to wait until after SIL wedding to start TTC

[Newmums16]

So we always said when DD was 2 we would try for a second. We are going on holiday later in the year (DD is 2 now) and we’d decided we’d try after the holiday. SIL is getting married next summer and has just asked me to be MOH. We’re now thinking of waiting until after the wedding so it’s less complicated (DD would be 3 nearly 4 by time of birth if I got pg ASAP) but AIBU to hold off on our family plans for a wedding? Or is it the right thing to do?

I would probably get going sooner, to hopefully have the baby before the wedding. Personally, I wouldn't wait until after the wedding for it, but it really is your decision.

Don’t put it off for a wedding! Wheh you’re ready to ttc then just go for it.

There is always something to put it off for, I wouldn’t .

Hold off if that works better for you. Only thing is if you don't conceive straight away (say it takes a year or two), are you happy with a bigger age gap/being that much older etc. with a second? That would be my only consideration.

I wouldn’t wait, I’d start trying now with a break in the 2 months that would be most disruptive to the wedding so heavily pregnant/overdue/very newborn.

DC1 took 1 month to conceive and DC2 took 17 months so it may be out of your hands anyway!

I'd try and have a baby before the wedding. I'd never put off TTC for someone else.

There’s no right answer as long as it’s you and your DH making the decision not SIL. Do whatever is best for your family. Personally I wouldn’t though, that’s a very long time to wait.

TTC doesn't happen to a schedule, you can't tell if it will happen in the first month or five years later.

You’d change your life plan and entire family dynamic for one day (upon which no one will care what stage of child rearing you are at) !?

Is it really the wedding which is your main consideration, or do you think maybe you're looking for an excuse not to TTC because you don't feel quite ready yet? I only ask because I'm in exactly the same situation as you, we have one DC who is 2 and we said we'd start trying now but I keep wavering and wondering if it's still too soon. We have a good balance right now and I don't want to mess it all up!

If I'm barking up the wrong tree and it really is just about the wedding then I do think it's a bit much to postpone TTC for one day! But it's up to you.

I wouldn't put off TTC just for the sake of one day. Especially someone else's day.

The reason we haven’t started ttc now is because we have a long haul flight/active holiday in Oct and I really don’t want to be pregnant then. If I got pg straight after that I’d be due bang on wedding month or if it took a while then pg during the wedding. I just didn’t want to ruin her hen party and other stuff but at the same time I have started to think I don’t want too big an age gap and if it doesn’t happen straight away as PP stated then the gap would be even bigger and I’d be pretty sad about that to be honest

No way would I put off ttc for a wedding of someone else's!

It's one day. Dresses can be altered or changed. Arrangements can be made for the kids.

If you and your dp are ready, do it. You never know what problems you could face when ttc and wasting all that time if you wanted to be trying, for the sake of one day, would be a bit silly.

Why not wait a month after you come back after the holiday? If you do get pregnant right away then your due date will still be a month after the wedding so baring an unexpected early arrival, you shouldn’t actually miss the big day. Wait any longer than that and I think you’d regret putting your life on hold to such an extent. You sound like you have a fab relationship with SIL so I’m sure she’d be thrilled for you rather than upset about her hen.

I'd never put off TTC for someone else.

^This

Don’t put it off for one day. If you want to wait until your holiday, fine.

Put it off until after your holiday, so you would be 7/8months at most at the wedding. A pregnant bridesmaid is not a problem.

There really is no guarantee you would conceive straight away!

I wouldn’t put it off for a wedding. I would’nt put it off for a holiday either. Personally I would start trying now and risk being pregnant for the holiday. You wouldnt be too for gone on holiday if you got pregnant soon and you could have baby in good time before the wedding. Maybe take a break for the month that baby would be due for the wedding date.

I put off ivf for an overseas wedding. I regret it. You can’t plan your fertility. Even if you have a baby already. My sister fell pregnant with her first instantly - took 3 years to fall pregnant with a 2nd. Accidently fell pregnant with a 3rd six months after her 2nd was born.

It's crazy to put off ttc a child because someone else is getting married.

I put off TTC my second baby until after a friend's wedding. Purely because I wanted to drink, have fun, not feel nauseous.

But that was only a question of a couple of months, and I'd fallen pregnant the first time immediately upon TTC and expected that to happen again (which in fact it did - but it mightn't have done).

I wouldn't have done it if it had meant a 9 month difference.

You would be absolutely mad to delay because of somebody else wedding. The wedding is not about you, and even if you are in the middle of giving birth, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things!

You are very lucky if you get pregnant immediately, but it's unpredictable. Putting your own life on hold is crazy. You do mean well, so that's a lovely gesture. If your SIL was unhappy about you being pregnant, she really wouldn't deserve you being so kind anyway.

Why would you put your life plans on hold for a wedding?

"Personally I would start trying now and risk being pregnant for the holiday. "

Me too!

You'd only be 5/6months.