Friend can't accept that my DCs are doing their own thing at their age and don't always want to socialise with me and DH!

[BigSandyBalls2015]

We've all known each other for years and used to do things with the kids - days out, meals round each other's houses etc.

Kids are now mid/late teens and mine don't always want to join us when we've said we're meeting up with these friends.

Sat was a prime example - one of mine was out with her boyfriend, the other had gone to a mate's who she hadn't seen for weeks due to diff part time working shifts etc.

I think this is normal, they're growing up and leading their own lives - friend thinks it's weird and they were rude not to come with us. They would have happily joined us if they were at home and nothing else was going on.

Friend said 'just bloody make them' - really! At that age!

If her kids are a similar age, they are probably sick of being forced to hang out with their 'oldie' parents and friends. I think you and your kids sound totally normal.

YANBU to not make your DC attend but YABU to leave it so open. Its polite, is it not, to say who will be attending, not just leave it to the last minute. What if their DC had turned down another offer because they thought your DC were going and were looking forward to seeing them. Its quite high handed to be honest.

I agree you can't make them go but you also can't say "they might come along".

ugh - we have friends like this! She is always trying to arrange big get togethers which she wants to have all our teenager children at!
Thing is, mine don't even know hers, as she's an old friend of mine who now lives 20 miles away. I always say my DCs can't make it, then she keeps trying to ask for different dates 'when they can'. Eventually, I had to be very blunt and say that in fact they didn't want to come!
That was met with comments like 'How odd? Do you not spend time together as a family?'
Like others have said though I don't think you should leave her hanging about whether your teens are going or not - just say they aren't!

YANBU. I was dragged along to my single DM’s social engagements until I was in my twenties and moved out Some people still send us joint Christmas cards to her house. I’m married!

Even now, when I am closer to 40, if I have some good news she will go, ‘ooh, phone Auntie and Uncle so-and-so, they will be ever so pleased,’ as if I’m 8 and have won a prize in spelling.

(I do NOT phone them.)

Tooth, that is actually quite funny