no shame in hiring help for yourself that you need, want and can afford. We WANT the work so you are supporting local business and helping us provide local employment.

Also despite our pricing at the premium end for service, about a third of our client base are not wealthy or from w wealthy background. They just want a good service and budget for it rather than spend the money elsewhere.

So i say to you, if you want the service (never mind need it, you don;t have to justify making a purchase to anyone else) then as long as you can afford the service - just book it and have an easier time.

My motivation for setting up a cleaning business some 20 years ago was being in the situation you now describe and identifying a need. I was right and it helps people enormously. Just do it! It's nobody else's business.

StormcloakNord · 22/05/2018 08:35

Much and such the same situation as you. 2 of us, 4 yo DD, 1 dog and a cat.

I get up at 6am, walk the dog, by the time I get home it's about 7am and we've got half an hour til we leave so I fold away washing/do quick tidy ups then. After work I'll walk the dog again (albeit a shorter walk!) and DP mulls about/spends time with DD/makes a start on dinner. We have our dinner later than DD so while he's putting her to bed I finish off cooking and we eat dinner. I do small batches of general tidying through the week then get it all done on Sunday. DP helps, obviously, so between two of us we get the whole house blitzed in about 40 mins on a Sunday.

StormcloakNord · 22/05/2018 08:37

I should say by the way I am permanently knackered, we could easily afford a cleaner but I've just never really thought about getting one. I have to get up early to walk the dog anyway so I'd be as well squeezing in housework while I'm at it!

GeneandFred · 22/05/2018 08:40

I'm a cleaner and it's so nice reading all these positive comments about your cleaners!

Biologifemini · 22/05/2018 08:41

Get one every couple of weeks. Life changing.
There is no need to stress about it. Ignore your mother.
It is much better you spend time with your child than leave them on an iPad while you clean.

Jaxtellerswife · 22/05/2018 08:53

As a cleaner, I would say get one Grinit helps you and it helps another person earn some money!

DragonNoodleCake · 22/05/2018 08:53

Best thing we ever did was get a cleaner!

FinallyHere · 22/05/2018 09:04

Getting a good cleaner is indeed life changing. I would not be without ours now. She has branched out in all sorts of areas, does a bit of painting when we are away looks after the house. Finds things we are convinced are entirely lost and about to replace

When we go away especially very early , makes up the bed freshly. Has fresh milk and essentials in the fridge for our return. Organises ironing and dry cleaning. Knows I like a glass by my bedside, that I often remember to take a jug of water up to bed but forget a glass so she always leaves a clean glass out

We call her Treasure

A useless cleaner is no good to anyone, personally recommendation is the way to go but if all fails look out for small ads in local papers. Treat them decently, we pay bank hols and while we are away ... and enjoy.

InkSnail · 22/05/2018 09:20

Does your mum grow all her own food, cut her own hair, mend the roof, fix and wash the car, make her own clothes, paint the ceiling, unblock the drain, tile the bathroom and mend broken appliances?

If paying for a cleaning service is "lazy" then so is paying anyone for something you could do yourself. It's always the traditional "women's work" such as cleaning which some people think ought not to be outsourced. When was the last time a man was called "lazy" for hiring a tree surgeon or plumber?

MatildaTheCat · 22/05/2018 09:27

You don’t need your mums approval for these choices. Just do what works for you.

My parents are aghast at how we have paid help in the house and garden and, oh the horror, take cabs when we don’t want to drive. Different generation. I also pay for help walking my dog. There no end to it. Grin

kaytee87 · 22/05/2018 09:32

Honestly I had a cleaner for a while whilst I was at home 🤷🏼‍♀️ Now just do it myself because she kept being late, cutting her time short plus I find cleaning a bit therapeutic. If / when I go back to work then I would have a cleaner again without batting an eyelid even if I was only PT.
If you want one and can afford it then I'm not sure why you need anyone else's blessing.

DobbyisFREE · 22/05/2018 10:03

I always fine the "I managed" argument really weird. It's something to be proud of yes but if better than just managing is possible and realistic surely we would all want that?

People managed to make their own bread, hand wash their clothes but now it's perfectly normal to buy a loaf and own a washing machine.

I would probably pander to her ego and tell her that you're incredibly proud of how she managed and that thanks to her being such a fab mother, you're now in a better position. You owe it all to her.

I always find if you compliment someone that doesn't agree with you then they are far more reasonable.

DobbyisFREE · 22/05/2018 10:04

p.s I have a cleaner and I genuinely think it saved my relationship

Singlenotsingle · 22/05/2018 10:44

My friend, when she first got married many years ago, told her dh that she'd happily go out to work and add to the family finances IF they got a cleaner in. The cleaner still comes in twice a week 30 years later, even though my friend's now retired. The cleaner's now a family friend. Win win all round.

GalwayWayfarer · 22/05/2018 10:47

Will be the best money you ever spend!

Who cares if your DM did it! It's nothing to do with her what you choose. Hiring a cleaner is just deciding that you value your time more than your money. Time to spend with your precious partner and child, time to do what you love, time to relax. It is worth paying for.

Not to mention you're employing someone else and so helping them!

I have never for one second regretted hiring my cleaner - it was the best choice I ever made.

Racecardriver · 22/05/2018 10:49

I don't even work. I still have one. I have better things to do with my time, if I did it myself I would literally have no time for myself. Happily pay for it be done for me.

LaurieMarlow · 22/05/2018 10:50

I'm guessing your mum didn't work full time while raising you?

Two challenging full time jobs is tough on a family. Your free time is precious, why waste it on something like cleaning if you don't have to? Just go for it. I'm sure you won't look back.

LaurieMarlow · 22/05/2018 10:59

Whoops, just saw that your mum did work.

Even so, the demands on workers are often more considerable nowadays and I also think there's more expected in terms of parental input these days too.

Also, just because she did it doesn't mean you should have to.

MissCharleyP · 22/05/2018 10:59

UpperWallop oh I know he isn’t, he just doesn’t see the point when “it takes a couple of minutes”, problem is a couple of minutes isn’t possible for him ATM. I have mentioned that as he’s unable to do much now and I hate it/have no interest it’s worth spending a few quid but he still doesn’t want to.

FinallyHere · 22/05/2018 13:16

but he still doesn’t want to.

Sounds as if he just wants you to do everything , so he doesn't have to pay

thecatsthecats · 22/05/2018 14:30

Get the cleaner.

Any smug moron who berates you about laziness or expense will not be the one doing your cleaning, nor will they be there at the end of your life to look back and think, "Yes, loved by her family, good at job, but she didn't do her own cleaning?"

As an atheist and a capitalist, I am making the most of my money and time by having a cleaner Grin

checkingforballoons · 22/05/2018 14:42

I’ve finally gotten over my guilt about this and I’m getting someone in once a month to do all of the deep cleaning jobs for us. Go for it!

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