Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel I don't love my kids

59 replies

meadowposy · 20/05/2018 08:26

I just don't. I like them and I most definitely do right by them and I put them first but I don't think I love them really.

I suppose as long as they don't find out it doesn't matter does it?

OP posts:
Urbanbeetler · 20/05/2018 08:28

It’s unusual to feel like that unless you have depression. Could you be depressed do you think?

Jotribiani · 20/05/2018 08:29

im Afraid it does matter. Have you been to see a doctor about the way your feeling

meadowposy · 20/05/2018 08:32

Have been on ads before but they made me feel even more numb.

OP posts:
Ohmydayslove · 20/05/2018 08:33

Loving your children is far easier then liking them though. Why do you think you don’t love them?

maddening · 20/05/2018 08:34

Do you love anyone in your life?

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 20/05/2018 08:34

I think there are times for everyone when there feels a bit of a disconnect maybe a struggle to bond or doubt in your ability, that sort of thing is pretty normal and temporary. Feeling as if you actually feel no love for your children is something a bit more concerning.
Are you feeling ok generally?

Abitlost2015 · 20/05/2018 08:35

Do you not love them? Do you not love the changes they bring to your life? Do you not love what they do? The needs they have? What they ask of you? The role of being a mother? The responsibility? They personalities?

meadowposy · 20/05/2018 08:36

I don't think I do love anyone, no. I care about people but I don't feel that heartwrenching sense of love to any of them. I like them and I care about them though and look after them.

OP posts:
Fatted · 20/05/2018 08:37

There are plenty of times I hate them and cannot stand them. But I will always love them.

I think perhaps you'd benefit from talking to someone professionally about how you're feeling, some counseling perhaps.

Ohmydayslove · 20/05/2018 08:38

Would you take a bullet for them op?

Pengggwn · 20/05/2018 08:40

I really hate the dogmatic insistence that not loving your children = mental health problem. People exist on a spectrum. Most people love their children. Some don't. Some people don't feel strong feelings of love. If that has always described you, OP, I really can't see how a doctor is going to do anything about that. Providing your kids believe you love them, you are doing everything in your power.

Obviously if you feel something has changed and you used to feel differently, or something is preventing you feeling love, that is another kettle of fish.

DialsMavis · 20/05/2018 08:41

Are you comparing the "Love" other people seem to have for people? I.e OTT proclamations on social media.

Are you happy you had your DC?
What made you have more then one?
Does affection towards them come easily to you?
Do you miss them when you are not with then?

meadowposy · 20/05/2018 08:42

That's what I try to do. I try to make them believe I love them.

OP posts:
meadowposy · 20/05/2018 08:42

They are always with me! No, on the rare occasions they aren't I don't miss them, it's a relief.

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 20/05/2018 08:44

This is very sad, but I don't necessarily think you are ill and I don't think it is helpful to suggest you are.

Not planning more, are you?

Melliegrantfirstlady · 20/05/2018 08:46

I think your perception of love may be distorted.

I bet they are young?

I love getting a break from my children

I’d say you love them more than you know!

DialsMavis · 20/05/2018 08:48

Ok maybe you just need a break from them? I wasn't overly keen on mine when I was at home with them. Now I work full time and they are older its a different kettle of fish.

I am.not overly maternal and hanging out with young DC was really not for me.

Ohmydayslove asked a good question: would you take a bullet for them? & Would you swap their pain for yours?

happinessischocolate · 20/05/2018 08:48

I've felt like this and I think you're wrong, you do love them, and if anything happened to them you'd be devastated.

The fact that you don't miss them and it's a relief to have time off is not an indication of lack of love it's an indication that you're knackered and overwhelmed.

How old are they? I bet they are at ages where they are hard work.

I don't miss my kids when they're not here, never have done, I'm a single parent who desperately needed time away from them. Don't be so hard on yourself.

user838383 · 20/05/2018 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Urbanbeetler · 20/05/2018 08:53

I do think it’s very important to explore whether you may have depression in spite of other opinions - you may not have it but it is something you can live with untreated for years and yes, it can affect how you relate to your children. It is my experience of my childhood with my mother.

Bobbybobbins · 20/05/2018 08:53

I'm the opposite - I love them but don't like them sometimes!

LostInShoebiz · 20/05/2018 08:53

YY to the poster who pointed different versions of love (in a more nuanced way than I just put it). If you like someone very much and would always do right by them, what else is that but love? It doesn't always have to be a big feeling that has you spinning out of control if you're separated for half an hour or constantly thinking how you'd die for them.

annandale · 20/05/2018 08:54

I don't think I missed ds once until this year and he's 14 now - I was very unhappy and homesick one day and felt quite desperate to see him. But I think it is very hard to miss people who never go away and who you are relentlessly responsible for.

You're right that being there is the most important bit. But trying to cultivate love is a good thing. Do they go to other people's houses? Sometimes other people will tell you nice things about your children you had barely noticed (or perhaps that's just me).

oldbirdy · 20/05/2018 08:54

The love I have for my children isn't like tomantic love. I don't get butterflies in my tummy when I see them. It isn't like the love you read about, my heart doesn't swell to bursting each time I see them. Sometimes it is a relief to have them go off somewhere where I know they are safe so I can rest, because parenting is hard work. There are days when I find each one irritating, or needy, or rude, or self centered.

But imagine now one of them has gone and you don't know where. They have disappeared at the park, for example. Do you still feel relief? If not, it's because the relief is from the responsibility of caring, not from them themselves.

Imagine you live in a warning torn country and soldiers are coming through your street. Would you hide the children? Protect them with your life?

Imagine one of your children is desperately ill. Would you be sitting beside their hospital bed faking concern? After all, if one of them dies and you don't really love them it'd be a nasty shock but you'd be over it in a week or two. Heaven forbid, but if one of your children died would you be over it in a week or two?

When my child lay waiting for a lifesaving operation, I would have given anything I had to make her well again. Watching her fading away was agonising. I might not get a heart that swells with love each time I look at them, but I would gladly give my life for each one of my children. My fundamental wish is for them to grow up, grow old, and be happy. That is how I know I love them.

UrgentScurryfunge · 20/05/2018 08:54

Love is a huge variety of sensations. Heartwenching is probably a manifestation of it that I would only feel if there is some kind of threat or peril to them. Sometimes I feel a little gentle glow when they're being cute or having achieved something. Most of the time it's not an active "feeling". I know I love them most if they're having a very challenging moment but still my priority is their well being and wanting things to be better for them.

That's not to say that there isn't an underlying issue behind your feelings, but we don't go through life feeling the full force of an emotion all the time, that wouldn't be healthy. Romantic love can be quite tangible at first, but that fades and becomes more like a background comfort of familiarity like a well molded pair of slippers and snugly blanket. Love for children can be harder to feel and explicitly describe, but it's that instinct to protect and prioritise them. A connection that is rarely broken. But it's not the kind of love that is so easy to describe in words or show on TV on its usual day to day level.