To feel miffed by babysitter saga!!!

[lill72]

My friend couldn't get a babysitter so asked me for mine. I organised it. I thought it was a one off. Since then, there's been a few group events and she's been using my babysitter on these same nights when I need her! Wouldn't it have been courteous to ask me if it was Ok?? When I got little upset about - her reply was you snooze you lose. She claims she thought it was ok to keep asking her and a misunderstanding. I think she just didnt care. But now she has me into the bad guy. Goodness you try and do someone a favour and now I just feel used. What would you say?

Could the kids alternate sleepovers between your houses on these occasions so that you can both go out?

You can't expect your friend to ask for permission for someone else to do paid work for her!

When it is an occasion where you both want to hire the sitter for the same event then yes, I think you can. Not for other times though, just specifically the joint events.

I'd be annoyed. You'll just have to get in really quickly if there's any events you might both be going to. Plus I'd start paying her more...

It’s a bit of a breach of unspoken etiquette and I would be quietly annoyed but would just let it go and wouldn’t challenge the friend. Wouldn’t rush to do that friend favours again, though.

If my friends pass on a babysitter's details to me and we are both going to the same event - I would out of courtesy ask if they intend to use that babysitter before I booked them. The reason people don't give out babysitter details to their friends is because of what has unfortunately happened to you. So I always ask - and then I know my friends will be happy in the future to pass other babysitter or other details to me. People understandably have preferred baby sisters as they trust them and the baby sitter develops an understanding of their children and family life.

Update - told her how I feel now she has cancelled babysitter for next group event and said she didn't know she was my main babysitter and I had other options. She is the babysitter I most often use. Anyway again not the point. I would ask someone and would certainly feel guilty treating on their toes. I had to leave immediately when I was told 'you snooze you lose'. No telly g me then she was mistaken. Only an afterthought to save face. I had to nip this in the bud before it turned into a big competition.

Zoe sorry but you are not getting it. If there was courtesy involved there wouldn't be a problem. Nothing to do with the babysitter. I have no claim on her. My friend I expected more. I would feel so awful if I did the same. Basic etiquette she does not seem.to possess and I know she does not care.

Outtakes- exactly!! That's all it would have taken. Common courtesy. I won't be so foolish again.

It takes 2 that was supposed to read!!

I agree with you OP, I would be annoyed too. Your friend sounds selfish. YANBU

Thanks Peakypush
Think you have about summed it up. Someone else just asked for my babysitters number- no way!!